The Eternal Burden
by Thugs Bunny 009
Summary: Having failed to rescue his comrades and his entire world from the hands of 'Big mama' the ancestral son of the Sage of Six Paths laments his new life in a place with fighters compatible to Genin and low Chunin. One day, he'll find a way back to kick that bitch's ass for sure. Narutoxharem. Godlike!Naruto
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Ranma 1/2**

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**The Eternal Burden **

**Prologue **

What a stupid lousy cheating villain.

Those were the exact words spoken three months ago by one spiky blond-haired reincarnated ninja after getting casted off from his home planet or dimension to some next one, because apparently she was the original gangsta, the first verdict, and she claimed in all her self-righteousness her ancestral grandbaby-boys deserved a second chance.

The next thing Sasuke and Naruto saw her do was flash through a series of hand-signs, before a bright blinding light eclipsed everything.

When the light faded away, and Naruto came around he found Sasuke missing, along with Sakura, and Kakashi too, furthermore he wasn't in the Elemental Nations anymore!

The blond boy tried to ask a man dressed in a authority uniform where he was, but he just freaked out and fainted from seeing Naruto in his powered-up state. Though the only productive thing which came out of the whole incident was the fact that Naruto discovered for the life of him he couldn't understand a word the man was yelling.

He was speaking so incoherently, at least to Naruto's ears. The only thing Naruto got out of that whole confrontation and the bizarre, gawking looks of the other civilians was that a casual walking super-powered ninja wasn't a daily occurrence, so he powered-down into his base mode.

It took a while after that but eventually they got someone who could speak his native tongue fluidly. Apparently, he was a Japanese-looking American boy, and he was in an American airport. How he got there he didn't know. He asked them did they know anything about dimensional-travel but they looked at him like he was off of the rocker, so he zipped his mouth shut.

After that they shipped him off to Japan and got him a cheap apartment there.

XxX

(Present Day – Japan - Nerima – With Naruto)

The blond Uzumaki trudged through the streets of Nerima, glaring at everything for no particular reason.

He wore an orange hooded windbreaker, over a white short-sleeved t shirt, a pair of blue slacks, and a couple of sneakers fitted on his feet. He still had his invaluable green gem necklace given to him by the lady whom he thought of his grandma wrapped around his neck.

He hated it here. He just wished he could go home and beat the crap out of Kaguya for sending him here. He carried a lot of pain on his shoulders, being reminded everyday just by being alive and well that all of his friends and comrades were either enforced slaves against their wills, or trapped in a fake world created by their inner desires.

Naruto didn't know which one was worse.

On second thought, scratch that. Of course he did. If he had to choose between having to live in a dream world where he could get everything he always wanted, including being with the girl of his dreams, or getting everything that him Naruto taken away from him like his chakra among other traits, just to act as someone else's faceless slave then yeah, that route was basically already made for him.

Sign him up, and call him a cab because dream world would be getting a new tenant.

Not even needing to turn his head to know a familiar person he met in this place was approaching him, since his sensing abilities were off of the charts, Naruto just stopped, "Hey," He called out, his voice not laced with its usual chirpiness, and his face set in neutral mode.

"Oh. Well hello, Naruto-kun." A young brown haired woman slightly shorter than Naruto carrying bag of groceries in her arms greeted him with a pleasantly sweet smile on her face.

She was a beautiful reserved woman whom kept her sulky brown hair in a ponytail with a white hair-bobble. She was modestly garbed in a baby blue dress, which reached her knees, almost covering up the white shoes on her feet.

"Kasumi," Naruto mumbled.

Naruto had met Kasumi Tendo sometime after he had first arrived in Nerima and was directed to go to the clinic to get a check-up. They said it was mandatory, but Naruto thought they just wanted to see if he was crazy.

The doctor was amazed by Naruto's test results. Everything was just off of the charts. The blond just seemed like the textbook definition of superhuman. But before the doc could really process Naruto's results, this young woman walked in with another girl whom had blue hair.

When Kasumi sauntered in with her little sister, Naruto could've sworn the world just got flipped upside down. He had never seen someone act so crazy in his life! And he was him! Naruto Uzumaki - world's dumbest ninja, _was_.

"Were you heading to the market district to pick up some groceries?" Kasumi asked politely. She liked Naruto, he was a nice young man with a good heart. When she picked up on how lost Naruto was in Nerima, Kasumi took it upon herself to help him get by.

"Hmm. Just out to pick up a few bits and bobs," Naruto mumbled cryptically, a scowl coming to his face as he looked at the bag she was carrying, "Whaddya got there anyway?" Of course he knew. He wanted to hear her say it.

"Oh, just some groceries for tonight's dinner," Kasumi answered with a smile.

Naruto sighed, knowing the young woman really did too much for not only her family, but also him. Naruto really wasn't fond of Kasumi's father; to be frank he hated the man for treating his eldest daughter as if she was some unpaid servant.

With the way things were shaping up, Kasumi's younger sisters would eventually move out of the house to deal with their own lives, while Kasumi will be stuck taking care of their father until they were both old and grey, never getting to experience a life of her own.

Naruto frowned.

He wanted to change Kasumi's supposed pre-set fate despite being destined to become all-powerful himself, because after all, even Kasumi deserved to taste the finer things in life. Nothing should prohibit her from smelling the roses.

"Is something the matter, Naruto-kun?" The soft-spoken demure housewife-like lady queried quietly.

"It's nothing," Naruto brushed it off, not wanting to trouble the kind lady, "You have enough on your plate without worrying about me." He graced her with a small grin, though he didn't feel much like grinning with the burden he carried with him, it made Kasumi happy seeing such a good man, in her eyes, smile.

Naruto was rewarded for his efforts with a smile of Kasumi's own, "Okay. Just know I'm here for you, Naruto-kun. All you have to do is ask."

Naruto frowned, moving forward in front of the traditional lady to relieve her of her baggage, "You do too much, seriously. Even you need to kick back and relax sometimes."

"The chores won't do themselves, but I think I see what you're saying." Kasumi said, gracing the kind gentleman with another sweet smile at the assistance.

"Hmmmm! I guess," Naruto conceded, his eyes squinted in deep thought, 'Damn it, Soun! Why ya gotta be such a lazy ass, damn it! Your daughter's breaking her back here to keep things running while you sit on your ass!' Naruto ranted mentally.

"Shall we?" Kasumi asked, bringing Naruto out of his monologue.

Naruto gave the groceries a one-over, "Is this it?"

"Oh! Just the necessities," Kasumi explained, a little bit of a troubled frown enveloping her features, "I was going to pick up more, but…"

"Say no more." She couldn't do so, she had only one set of arms after all, "Let's head back into town. You can buy all you want and I'll be your mule. I'm as stubborn as one anyway," He joked, giving the woman a cheeky smile.

Kasumi let out a smile giggle, "Thank you, Naruto-kun. Really you don't have to go through all the trouble. I'm sure we can manage fine like this."

"Really. I insist." Naruto said, never losing his little grin in the presence of the kind-hearted lady.

"Thank you," Kasumi bowed.

"So!" Naruto perked up, "Let's roll." He felt Kasumi hook her arms inside his one, giving him her signature kind smile.

"Yes."


	2. The Road to Enlightenment Closed Off

**Disclaimer: I don't Naruto or Ranma 1/2**

**Oh my god, Kishimoto-sensei. Naruto's been practicing _that _jutsu more than the Rasengan?!**

**In the words of Riley to Naruto, "Nigga, yer gay. **

**Oh and Sasuke got teleported to Hueco Mundo. Guess we know why Kubo-sensei's been holding out on Grimmjow's reappearance now, eh. **

**Guest: Ugh. I hate doing this. Responding to you's cool and all, but I would rather do so discreetly. That said, please point out the episode/chapter of which Soun is seen either heading out to work or wearily trudging through the door after a hard day on the job, because for the life of me I really can't remember. I really can't. I'm just being honest with you.**

**I remember Genma having a job at one stage, but that was as a panda, and only for a short period of time. I don't know why you brought up Nabiki for, considering I ain't even so much of hinted her 'paying' for anything that isn't for numero uno, herself, but I can see why people use that fandom cliche of her bringing in ends-meat for her family. It gives her another dimension instead of just outright portraying her as some merciless gold digger who'll do everything for a quick buck. **

**Lol at Kasumi loving housework. What are you saying? That you want her to be portrayed as one-dimensional? That's just... no, just... no. Authors nine times out of ten will look to expand on Kasumi's character, because there's really not much to her character in canon. There really isn't.**

**Phew, I hope that clears that up. Also, I implore you to get an account so in future we can settle any controversy discreetly without either of us getting villainized.**

**Now, if you choose to keep reading, then enjoy, if you don't wanna keep on reading, then by all means keep trolling, because joke's on you. You'll just be adding to my review count. **

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**Chapter One**

**The Road to Enlightenment Closed Off**

Despite the fact that the city of Nerima was now being polluted by heavy rain fall, it wasn't enough to damper the spirits of one patriarch.

His long black straightened hair fell to his mid back. From his complexion one would come to the conclusion he was spending too much time in the sun as it was sunburned red. He had a small pencil-shaped moustache and he had dark eyes. His garments consisted of a grey karate-styled gi top, opened at the chest area but held close at the wrist area by a black belt, a pair of matching pants, and wooden sandals on his feet.

He was once a proud and highly respected martial artist, but nowadays he was reduced to a snivelling shell of his former self, barely putting in much effort to keep his daughter well versed in the arts, to the point where she saw it as a mere hobby, rather than a means to an end.

This was okay, though.

In his hand, from where he was standing in the door frame after picking up the mail the mail-man had obviously posted through the letterbox of his dojo, was a letter from his long-time friend and fellow disciple. As his eyes roamed the contents of the life-filling words the letter held, the trembling man still almost felt the need to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Saotome's coming!" He chirped. He turned his head in the direction of the stairs, cupping his mouth with his hand as if it would really enhance the volume of his voice, "Nabiki-dear, I would like you to come to the living room!" He could hear a thumping sound, followed by an incoherent mumble from upstairs, but otherwise he took that as a sign that she was coming down.

He took a stroll down the hallway of his home but before he could complete his trek to the living room, he stopped and stared at a different direction that branched off from the one he was going to take to the living room.

"Akane-dear! I need to see you, too! Hurry!"

XxX

(Meanwhile – With Naruto and Kasumi)

XxX

Kasumi was without a doubt grateful to Mr Muscles for carrying all the shopping bags without so much of breaking a sweat. She had brought enough shopping to last her and her family at least a month depending on how much they ate in this time-span.

Usually, she would be out daily picking up a few ingredients for that day's meal she had planned to prepare, because carrying so many bags at a time took its toll on the housewife-esque young woman. And weariness was obviously the last thing she needed to feel with the remaining chores still needing to be done among preparing herself and her family their dinner for the day.

"I'm thankful for your assistance, Naruto-kun," Kasumi smiled alongside the young Uzumaki holding ten plain blue plastic bags, five in each hand, containing the many other groceries Kasumi would need to avoid going out for another month at least.

The now windbreaker-less blond just hummed, relaxingly looking over at the young woman intertwining their arms together so they could both stay under the protective shelter that was the white umbrella Naruto had brought for Kasumi.

It was a good thing he didn't watch too much television this world had to offer, otherwise he would've frowned like Kasumi did at the weather-forecaster's failed prediction of the weather itself. He immediately passed his jacket over to Kasumi who declined at first, not wanting the blond to catch a cold, but shortly accepted the jacket when the stubborn blond gently threw it over her shoulders.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay like that?" Kasumi murmured enquiringly, uncertain whether or not she should be wearing Naruto's jacket, 'Perhaps I really ought to give it back to him.'

"Hmm. I'm good," Naruto mumbled, sighing with a little bit of annoyance creeping into his voice. Kasumi really did worry too much, she had been recounting that last question ever since they began leaving the market district.

"Look, we'll be at your home sooner than we know it," Naruto tried to reason as a way to ease Kasumi's anxiety, the rain-droplets bouncing off of the umbrella, rolling off of it just in front of the duo, "Don't sweat."

Kasumi offered the laid-back young man a small smile, subtly tightening her grip on Naruto's arm. Oh, they must've looked like a couple being so close together. A lot of the folks in the market district looked at them that way too, and still it went even further. The cashiers of the stands they visited to buy said groceries Naruto was carrying even called Kasumi Naruto's 'lady friend', to which Naruto declined she was, leaving him guessing to what relation he held to her.

Either-way, no one wanted to mess with Kasumi with Naruto at her side.

"I know, but in times like this," She started, indicating to the falling rain around them, "-I can't help, but worry for your health."

A frown appeared on Naruto's whisker-marked face complete with squinted eyes, "Hmm," he tried to think of a way to explain to Kasumi that he wouldn't catch such a simple thing in his own simplistic way, "Don't." Mission accomplished.

"You know that only makes me worry more," Kasumi reminded.

"Don't be a worry wart," Naruto quipped simplistically, and in something akin to a jesting fashion, "I train a lot y'know? Any bad germs looking to settle down in this badass ninja is gonna get exiled through my armpits via sweat! So don't sweat!" Naruto thought that was kind of funny, how he was telling Kasumi not to sweat while he does, and damn would he be sweating a lot.

Apparently, the pun was not lost on Kasumi since she giggled slightly, "You do have a point." She had to concede in a gentle fashion. Being around a couple of martial arts would give a person a decent amount of insight on their health, "Why, I can't remember a day since Akane-imouto has caught a cold since the day father started teaching her martial arts," A thoughtful expression appeared on her face, "No, I really can't. I guess you're right Naruto-kun."

"Heck yeah I am."

"Hey what's that?"

"I think it's a girl."

"Is she… running from something?"

"What could she be running from?"

"Wait. Is that a-?"

A blank inquisitive expression masked Naruto's face at the equally probing voices he picked up from the bystanders or passing civilians, though the last voice really tickled his curiosity-bone since it almost felt like the person was gobsmacked. Whatever she saw must be out of the ordinary, so Naruto gave a quick scan of the area and felt two small 'chakra'-energy signatures quickly approaching.

He halted, bringing Kasumi to an equally sudden pause since she was more or less glued to him.

"What's wrong, Naruto-kun?" Kasumi asked, a little concerned with her friend's sudden pause on their trek to the Tendo Dojo.

"Just a minute," Naruto said with a knowing smirk on his features, teasing his friend with the knowledge that he knew, or at least had a rough idea, of what was approaching and she didn't. Kasumi, though, to her credit, just smiled pleasantly, seeing that Naruto was enjoying himself.

Her smile quickly faded when a petite red haired young woman came skidding past from the left on the balls of her feet, stopping right next to a shop. Naruto's eyes instantly shot wide open, his eyes honed in on the girl's hair rather than her shapely hips, and busty, *drools* boobies.

She was a pretty young woman with fair skin and her tomato hair was tied in a pigtail. Her garments consisted of a red silk Chinese blouse with a white sash tied around her waist, a pair of black pants, and martial art shoes on her feet.

"Such pretty hair," Naruto mumbled in a daze, getting a look from Kasumi before a white and black animal came stomping into view, proceeding to freak the other civilians out, "Oh, goody, a panda! Looks kinda mad, though," He said nonchalantly, after meeting kung-Fu/samurai ass-kicking/slashing frogs, a serious boss-looking panda with an energy-signature around Chunin-level seemed par for the course for Naruto.

"Oh my!" It wasn't for Kasumi since she gasped with a hand covering her mouth, "I wonder what Mr Panda's doing around here in Japan."

"Hmmm. I heard the North-pole's gone South beach," Naruto joked with his eyes squinted, watching the redhead take up a skilful stance against the panda. Kasumi had to do a double take with her head tilted cutely to one side.

Was that adorable little girl really going to fight Mr Panda?

"C'mon then!" The redhead commanded, showing some feistiness which surprised Kasumi.

Naruto was initially impressed by the young redhead woman's agility when the panda lunged in on her with a claw extended, only to miss as the young woman nimbly spun on her heels, so her back was facing the panda, driving an elbow into its stomach which caused it to cough blood from its mouth.

"Ya have sum nerve pickin' my fiancée fer' me, yer old fart!" That was even more gasp-worthy, that despite being a rather reserved-looking female fighter, she was speaking as if she had come straight from the streets of Los Angeles, the bad side that was, with her ghetto-talking-self, "Without even asking fer my permission!"

Regardless of the size difference between the two, the redhead was still able to judo-flip the huge chubby panda over her shoulder, smashing it down on the ground.

"Suck on dat old man!" The rude-girl raged, picking up her dropped backpack, "I'm goin' back ta China, old man, so ya can take that engagement shit 'n shove it up yer ass!" While everyone else was taken aback by her rather colourful, strong vocabulary, the observant Uzumaki was more intrigued of how the young woman identified the panda, calling it an 'old man', implying it was a male.

Where he had come from a transformation into animals and other stuff not of human nature were common knowledge, though what he found perplexing was the fact he couldn't for the life of him detect a transformation from the 'maybe man-turned-panda'. Then there was the fact it should've dispelled after the young woman had slammed the panda into the ground.

"Hmm. Mebbies he's mastered it to the extent that granny Tsunade did," Naruto murmured thoughtfully, his rather vague words caught Kasumi's attention.

"Hmm? Did you say something, Naruto-kun?" Kasumi wondered.

This one time Naruto blanked her in favour of eyeing the girl walking away, though that wasn't what had his attention. It was the 'panda' rising to 'its' feet before casually plucking a stop sign out of the ground, stealthily stalking the redhead.

"You idiot! Don't drop your guard like that!" Naruto shouted, making the redhead turn her head curiously in his direction at the sound of his loud, scolding voice. But before she could really process his words, and retort casually, she jumped out of surprise from the blond speedily blurring forward, suspending the pigtail of her hair.

"Whoa! Talk 'bout putting the pedal to the metal!" She quipped with a gawk at the blond's speed, also taking note to the gaps of the other civilians, 'Meh. I betcha I coulda took that gu-.' The ringing sound of metal landing on the wet ground cut her off. She looked in the direction of the sound and blinked her eyes, "A stop sign?"

"Hey, kid," The redhead flinched at the similar voice that chided her moments ago, mostly because it came directly behind her, before she pivoted on her heels to see a blond-haired young man about her age standing in front of the panda who had a frightened look on its face, "You really ought to take better care of your blind spot. People will take advantage of that y'know."

"Well who asked ya fer' yer advice Mr Whiskers!" The redhead quipped snappily, taking a jibe at the scar-like birthmarks on the blonde's cheeks.

"Hmmm, jeez, I don't know, maybe the girl who was about to get taken out by old ninja panda here," Naruto retorted.

The girl turned away from him with her arms crossed over her chest and a small pout on her features, "I coulda taken that raggedy ass old man no problemo! One lucky sucker shot don't mean anythin' oh-kay!"

"Sure it doesn't honey," Naruto chirped teasingly, getting a glare from the redhead in return while the panda appeared to be calming down. Seeing the panda regaining its composure, Naruto made it lose it again by tussling at it in a threatening manner, making it cringe.

"Heh! This is a piece of cake!" Naruto boasted, sweeping the panda off of its feet with a low kick, before going high, leaving the panda in the air for a second, then blasted the panda down the street with a simple kick. The crowd, the redhead, and Kasumi were all left gaping at the blond's prowess, but for other people they were shocked at Naruto's brutality of a poor animal.

"Oh that poor panda!"

"How could he be so cruel!?"

"Mommy, why did the bad man hurt Mr Panda?"

"Don't look at him sweetie?"

"Everyone we have to go help that panda!"

"Yes, he could be seriously hurt!"

"Then we'll take him back to the Zoo!"

"Where he'll be safe from savages like that ruthless man!"

The civilians spoke in such a synchronized order, one might have thought they actually all knew each other to some extent. Either that or there was something in the air, as a bewildered blond shinobi watched them dash off in the direction of where he had mercilessly booted the panda. He had to check to make sure Kasumi hadn't ditched him to rush off to the aid of the panda.

Thankfully she hadn't.

'Serves dat crummy tube of lard right anyway, pawning me off on sum girl I've never even met or even heard a' before!' The redhead ranted mentally, feeling nothing but disdain for the supposed injured panda, 'I mean who in the hell does he thinks he is, anyway? The very least he coulda done is asked me, so I coulda told him to talk to the hand 'cause the face ain't listenin'!'

"No need to thank me. I'm just your friendly neighbourhood shinobi!" The blond haired young man's chirpy quote brought the redhead out of her musings.

"Yeah, no, I hadn't planned on thankin' ya in the first place, 'Spidey'," The redhead retorted, a hand on her hip, "But since ya asked fer' one so nicely, how 'bout this? Thanks, but no thanks. I coulda dealt with big ol' panda on my own! Last thing I needed was fer sum wannabe hero ta hog the spotlight."

"Aw. Is someone cranky because they didn't get their thunder bottle," Naruto mocked, getting decked in the face by the feisty redhead.

Even Kasumi could feel the tension mounting to dangerous levels as she noticed the blond drop his teasing smirk, "Oh dear! I really wish she hadn't of done that." She said, slightly fearing for the girl's safety. Luckily for her, Naruto decided to go easy on her, double-finger poking her to her forehead, slamming her down to the ground on her rear-end.

"Ow! Whatcha do that for?" She whined, grasping the assaulted brow with both her hands, 'Rats! His two fingers felt like a damn steam-train mowing me down!' That was a painful, hard, pill to swallow. She took great pride in her strength, to know there was someone out there who could not only bruise her head, but also force her on her knees with only his two fingers was not a pleasant feeling to her behind.

She would need to get her hands on some lube later.

When the redhead looked up, trying to muster some confidence to glare at her attacker, she suddenly felt very small gazing into the glaring eyes of the grumpy shinobi.

"Naruto-kun!" Fortunately for the redhead a louder than normal soft voice castigated the blond, putting a curious expression on her face until it was satisfied when a brown haired lady holding an umbrella jogged up to the side of Naruto, a slight frown decorating her face, "You shouldn't be so rude to her."

Naruto turned his head away from Kasumi, still managing to cross his arms over his chest regardless of the ten bags he held, "She asked for it!" He pouted childishly, missing the glare the redhead sent him.

Kasumi released a sigh, before turning to the downed redhead with her trademark gentle smile on her features, "I apologize on behalf of Naruto-kun and myself, he's," She paused, attempting to carefully word her explanation of Naruto's temper, while the redhead looked at her curiously, "-He's new here. I hope you won't hold this misunderstanding against him miss," She hoped pleasantly, 'I do hope I wasn't too harsh on Naruto-kun.'

The young redhaired woman gave Naruto an spectating glance before returning her gaze on Kasumi, "Yeah, I kinda figured the gaijin would'na be from around here."

"I'm not a gaijin!" Naruto blurted out stubbornly. Why did people always call him that? "Damn it!"

The redhead gave the blond haired young man a cheeky smirk, "Well yer look like one to me… _Blondie."_

"Humph. Whatever," Naruto sulked. It didn't matter. At the end of the day, he looked like a Super Saiyan with his unusual blond hair and blue eyes, and they were awesome! So how did ya like 'em apples, haters!? Hey, just because he didn't watch much television in this world didn't mean he didn't watch TV all together. The blonde enjoyed the occasion cartoon every and then, be it hardcore action ones such as Dragon Ball Z with their Super Saiyan planet-destroying epicness, or silly, slapstick humorous ones like Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy, with their mad, money-making schemes. The prank master, Eddy, was his favourite character, with lovable Ed as a close second.

The redhead chuckled wryly at the grumping young man.

"My, it's nice to see you in such high spirits, miss," Kasumi smiled, bending down to offer the girl a hand.

The redhead accepted the hand with a cheery grin on her features, "Hell yeah I am! Taking shots at Whiskers is enough ta fill my funny fer the day," She got a scoff from Naruto in return, "Oh, name's Ranma Saotome by the way."

"My. What a nice name. You're so well-mannered too, asking for someone else's name before requesting theirs," Kasumi praised, making the redhead rub the back of her head in a bashful manner, "Oh where are my manners? I'm Kasumi Tendo, I'm sure you already know Naruto-kun here."

Ranma put on a teasing smirk which she quickly sent Naruto's way, "Oh I already got _Whiskers-chan_'s name jogged down in my little memory book," She got her desired ruse out of Naruto when the whiskered-face shinobi spun towards her with a heated glare.

"Ah hell no, I _know _you didn't just call me that! Ya want summa this?" Naruto held out his arms in a challenging manner, but the redhead just cheekily, yet cockily retreated with a cheerful grin on her features.

"Smell ya later, Whiskers!" Ranma carelessly sprinted away from the annoyed blond at Kakashi's level of speed. She was definitely better than the usual bunch of wannabes around this area, but of course she was nowhere near his or Sasuke's level. That wasn't a fair comparison. Sasuke and Naruto were demi-gods in their own world, and here they were literally gods among civilians.

Kasumi just let out another sigh at the sulky blond haired young man before fretting as the rain continued to douse his form. He really shouldn't have given her his jacket. Now he was going to catch a cold or something.

"Oh, Naruto-kun, look at you. You're getting all wet. You know you really should take your jacket back. You might catch a cold." Naruto simply rolled his eyes, tuning out the worrying Kasumi while she remained fretting over his condition.

XxX

(Tendo Dojo)

XxX

After the patriarch of the dojo had gathered his other daughters in the living room part of the dojo, the patriarch cheerily stood up, his arms folded behind his back as he gazed out into the open world from his position on the edge of the living room.

"Ah. It's such a lovely day."

His daughters shared a glance with each other, letting the other know silently they didn't have a clue what their father meant by such an description.

"Oh that is such an accurate description, daddy, after all it's not like they say rain doesn't dampen the spirits now," His second eldest daughter said, sarcasm laced in her voice. Her chocolate brown hair fell to her shoulders, her coffee brown eyes were lowered in a half-lidded fashion to give off a static feel about them, and her garments coincided with her bland expression; just a simple green traditional yukata.

Nabiki's dry rebuttal of his optimistic description of the day clearly never annoyed him in the least since he just guffawed slightly, "Of course! Of course! We should all be happy!"

Now his youngest daughter was really concerned, if not also annoyed by her father's cheery attitude, "What do you mean daddy? Why did you call us here?" Akane asked crossly. Like her sister, she too was blossoming into a beautiful young woman, though with how insecure she was, it blinded her from seeing her own beauty.

Her long luscious dark blue hair fell past her shoulder-blades, to her higher back, tied at the bottom of her hair was a red hair-band. Even know she wore clothes displaying her status of a martial artist, a light yellow long sleeved karate Gi-top, with matching pants, held closed at the wrist by a red belt, a white undershirt, one could still make out her curvaceous hips, and cc-cup breasts.

Their father spun around so fast it almost looked unnatural, "Because!" His excitement was coursing well over nine thousand, "An old friend in training of mine is coming to Nerima! Oh, don't you see!? This is a happy occasion!" His daughters didn't share the same sentiment as him though.

"Oh, I do wonder what wondrous fortunes this old man has to grace us with," Nabiki said with a coy smile, the pupils of her eyes rolling as if they were cash-machines before settling on green dollars, "Perhaps he's bringing money!" From her daddy's self-satisfied chuckle she almost thought that was the case. She needed more money! Money, money, money all money hers, and no one else!

"Ah, it's even better, dear!" The chief of the dojo said.

"What? Don't keep us in the dark daddy," Akane stated, now her curiosity was piqued.

He turned back around to gaze at the koi pool out back with his arms once again folded behind his back, feeling assured his dream would come true, "Ah, yes, of course dear. My old friend Saotome is finally returning with his son in tow. Isn't that wonderful?" His blue haired daughter was looking at him with a bewildered expression on her face.

"I don't get it!" Akane snapped heatedly, "Why is that such a big deal papa?"

"Because Saotome and I have arranged a marriage to take place involving one of my lovely daughters and his sensible well-mannered lad," His explanation left Akane staring at him as if he had grown a second head.

"What?" She raged, her second oldest sister schooling her features to remain cool headed, "But we don't even know who this Saotome or his son is, daddy!"

"Nonsense! You won't have to, I'm sure he's a fine lad!" He chirped optimistically.

"It could be… beneficial to have another boy around here," Nabiki seemed to contemplate this in a cool fashion, her ever observant eyes not missing the flinch of her father, "What is this mystery boy like daddy?"

As the patriarch of the Dojo let out a guffaw, the money-loving young woman was filled with hope that he knew something about this young man, something interesting and beneficial so she could make more money for herself, "Ah," He sighed, seemingly bliss, until he turned his head over his shoulder, a calm, pensive look on his face, "I don't know," Nabiki's hope was squashed like an ant underneath a giant's feet, "I've never met the lad."

Wait. The hell?

"What the hell daddy? How can you not know anything about the boy who you say one of us has to marry!?" Akane screeched, causing her father to wince, "Do you even know his name or did your friend forget to write that in his letter?" She pouted, crossing her arms underneath her bosom.

"Oh, of course, of course!" He hurried, spinning around rather nervously in the face of his daughter's growing ire while his other daughter watched in amusement, "Why, Saotome made sure to put the lad's name down right here in this letter!" He held out the letter to the peering eyes of his daughters.

The letter: _Hi_ _Tendo, old friend, bringing Ranma from China. See ya soon. _

From the letter, they could tell this Saotome person obviously wasn't big on handwriting since it just looked like scribble. It was almost a mystery how he even managed to write coherently enough to even manage to put that much on the letter.

When the girls looked up, they found their father's grin threatening to split his face in two, "See!" He stood tall with an air of self-assurance about him, "His name's Ranma, dear, and I'm sure he's a fine young lad! After all, I have faith that Saotome raised him well," He nodded to himself.

"Well I'm not marrying him!" Akane grumped.

"B-But Akane-dear," He pleaded in desperation.

"I said no, daddy!" Akane thundered, causing her father to whimper.

"Of course little sis wouldn't want to marry someone who isn't Uzumaki," Nabiki said offhandedly, more in a way to tease her little sister, a mission of which she succeeded in since she blushed before quickly looking at her with anger in her eyes. Nabiki also idly noticed her father cringed at the mention of Naruto. Oh it was just so thrilling playing with their emotions.

"Nabiki! I don't even like that idiot!" Akane shouted reflexively.

"Oh? Do tell how that may be, little sis. I suppose trying to make him dinner doesn't show him your feelings," The sarcastic/sadistic teen retorted, causing the blush on her sister's cheeks to redden, "No, that wouldn't be the case. You're probably just jealous of big sis."

Akane looked away from Nabiki, "Not everyone thinks the world revolves around boys," She said, a small pout on her face, "Why should I care who's cooking that jerk wants to eat anyway?!"

A sadistic smile crossed Nabiki's features, "Oh. Then I suppose you wouldn't care what my sources say they saw one Uzumaki doing… who should I say, _with?_" From her sister's wiggling ears, Nabiki knew she had her attention, "They say he was spotted conversing with another girl in the park close to nine pm." She needed to say no more. Her little sis made it too easy for her to manipulate her.

Akane launched herself to her feet faster than a rocket taking off on its voyage to the sky, her arms tucked tightly at her sides, "Oh, that pervert!" Akane screamed with such a ferocious glare in her eyes, her father almost wet himself, "I don't care what he does anymore!" She stormed off.

"Akane-dear!" He tried, but was ignored, "Oh Nabiki-dear, how could you?" He cried melodramatically, "Now she'll never marry the lad!" He perked up when he realized he still had one daughter left, sitting right in front of him. She was all available. Even if Naruto would never allow him to pawn Kasumi or Akane off on some random ass boy whom they'd never met before that same privilege didn't apply to Nabiki. The two didn't really see eye-to-eye even if they did attend the same school.

Their relationship went along the lines of, "You don't mess with me and I won't kill you," From Naruto's perspective.

He looked at Nabiki with a chirpy smile on his features, "Say, I've been thinking, sinc-."

"No."

"W-What-? But you didn't even give me the chance to finish dear!"

"I hardly have any plans to surrender my future so you and an old man can achieve your end-all goal, daddy," Nabiki explained carelessly, feeling no remorse for the small wails she could hear coming from her father. With a shrug she picked herself up off of the floor, only to put herself down again but on her side in front of the television.

"But Nabiki-dear-."

"No means no, daddy!"

He flinched, turning away from his cold-hearted daughter to whimper at the sky.

How could he explain to Saotome that their dream was more than likely never going to come true?


	3. The Evil Genius in the Shadows

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Ranma 1/2 Oh man... the latest episode of Naruto was beastly as all hell. Motherfucking Tobirama-sama's easily my favourite hokage. He just raised a finger like a boss and reiatsu'd up, then big bro's like, "Tobirama." And he reiatsu'd up, destroying the ground around his feet. Damn. The Narutoverse really is comprehensively over the Ranma-verse in terms of power.**

**Minato, Hiruzen, and Tobirama could each be hailed as godlike if one of them stepped into that verse never mind Hashirama and Madara, and Sage of Six Paths Madara... shit.**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**The Evil Genius in the Shadows **

"See what I mean now? No sweat at all."

The blond-haired Super Saiyan lookalike said in a satisfied fashion, having easily sauntered to just outside of the doors leading to the Dojo with Kasumi by his side.

Dojo itself was quite massive and generally traditional of what one would expect of a legit martial arts dojo. It was surrounded by four walls on each side seamlessly connecting to each other to form a protective square. Even the entrance door was neatly shaped, with the ceiling pointing upwards like a cone. Just underneath the door was a sign with golden kanji engraved into the rectangular-shape sign bearing the meaning 'Tendo-Dojo' in the aforementioned Chinese characters.

Kasumi giggled, conceding to Naruto in this matter, though she seemed reluctant to do so, "Well you're not sneezing, so I'm happy about that. But If I hear from Akane-imouto that you have missed school tomorrow because you came down with a slight flu, I won't be happy with you, young man," The demure-lady _attempted_ to come off as stern, but unfortunately for her, strictness was not her cup of tea, evident by the fact she merely came off as mildly rigorous with a bland look on her unusually unsmiling face.

Naruto frowned, squinting his eyes. He really hated school, it was boring, but apparently the people in charge of the United States of America told him it was mandatory for all young men around his age to attend school in any country, and that if he didn't go, he could end up getting taken to court. The reincarnated Ashura didn't care about that but he felt if he didn't go, then he wouldn't have gotten his flat.

So his hands were basically tied.

Besides, Naruto figured he'd _say _he was going to this Japanese school known as Furinkan High to get the guys whom got him a life over here to shut up, then just not go to school. In other words, play hooky, all day, every day of the week – just like he used to do when he was in the academy.

He would've had like a trillion tardy slips up the wazoo if it wasn't for Kasumi, who sent Akane to retrieve Naruto from his apartment every morning. At first the blue haired young woman despised picking up Naruto from his home, but further down the line it became a mere annoyance at worst and a minor inconvenience at best.

The youngest Tendo seemed to tolerate playing escort for Naruto.

"Fine!" Naruto sulked; he could never find it in him to deny the sweet young lady, "I'll be at _school _tomorrow with Akane-chan."

"Don't frown. You'll get wrinkles," Kasumi advised sweetly, and it was at times like these which left Naruto second guessing whether or not Kasumi was benevolently reprimanding him or simply offering him a suggestion. So the blond just hummed, trying to put his new scowling mask of annoyance on which he had developed after shortly arriving in America and lamenting on his loss to Kaguya, but he could never truly be angry in Kasumi's presence.

At best Naruto looked slightly miserable as Kasumi smiled beside him, tugging on his damp sleeved arm a bit as if it would jump start the enthusiasm back into him. Naruto understood that she was prompting him to move forward, and obliged willingly, the two venturing over to the front door of the dojo.

Despite having five shopping bags in each of his hands, Naruto was still able to open the door with his elbow, before taking a step to the side to disconnect himself from Kasumi.

"Ladies first."

"My, you're quite the gentleman Naruto-kun." Kasumi complimented with a small smile. She only received a simple shrug as a response from her blond helper.

"Meh, I try, anyway."

"Well, I think you're succeeding." Kasumi assured positively, causing Naruto to puff his chest out a little to display some pride in his mature chivalrous achievement. Though an enquiring expression formed on his face from the frown developing on Kasumi's, "Though I do wish you would go in first. You're getting soaked. But I suppose we would be out here all day if I suggested that."

And Naruto wasn't going to sugar coat it with the rain saturating his form once again since he had left the protective shelter of the umbrella. He just nodded his head with gusto, "Hmm-mmm. Amen." Kasumi could only sigh docilely, then ambled into her home followed by Naruto, whom knocked twice on the wall to let the others know Kasumi had returned.

Kasumi just removed the umbrella from above her head and folded it up, hanging it up on a coat rack.

"W-."

"Ohhh! It must be Ranma!"

Kasumi and Naruto shared a glance with each other upon hearing Nabiki's rather excited voice cut in right before Naruto could announce their arrival. From the odd looks on their faces mirroring each other's ones, it was easy to tell the two wondered why the middle Tendo sibling knew a person they had only met today.

Once Kasumi's first younger sister slid into view, desired wish not fulfilled was the very textbook definition of Nabiki's disappointment, not that she let it show. The stoic business-esque woman immediately schooled her features at seeing who had really journeyed into the residence of the Tendos.

"Oh. It's just big sis, with Uzumaki."

"Were you expecting someone else?" The blond queried. Rhetorical question aside: the lone wolf of the Uzumaki clan darkened his glare as if he was sticking strictly in the bad cop persona.

"Oh. Do take a wild guess, Uzumaki," Nabiki recommended, none too nicely either. The she-devil took sadistic pleasure upon seeing Naruto intensity his glare at her, as evident by the fiendish smirk on her face.

"Nabiki! You're being rude!" Kasumi lectured, only getting a cheeky tongue from her younger sister, making her sigh.

But before the oldest sister could turn to offer her thoroughly annoyed friend her trademark smile with an added spice of shyness, a chirpy voice rang out through the air, "Ah! Saotome, Ranma-kun, lad, so you've both came! What a joyous occasion this is! Come Saotome, we shall celebrate the beginnings of a wondrous future with a bottle of sake and game of shogi!" The Tendo patriarch cheered, walking into view from around the corner, his cheery expression turning into a curious one at the sight of Nabiki's deadpanned stare while the girl just lazily pointed to _who_ had actually walked in.

His happy expression fell completely at the sight which greeted him.

"Oh! K-Kasumi-dear, U-Uzumaki-kun… Uhm! Ah. W-What a p-pleasant surprise i-it i-is to see you, Uzumaki-kun," He said in sheer nervousness, only getting a smile from his eldest daughter, which he couldn't take pleasure from with the deadly glare from the blond-ninja aimed in his direction.

He gulped, backing up slowly.

Uzumaki was even scarier than _him!_

"Ranma, huh?" Naruto more or less growled out in a dangerous tone.

"_Ya have sum nerve pickin' my fiancée fer' me, yer old fart!_"

It was easy to put the pieces of the puzzle together just from remembering the young woman's words from earlier. Why else would Soun Tendo be so chirpy about the arrival of a 'quote-on-quote' _lad _Naruto highly doubted he even knew, if that was the case? Unless it was Soun's lucky day, being that there were two Ranma Saotomes, but that just seemed utterly improbable.

Naruto could buy the sheer coincidence of him and Kasumi running into a female Ranma, while a next Ranma, presumably male, made his way to the Tendo dojo, of course. There was a slight chance in life that at times one may run into another with the same first name as him/her, but running into someone with both the same first and last names as you?

Not a snowball's chance in hell.

"It's not what you think lad!" Soun implored.

"Really?!" Naruto queried in a feigned chirpy tone, "Alright. Educate me why don't you, _teach._" The smart-mouthed shinobi's quick wittedness left the frightened Soun fumbling for an answer.

What happened next anyone would think a black cat crossed Soun's path, "Turns out an old friend of daddy's has a son that the old man and daddy planned to get either myself, little sis, or big sis to tie the knot to," His unmerciful daughter happened, straight up telling the already angered Naruto of her father's plans involving either her or anyone of her siblings with utter disregard for her father's well-being.

If anything Nabiki seemed to take pleasure in her father's misery.

That was even enough for Kasumi of all people to break her bland exterior she had developed as a defence mechanism whenever controversy erupted in the Tendo Dojo. How could their father plan to marry one of them off to an immature _woman _no less without ever informing them to let them know they had a choice in the matter, and that they wasn't being forced into this?

"Nabiki!" Soun cried. He should have paid her. That would've kept her mouth shut real good. Too bad it was too late now, the damage was already done. From his daughter's smirk of condescension it was clear Nabiki held herself with an air that clearly said she was better than everybody else.

"Soun, you asshole!" Naruto raged, tussling at the cowering Soun.

Lady luck actually decided to cut Soun some slack, "Naruto-kun, please calm down," In the form of his lovely eldest daughter, Kasumi, who was still very much calm despite the drama threatening to escalate to the infinity and beyond.

Naruto gave off a low snarl at the pitifully wailing Soun, who was shielding his face with his hands, before Naruto just pouted, shifting his head away from Soun's direction with his bottom lip sticking out, "Humph. Fine."

Soun calmed down, his hand on his heart. He could conspicuously feel the thumping of his heart pounding away at his chest as if it was looking for an escape. He breathed in and out more deeply in an attempt to soothe his stress-filled heart, "Thank you very much, dear," Soun said with a teary-eyed expression.

Kasumi just smiled, "Father, is it true?" Soun stiffened, gulping hard while his beautiful daughter carefully worded her question, a finger lightly caressing her chin, "What Nabiki-imouto said, that you plan to marry one of us off to a younger woman?" Nabiki pocketed that info immediately.

"Kasumi-dear! How could you say such a thing my lovely daughter?" Soun bawled in exaggeration with a waterfall of tears running down his eyes. Kasumi's smile turned a tad sheepish at the glaring Naruto, while her father continued to have himself a good cry. Funnily enough, Kasumi referring to Ranma as a female was lost on the man. He was just trying to take the easy way out.

"Big sis, if I may," Nabiki said, bringing the attention of Kasumi and Naruto onto her, "You say Ranma's a girl, so I have to ask did you and Uzumaki run into him… or her, because from what daddy says, I was getting the picture that Ranma was a 'he'." Soun looked towards his second daughter with a face full of shock.

"W-What? B-But t-that can't be dear! Saotome said-," Soun stalled, hastily drawing the letter from his karate gi top to desperately scan its contents for definite proof of Ranma's masculine gender. The only proof Naruto could see was Soun's trembling hands telling him he wasn't going to finish his sentence.

But someone did, "The old fool's said he's bringing 'Ranma' down daddy; he didn't specifically state what gender she was in any way, shape, or form," Nabiki rebutted coolly. That was made even more evident by the fact that the name 'Ranma' wasn't a male-oriented name, unlike the name 'Naruto', which was used exclusively for Japanese-males.

Soun lowered his head, dropping his arms, with his fingers falling loose and freely releasing the letter his old friend had sent him, "But Saotome…"

"It's true father," Kasumi promised gently, a smile on her face, "Naruto-kun and I met Ranma-chan not too long ago. She was a very well-mannered young lady," Hearing the confirmation from Kasumi made Soun fall into a pit of despair, "Although Naruto-kun and I never saw a nice middle-aged man with her, only Mr Panda."

"Unless the old man was the panda in disguise or something," Naruto mumbled, yet the anguishing Soun had already zoned everything else out.

How could this be? First his youngest daughter stubbornly refused to take him and Saotome up on their offer to join Saotome's 'son' in holy matrimony, which was quickly followed by his middle daughter also heartlessly leaving Soun's request hanging. Now this! His oldest daughter, and the one who was least likely to marry Ranma even if (Ranma) he… she was of a male gender due to her overprotective friend clarified that Ranma was a girl. Oh! How could fate be so cruel!? Waa! Why?

He and Saotome had spent so much time together, developing not only their skills, but also their bond through the many ordeals they undergone, with only each other to lean on to soldier through the gruelling, tortuous, demoralizing, and humiliating 'training exercises' they were subjugated to.

Why - It was only natural that the two had planned to settle down with a couple of nice women, have children with their wives, breed a male and female heir/heirless for their respective schools, and marry off their son and daughter to emerge their schools.

It meant so much to Soun who had worked so hard to build his legacy, to see it carried on by a strong and powerful heir, but now, his dream was truly shattered, like shards of a broken cup.

"Saotome…" Darkness claimed the sad-stricken patriarch, and without his conscious to work his body muscles, gravity began working against his body.

"Father!" Kasumi fretted, seeing Soun dropping pitifully to the ground in an unconscious heap.

"Pathetic!" The blond haired blunt shinobi blurted out.

"Naruto-kun!" Kasumi scolded.

"What? What'd I say, Kasumi? I'm just being honest!" Naruto whined.

"That maybe so, but you shouldn't be so rude to someone who has just fainted. What if father's really hurt? He might be really hurt Naruto-kun," Kasumi was clearly worried over her father's mental state, and rightly so, considering the fact her mother was no longer in the picture, god bless her soul.

Naruto seemed to contemplate this with a long drawled out drone and squinted eyes, all the while still taking notice to Nabiki's mocking grin, "Hmmm, I think he'll be okay in the long run, but I'll take him in the living room to lay him down or something. Just lemme put these bags in the kitchen."

Kasumi nodded, staying strong regardless of keeping a fretting eye on her unconscious father, "Thank you." Naruto began ambling to the kitchen.

"No probs," The laid-back young man said in an easy going manner, ambling forward to the kitchen after stopping to glare at Nabiki and her sadistic smile, something which made Kasumi sigh.

Naruto stopped again. He hadn't even made it to the kitchen before finding his school friend standing in between the space separating the living room from the back garden, "Hmm?"

"Naruto," Akane mumbled with an expression of uncertainty on her face.

"Hey, ChiChi! Goku's home now," Naruto joked with a cheery, cheeky fox-like smile on his face.

XxX

(Flashback)

"_Oh. Then I suppose you wouldn't care what my sources say they saw one Uzumaki doing… who should I say, with?" From her sister's wriggling ears, Nabiki knew she had her attention, "They say he was spotted conversing with another girl in the park close to nine pm."_

XxX

(End of Flashback)

XxX

With Nabiki's words constantly running through Akane's head, it left the young woman unsure of how to approach one of her closest friends. Shyness and awkwardness were a pair of jerks to her, but usually when she got like that she would fall into her comfort zone: anger. So with that in mind Akane flared her temper.

"Oooo! Where have you been mister?!" Akane interrogated heatedly, clamping her hands on her hips.

"Wah!" Naruto recoiled in a goofy fashion.

But Akane wasn't willing to cut him any slack, "Don't play dumb with me, jerk, you know what?" Akane marched up to Naruto, grabbing a chunk of his white t shirt, "Who she is, you pervert?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about damn it!" Naruto yelled crossly, squinting his eyes, but this time in annoyance instead of curiosity, or as a form of disapproval. He loved his friend, he really did, since she'd been good to him during his time in Nerima, but she really needed to learn to control her fiery temper. Also, she really needed to quit being so irrational.

Akane was still trying to burn a hole through Naruto's head with a heat-vision-esque angry stare, "You liar!" Stretching her unoccupied arm back, Akane clenched her hand into a fist, before letting out a war-cry, "Ha-yah!" She threw a punch at the blond.

But the fox-faced shinobi was too slick for her, as he effortlessly rolled his head to the side, resulting in Akane's fist sailing past his cheek, before not only slipping from her hold, but also getting behind her so fast it resulted in Akane losing her balance. She had some elegance, but she wasn't a prodigy in agility.

Akane fell to her knees.

"I don't have time for this," Naruto griped. Hearing those words leave Naruto's mouth were like a sudden wake-up call to the blue haired young woman who felt a sharp pang of sadness swell up inside of her. Once again she used her sheer indignation as a defence mechanism to avoid having to deal with the sadness.

"You know what you are? A jerk!" Akane screeched, shooting up to her feet and racing away from Naruto, who turned his head over his shoulder, getting a glimpse of her retreating back with a low-sprinted expression on his face.

She _was_ one of his closest friends, but their relationship really was one roller-coaster of emotions.

That was just another reason to hold contempt for Soun.

"Akane-chan."

XxX

"Hmm?" Kasumi hummed from where she sat on her knees perched up against the wall trying to comfort her father, only stopping momentarily when a distressed Akane came sprinting past her as fast as she could.

"I hate boys!" Akane wailed stressfully, disappearing out of the view of her sisters.

"Seems little sis is having trouble controlling her man," Nabiki stated mercilessly, with the ruthless young woman's eyes going half lidded, and a grin of self-satisfactory playing across her lips, 'Oh, little sis, I do enjoy how easy you make it to play the game.' That just meant more money for her, and her alone.

"Oh Nabiki-imouto."

XxX

(In the Meantime - Kitchen – Naruto)

XxX

"Ugh," Naruto grunted, resting the shopping bags on the side of the kitchen counter just underneath the cupboards he knew the food was settled in. The Tendo dojo's kitchen was a rather small, humble room, with blue painted walls, a water-heater perched on the wall next to the sink, right next to the back door, a white small fridge with a matching freezer placed underneath the counter Naruto had set the bags upon, that one being next to the entrance.

The kitchen didn't have a main door, barring the one leading to the back-garden, per say, just a few white thin flaps, but at least Soun was able to afford a washing-machine. Opposite to where the fridge and the freezer were perched was a built-in oven complete with a electric stove. And lastly, there was a medium sized bin by the door.

"Aw, Man! Is my luck rotten or what?" Oh, the Irony, and he knew it to be. Naruto _usually _had pretty good luck, which explained how he was able to swiftly win back the money his ass of a tutor had spent off by receiving a free lotto ticket from some guy and hitting jackpot in one fell swoop, "Whoopee doo," The blond shinobi moaned despondently.

Putting his friendship troubles aside for the time being Naruto trudged back out of the kitchen and into the hallway where Soun had fainted, finding his friend resting against the wall, observing her father with worrying brown orbs. Nabiki clearly had her fill of entertainment at the expertise of others, because she was nowhere in sight with her 'chakra-signature' settled upstairs, as Naruto's godly senses would tell him.

"K. I'm back." Naruto announced casually, spooking Kasumi.

"Naruto-kun," Kasumi said, regaining her composure and looking in his direction, "You frightened me."

"My bad," Naruto intoned apologetically, his trademark mischievous grin crossing his features. Carefully, though, he simply bent down, and effortlessly lifted the unconscious Soun off of the ground, positioning the man on his shoulder as if he was a sack of potatoes.

Despite seeing a super human _easily_ pick up her father, a full grown man no less, like he was a baby, the demure lady took it all at face-value, delicately picking herself up off of the ground with a sagely smile on her face.

"I think… you and Akane-imouto had another argument." It was more of a statement than a guess, but Kasumi was just too politely traditional to call Naruto out in such a blunt manner.

Naruto let out a wince of exasperation, rubbing the back of his head, "Aw, it's nothin' I swear! Akane-chan was just jumping the gun thinking I was with another girl! No girl even wants me 'cause they think I'm a gaijin, the jerks! You gotta believe me!" He Implored.

"It's only because Akane-imouto cares about you, Naruto-kun," Kasumi said softly, "I think you know that as well as I do, don't you?"

"I do?"

Kasumi nodded, clasping her hands together, and neatly holding them below her wrist, "She doesn't mind going to your apartment in the morning to make sure you get to school on time."

"She doesn't?" The oblivious young man asked with his arms folded across his chest, tilting his body to the side in a way so Soun didn't end up dropping off of his shoulder. He got confirmation from Kasumi's nod, "Ah. I always just figured she had to come get me 'cause you made her, or something."

Kasumi gently shook her head, no, "I asked her. At first she… complained," She explained a tad hesitantly, not wanting to speak ill of her little sister. She smiled again, "It didn't take long for Imouto to get into the swing of escorting you to school. She likes doing so. My. I hardly even need to remind her anymore."

"Uhm." Naruto mumbled, not sure how to feel about this new revelation brought to his blind self, "You don't say," He was conflicted. On one hand, he just wanted to find Akane, give her a hug, and cheerfully say, "Thanks for looking out for me Akane-chan! You're awesome!" But on the other hand, did he deserve Akane's kindness?

Naruto was not a deep thinker, no way, Jose. His friend Kurama could effortlessly supply to anyone that Naruto's head was about as empty, and as silence as the sewer the mighty Biju used to live in. This time was an exception. The blond felt guilty accepting Akane's kindness, or even having her as a friend knowing he failed all of his old friends and comrades back in his home-world.

"Oh, of course," Kasumi just continued in the same pleasant cheery tone as she started with, though dropping it when she noticed the deep pensive expression on Naruto's face. With a voice laced with concern, she asked, "What's wrong? You don't seem happy about that?"

"It's not that I'm not happy, it's just…" Naruto stalled, his face scrunching up in exasperation. The phantom voices of his deceased comrades echoed throughout his head, haunting the already guilty blond with their painful, taunting words. Each voice varied from the dearly departed that were Naruto's comrades to the next but it all boiled down to the same fundamental question rolled up in its finest simplistic package.

"_Why couldn't you save us_?"

"'I'm a failure." Naruto answered their one and only question with the only answer he could muster, and the only one which made any sense to him with an air of dejection about him, 'I suck big time,' With a capital S.

He felt a sudden grasp on his whisker-marked cheek, the softness of the hand soothing him, if only slightly.

"Don't say that Naruto-kun. You've helped us a lot in the short time we've known you. I'm grateful… Akane-imouto's grateful," Kasumi said softly.

While she didn't have a clue why Naruto was calling himself a failure she wasn't going to stand for it either. If it wasn't for Naruto then to this day Akane would be still casually defending herself from a bunch of… boys with out of control hormones, all with the illusion that if one of them had somehow defeated her, then Akane would surrender her hand in marriage.

Or at the very least one of them could call himself Akane's illegitimate boyfriend. Whatever works.

Of course a dozen of normal school boys pitted up against a mildly super-powered martial artist stood not a ghost of a chance of even touching her. It was the equivalent of a homeroom kindergarten teacher being forced to beat on her rampaging toddler-students to settle them down.

They were nothing but tenacious to the martial artist who held back on them to avoid crippling them, which only came to bite her in the behind since disabling the gang of boys was time-consuming. It was often a struggle to make it to class on time.

Whatever Naruto did to stop them he did well. The blond flexed his power, intimidating them like no police officer could.

They never bothered Akane again.

"Hmm. I suppose so," Naruto somewhat agreed with his eyes squinted, getting the nod from Kasumi before he pivoted on his heels to carry Soun off to the living room.

Kasumi followed him into the living room where she watched him place her sleeping father on the floor.

"Look, I'm gonna head on home. I need the rest. Don't worry about your old man here. He'll be fine after he gets some shut-eye," Naruto said nonchalantly, standing up after resting Soun on the ground.

Kasumi nodded, relieved that her father was going to be okay, though somewhere in the recess of her mind she couldn't help but be saddened that Naruto wasn't staying for dinner, "Oh? Won't you be staying for dinner, Naruto-kun?" Kasumi enquired quietly.

"I'll pass," Besides with how much Kasumi carried when she went shopping on her own they would need all the groceries they could save, "Got stuff to do, anyway. Maybe next time, alright?"

"Oh. Okay. I understand. Take care of yourself, Naruto-kun," Kasumi advised in her patented gentle fashion, getting a nod from Naruto, yet the blond young man kept on staring at her. From the look he was giving her, it was like he was expecting something from her, but for the life of her she couldn't make out what, "Yes?"

"My Jacket." Naruto mumbled, levelling a half-lidded stare at the gasping Kasumi, "You're like… you know, 'till wearing it."

"Oh my," Kasumi said, and despite the rush, the woman still purged Naruto's jacket from her person in a dignified manner, neatly folding it up, and hanging it over her arm, "Here you go."

Naruto frowned at the way Kasumi held out his jacket to him, "Really?" He deadpanned, taking his jacket from the smiling young woman, "You're not a servant, Kasumi," Naruto stated, coolly putting on his jacket and straightening it out in a boss-manner. He idly took notice to Kasumi's smile before turning around and tossing a wave over his shoulder.

"Well, it's been real. Later."

"Farewell Naruto-kun."

XxX

(Elsewhere – Dojo Hall – With Akane)

XxX

"Ha-yah!"

The sounds of Akane's notorious battle cry thundered, shaking even the mightiest heavens, as her hand came plummeting down on a training stone, effortlessly snapping it in two as if it was a mere wooden twig. The loud, obnoxious sound of shattering concrete rang out and went hand in hand with Akane's war cries.

Setting up another brick for utter annihilation she kept stacked up with the others on two thick bricks lay on the ground, and set a few inches apart from each other so they could act as a makeshift stand for the stone she wanted to destroy, the aspiring martial artist readied herself to do just that; decimate.

"Ha-yah!"

It felt good, it sounded sweet, the noise of a wrecking ball colliding with a solid brick wall and tearing through it like a hot knife through butter.

"Ha-yah!"

It was nice and exhilaratingly relieving chopping stoned chunks of bricks in half as easily as a normal non-super-powered martial artist cutting through a wooden board with his bare hand; though with how frail they would be without the additional training to make them somewhat super-human, Akane was sure their hands would be throbbing afterwards.

Not hers, though.

"Ha-yah!"

Her strength was quite impressive for someone who only participated in martial arts to keep in shape. Naruto figured her destructive power would at least be wall level plus, with Akane lacking in other areas, like speed, grace, agility, and overall battle prowess.

Thinking about her classmate almost brought a smile to her face as she brought her hand down on like the eighth stone she had shattered in two, although with noticeably less vigour than before but still more than enough to slice the brick in two. It was a toss-up with how she felt about Naruto.

On one hand she appreciated that he didn't flaunt his power in front of her, even when he flared-up his, 'power' to get the horny boys to cease with their stupid, pointless attacks on her, he actually downplayed it like it was nothing. Ironically, though, that just made her madder because she thought he was hiding something from her.

Naruto's lips seemed to be sealed as far as Akane could tell.

On the other hand it infuriated her knowing the strange powerhouse young man was holding back a whole lot of power in their spars, because even if she did not take martial arts as seriously as Naruto did, fact of the matter remained, she still trained hard to get as strong as she was. She wanted to be taken seriously, and recognized for her skill!

When Akane fought someone who she knew was purposely only using a mere fraction of his strength to go mano-a-mano with her, it felt like they were belittling her, even if they inflicted some bruises on her person.

It was insulting.

And she hated that.

She despised it!

It annoyed her to no end!

"Ha-yahhhhhhhhhh!"

And speak of the devil. Akane didn't even need to turn around to know who was standing behind her after he had made his presence known to her. She didn't even stop her training as she barked out a command in a grumpy manner, all in one smooth seamless motion, "Go away, Naruto! I'm busy!"

"Yeah. I can see that." Naruto mumbled, just loud enough for Akane to hear the awkwardness in his voice, 'Man! If she keeps on training the way she does, she's gonna be just as good, if not _better _than granny Tsunade ever was! Believe it. Haha.' Naruto chuckled in a silly fashion before cringing at the eruption of another poor stone.

"Y'know, you might wanna slow down, Akane-chan. You'll run outta bricks the way you're laying waste to 'em," Naruto said, trying to make pleasantry exchange with his friend as he ventured near her.

No dice. Akane was very anti-humorous, "I _don't _need your advice!" That was just like Sakura, but far more prideful.

That was disheartening to hear too, "Yeah." Naruto mumbled, watching Akane break another brick in half, rather unenthusiastically, "You're doing great though. Way to go, Akane-chan…" Naruto tried to sound excited, but getting the cold shoulder from Akane really drained him of any chirpiness.

Akane simply pouted the compliment off, seeing as Naruto could do more than this, thus it felt flat to her, "What do you want, Naruto? I'm busy in case you didn't get the message the first time." She told him grumpily, positioning another brick to shatter.

Naruto jerked his thumb in the direction of the exit, "I'm shooting off now, just wanted to let you know," He explained.

"Fine!" Akane grumped, chopping the brick in two, "I'll see you tomorrow!"

Naruto nodded, "Will you swing by mine so we can walk to school together?" He asked. That was what he really wanted to know. The thought of his friend not stopping by his place to drag his ass to school pegged at the lonely young man's mind.

"I'll think about it!" Akane offered nothing else as she went back to smashing bricks.

Naruto sighed, feeling disappointed he never got a definite answer, "Aw. That usually means no," He moaned like a kid who had been told he may or may not get ice cream on the way home, leaving the angered Akane to it by journeying out of the sliding doors leading to the open world.

When Akane was sure he was gone, she let her anger fade away, leaving a sympathetic expression on her face.

"Oh Naruto," She said, "Of course I'll pick you up, you idiot."

He may be an idiot, but he was her idiot at the end of the day.

xXx

(Nabiki's bedroom)

xXx

Be it woman's intuition or the fact her bedroom was positioned in a convenient spot, she had a pretty good view of the Tendo Dojo's back garden. She felt Uzumaki exiting the Tendo dojo, she saw Uzumaki distancing himself from the Tendo dojo, as he headed elsewhere.

As such the evil genius was already two steps ahead of the poor saps, planning on using them from the shadows so she could make more money. It was no secret that Akane and Naruto had a bond being that he was the first boy she'd known who had no interior motive to get in her panties like the other boys around Furinkan High School did. All the female-populace and most of the male-populace had already long-time figured-out that Naruto and Akane loved each other, but were they _in _love.

…That was another matter entirely.

Well, the clever Nabiki knew the answer to that, but no other sap did. The poor fools made it too easy for her to exhort them sometimes.

One side would argue Akane and Naruto were brother and sister in all but blood; those usually consisted of the male-populace speaking behind Naruto's back, and the other side concluded they were in love and that they would soon be together.

Ohhhh. The controversy was deliciously delightful and absolutely productive to Nabiki's mission to gain money for herself. The young woman was organizing betting pools on a monthly basis for 'pigeons' willing to try their luck guessing what day Akane and Naruto would officially be a couple within that time-span.

There was even a betting pool for young men and women willing to bet on the possibility of Akane's and Naruto's relationship falling flat on its face because Naruto was really some closet pervert in the disguise, with those often being the bane of Akane's existence. Naruto did give off the subtle hint that he was a pervert like every other boy in school.

"The betting pools of little sis and Uzumaki are a hit. With the way things are going with my betting pools, the profit coming in from them will even eclipse my usual income from Kuno-baby," That didn't necessarily mean she was going to suddenly stop using the illusion samurai-boy, second strongest in Furinkan High School with his destructive capacity scaled to fairly huge boulder-level, according to Naruto, Furinkan High School's finest warrior.

And little sis and Uzumaki will be none the wiser.

Nabiki finalized with a predator smirk.

XxX

(Zoo)

XxX

"Ah."

"We've done the right thing."

"Now Mr Panda can be safe from blond American maniacs."

"Yeah. He looks so at home as well."

"Mommy, Mr Panda looks sad. Why is that?"

"Oh dear, he's just play acting. Don't be silly."

*I'm not a panda.* The now dubbed Mr Panda majestically pulled out a sign from somewhere on his person, tears running down his eyes, while the civilians standing outside of his cage just seemed amazed at his ability to do so, *Let me out! Pandas everywhere order you to let me go!* He flipped his sign around to reveal more words.

"Wow, mommy! Mr Panda can talks!"

"He's so intelligent."

"Ha! He thinks he's people!"

"It's adorable!"

"Throw him some more bamboo sticks!"

Whether or not Mr Panda was really a panda or not was still up to debate, (so he liked to believe) he still greedily snatched the bamboo stick out of the air with his mouth and proceeded to chew on it, getting a round of applause from his audience for his skill.

*I have to get out of here so I can find the boy, and bring him to Tendo's. Our legacy's at stake here and m'boy can't be choosy about women anyway. It's win-win!* Mr Panda's sign read and he flipped it around to reveal more words, *But how to get out of here?* After a moment's thought he had an idea. He stood up to his feet and chucked that old sign away, setting himself in a stance. The crowd were left utterly amazed by the magnitude of a heavenly ocean-coloured glow encasing Mr Panda's body like a suit of armour, lighting up his eyes to make him look truly formidable.

He summoned up another sign from somewhere, *Saotome Anything Goes Special Attack!* The anticipation was mounting as the crowd held their breaths, waiting for the spectacular to happen at any given moment. That seemed to be the case when the Panda flipped his sign around, *Hadoken!* Only to launch himself head first into the steel bars.

He was pancaked to the ground of the confines of his cell with X's for eyes.

"Uhm. Mr Panda, are you okay?"

Silence reigned supreme as the stunned and disappointed audience eyed the knocked out panda, until a man decided to kick silence right off of its high throne.

"What a fail."

Enough said.


	4. Riding on Cloud Nine

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Ranma 1/2**

* * *

"Damn it. *cough* Why is the stench *cough* in here *cough* always so damn strong!? *Cough* Cough* *Cough*"

The blond-haired Uzumaki ranted, having left the hospitality of the Tendos and journeyed over to a small little hut-like shop around the back of a cheap fast-food restaurant known as Cluckin-bell and a bank building. For secrecy reasons the shop was built at the back and out of the sights of any passing civilians, more specifically, the fuzz.

Not that Naruto minded, but it sure was a bitch to have to squeeze through the space in between Cluckin-bell and the bank building in order to get to the shop. The guy who ran the establishment didn't seem to bear any problems fitting through the small given space to reach his shop, made all the more evident by the fucking Scooby Doo-like van sitting cosily outside of his shop. Seriously, how did he get that there? Whenever Naruto asked him about that he would just drone off with his stoned-look, the friggin' lazy-ass.

That aside Naruto could hardly make out a damn thing within the guy's shop, what with the smoke obscuring his vision and giving off a strong stench.

He was only able to clearly navigate his way over to the elevated step where a dark-skinned man sat on a beanbag due to the fact it was a small shop, with lots of loaded guns, such as pistols on one side of the wall, followed by submachine guns on the other side, and bazookas perched comfortably above the guy's head in the centre wall.

Other than those weapons of mass destruction there were some more illegal weapons, such as grenades, smoke bombs, pocket-knifes, the works, all settled in museum-like glass cases placed separate from each other so one could walk through the gap in between them as if they were in a convenience-store.

Once Naruto approached the single elevated step, the man lazing around merely lifted up his head, a roguish grin on his face with a spliff in his hand.

He had black stubble positioned on his chin, matching his messy sideburns, and thick, long dreadlocks stretching down past his shoulders. His eyes, while half-lidded, were clad in black sunglasses, the top part of his head was covered by a colourful rasta-hat. He flexed a golden chain around his neck, an orangey-yellowish short-sleeved t shirt clearly too big on his skinny posture, green pants, and white sneakers fitted on his feet.

"Yo, raclart; why ya not come visit me with yer little badman-self?" He asked in a Jamaican accent, giving Naruto a playful hit in the gut to which the blonde shrugged off.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean, Smokes? I do come here, damn it! It's just that you haven't had much work for me lately!" Naruto retorted indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest, "If you did, then I didn't hear about it from doc."

The nicknamed Smokes relaxingly sat back on his beanbag before taking a drag of his spliff, "So ya only come down when ya in need of di greens, yeah? You little wretch. Me understand, tho, money be tight these days, seen?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm up to my eyeballs in bills," Naruto said, stressing out at the mention of his aforementioned money problems, pulling at his golden-locks with a comical set of tears pouring from his eyes, "I can't even afford any quality ramen! Nope! All I can get is the shit kind from the gas station thingamajig!"

The Jamaican chuckled at the blond-assassin's quirks. For a mercenary for hire Naruto was odd, but Smokes couldn't deny he could get the job done. He was first recommended the blond when a regular of Smokes' sent Naruto over to pick up his batch of marijuana, not wanting to be caught in such a rough area of where Smokes had set up shop himself.

He was sceptical at first about hiring the blond, but his regular assured him Naruto was more than capable of getting the job done, so Smokes sent Naruto on an easy mission. Nothing major, it was just to see how he handled the ropes, and boy was Smokes wrong about the kid.

He was proficient.

Naruto didn't even use any guns, yet still had an impressive one-hundred percent successful mission-ratio, even went stacked up against adversaries who wielded guns.

The blond was something else star...

"One love, mon, ease up," Smokes said when he noticed his laughter of the blond had earned him his ire, "You're in luck, mon, me got a mission for you. Seen."

Naruto's eyes lit up, "Really?" Smokes nodded, and the fox-faced shinobi exploded with happiness, "Alright! Finally, another mission! I can get my hands on some cash, and-." He drooled out of the mouth, looking dramatically relieved, "-Chow down on some real ramen! Believe it!"

"Ease up, bredrin," Smokes said, recommending the blond to settle down. He took another drag of his spliff, then tucked it behind his ear.

Naruto gave him a sheepish smile, "My bad, I just can't help myself, y'know? I'm just so excited! Finally, I'mma get me some cash to eat! Just tell me the mission, Smokes, and leave it to me. I'll have it complete in no time flat!"

"Ah-rite bad-man, that's what me likes about you, mon. Yah get shit done, mon, seen," Smokes complimented, fishing around the back of his beanbag.

Naruto had a sunny smile on his features, "Yay, yay, Smokes! I like you too, you good people!" He felt confusion slip on his face when a scroll basically fell into his grip from how seamlessly he had plucked it out of the air, right after Smokes had thrown it at him, "What's this?"

Smokes kissed his teeth, unsheathing his spliff from his ear, "The mission, mon," Smokes took out a lighter from his pocket before using it to light up his spliff, taking a drag of It, "'Em facety triads mons be startin' trouble up on my turf, rude-boy."

"-And you want me to put 'em jerks in their places," Naruto interrupted with a sagely nod of his head, arms crossed over his chest.

Smokes nodded, "Bumbaclart mon, yer on fire! Teach 'em raclarts a lesson in humility!" Naruto was raring go, the blond smacking his fist into his palm for added emphasis, "One more thing tho, yer little bad-man. Word on the street 'em triads got a shipment of coke-."

"Say no more!" Naruto jumped the gun in a hyperactive fashion, causing Smokes to stare at him blankly, waiting for him to finish what he was going to say for him, "Woops," Naruto blinked in sudden realization, rubbing the back of his head in a sheepish manner, "Actually, say more. I really don't know where you're going with this, hehe."

"Me know ya firing to go, mon, seen. But ease up 'till me finish, bredrin," Smokes recommended, getting a nod from the rather happy-looking Naruto.

"Okay, I'm sorry, it's just…" Naruto wobbled about slightly, his eyes lowered in a half-lidded manner, complete with a dopey smile, "Whenever I walk in here, Smokes, I feel like I'm on cloud nine! Believe itttttt…" The cheery-stoned Uzumaki elucidated.

"Dat be di ganja goin' to yer head, rude-boy," Smokes explained.

"Is that it?" Naruto asked cheerfully, feeling like he was flying through the clouds, over to a big, massive pool of delicious barbeque pork ramen, "This place is the bomb! I should bring Akane-chan down here one day, she might even stop being mad, and all that at me."

"Yo, my man got himself a little girl on di side." Smokes complimented.

Naruto was visibly embarrassed, made evident by his rapidly flailing hands, "Ahhh! She's not my g-girlfriend, though I would like her to be," he chuckled bashfully, "She's like… best friend, you know?"

"Ease up, bredrin," Smokes recommended, "Me understand, seen? Ya got a little 'fren-ship goin' on with dis Akane-shorty, seen. Yah not wanna do anythin' to ruin dat bond between yah two, seen. Me see it." Naruto nodded his head in recognition of Smokes' rationalization of his relationship with Akane regardless of Smokes' accent. After chilling with his Uncle Bee and quickly grasping his rapping mechanisms, understanding Smokes' was the equivalent of taking a stroll in the park.

"But memba dis bredrin; just because yah not feeling her now, seen, don't mean yah won't in di near future. Yah got to keep an open mind, yah see it? Anythin' can change in due time. Seen? Yah need to Jus' keep di faith mon." Smokes advised, earning himself another nod of the head from the normally very optimistic young man.

Smokes, despite his flaws, was clearly a man of wisdom, who the blond looked up to, because he made things less awkward between them with how easy he could read Naruto, completing the puzzle of his mystery, before laying it out to Naruto in such simplistic forms even Naruto would never fail to understand them.

Most of all he told Naruto to stay aboard on the optimistic train.

"You don't need to tell me twice, Smokes!" Naruto assured with a confident grin.

"Ah-rite, bredrin; dat be the Naruto me used to seeing. Seen. Yah be a beacon of light for di people to follow, god bless," Smokes said, causing a forlorn look to appear on Naruto's face, with the blond shifting his head to the side so Smokes wouldn't see his pitiful expression.

Smokes almost sighed; even to his knowledge he could not grasp how such a powerful man had seemed to lose nearly all hope within himself, "Look, go along and get yourself some rest bredrin. Di shipment of di coke won't be here till tomorrow anyway, seen? Me want yah to run up in dey' and storm di place. Afterwards bring di coke to area 12. Bad-man be waitin' dey to take it off your hands, seen?"

Naruto smiled faintly at the mention of Smokes' partner-in-crime, "Ah! How's Uncle Four-eyes doing? How comes he isn't here? Is he on a job or something? I figured he would be here you know."

"Yeah, Bad man is ah-rite. Ease-up, bwoy."

Naruto nodded chirpily, "Okey-dokey! I best be hitting the road! I got… _school_ tomorrow, and Akane-chan may or may not pick me up," He said, sounding noticeably less happy, and more grumpy, his bottom lip sticking out, "So I need to hit the sack. Tell Uncle Specs I said hi, will-ya?" Naruto spun on his heels, slowly beginning to raise his arm to toss a wave over his shoulder.

"Hold up, bwoy," Smokes urged, halting Naruto in his tracks, a curious expression coming to his face upon finally seeing the lazy smoking man sit up straight.

"Yeah. What's up, Smokes, ya need anything?" Naruto asked in a inquisitive tone.

"Yeah. Me gonna say it was a good thing yah came over when yah did, 'cause your teach rang me earlier, seen. Said something about needing another ounce of ganja and dat I need to send yah, bwoy, down to school with a twenty next time I be seeing yah. Seen?" Smokes explained, rising to his feet with a groan while Naruto absorbed the information.

Naruto let out a noise of understanding, "Doctor Crazy pants finished his stash already? But the last time I checked I delivered an eighty to him like two weeks ago. Damn. He's into that more than I am into ramen!" Naruto lifted up his shoulders in a shrug, "Oh well, just means more money for me."

"Ah-rite bwoy, dat's di way yah oughta be looking at life. Seen? Yah too bright to be down di dumps, see it? One day, me believes yah make sum'ady lucky to have yah. Me see it now. Gals already be throwing themselves at yah. Me betcha any amount of money yah be getting married in a minimum of six years, tops. When dat day comes just make sure yah invite Bad-man and I," Naruto let off a bark of laughter, slapping his knee for added emphasis. When he settled down, he answered his boss-like friend in a flippant tone.

"Don't worry, if that day comes, you and Uncle Specs will be the first ones on my invite list! I'll even be down here quicker than the flash. Believe it."

"Seen. Guess me can't call yah a rude-boy if yah gonna come down here personally to invite bad-man and myself to your wedding. 'Till, yah might want to consider getting yourself a mobile, see it? Dat way, bad-man or I can get in touch with yah quicker than usual, seen?"

"Yeah. I'm kinda flat broke at the minute. Once I get some money in my pockets, I'll consider buying one."

XxX

(Moments later)

"Later, Smokes! I'll see ya tomorrow."

"Galang, rude-boy!"

Stepping out of Smokes' little marijuana-scented shop, the cloudy sky now pitched black, Naruto now wielded a regular, nondescript looking sack bag over his shoulder. The whisker-faced shinobi gazed up at the misty sky, barely making out the oddly-placed silver crescent moon - to his eyes. In some ways, he was glad for the oddity that was the unfamiliar colouring of this world's moon. It kept his mind off of his old world.

Last thing Naruto needed was to be reminded of his failures.

Besides, Smokes would give him another sound lecture about riding the colourful rainbow of optimism and to steer well, and truly clear of the dark, lonely depression road to emo-town. Naruto didn't need to give that any thought. He liked looking at the brighter side of the spectrum all the time anyway. He was so drugged-up on confidence he naively believed nothing could go wrong for him at one point in his life.

Kaguya's victory over the blond-ninja had given him a different outlook on life.

Now he could say he was pragmatic in some sense.

"Hmm," Naruto contemplated, sensing the same Tenten-level of chakra he had met with Kasumi earlier on, "What's little firecracker 'till doing around here? I thought she said she was heading to China, or something," Squinting his eyes, the fox-faced, former leaf-soldier took a moment to think pensively on the matter relating to Ranma and her reasons for lingering around Japan when she stated she was heading off to China.

Naruto concluded thinking hurt.

"Oh well! It's not my problem! I'm sure she's fine."

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Riding on Cloud Nine**

* * *

xXx

(The Next Day - Tendo Dojo - with Kasumi)

xXx

"Hmm."

The matriarch of the Tendo Dojo was once again up bright and early keeping her father's home spick and span while humming such a delightful and peaceful tune even the chirping birds on the outside world would envy her to some extent. It was what she always did, ever since her mother had passed away, which resulted in her father having a collateral breakdown.

Poor father - Being the eldest daughter sometimes had its advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side of the spectrum Kasumi had the most memories of their mother, while Nabiki had some flashes of the good old days where (their) mom was still alive and Akane only one vague memory of those days where they were all together, as a family.

The poor dear's memory of that day was fuzzy at best.

There may have been a silver-lining in the lack of memories of Mom for Akane, that being she can't remember their mother well enough because she was not old enough at the time of her death to contain those memories. There for the loss of their mother affected the youngest Tendo significantly less than it did Nabiki and Kasumi, the latter of which took it the hardest.

Kasumi admired her mother for her benevolence and how she always seemed to be a pillar of strength even in the darkest of times. When she passed away, it took the tears of her father to calm Kasumi down.

As much as she herself was suffering inside from her role model's death she knew she couldn't cry anymore, not with her father on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Soun was already noticeably drained of any enthusiasm upon returning from his 'training trip' with his master and a fellow trainee, the death of his wife pushed him over the edge. Fortunately, his eldest daughter stepped into those massive shoes left behind by his deceased wife and picked up the mantle of looking after her family.

It was really difficult at first as Kasumi would kindly supply, but little by little she grew into her role of provider for her family. Her mother's cook book really worked wonders for her. Now cooking and cleaning for her family was as natural as breathing for the demure house-lady.

"Well, this is my cue to exit!" When Kasumi turned her head to the side at the sound of Nabiki's voice, followed by her hurrying footsteps, she found her little sister sprinting down the stairs dressed in a white short-sleeved blouse underneath a long light blue dress, with her feet clad in white socks. Once Nabiki hit ground-level, she slipped on her shoes that were positioned in the middle of Akane's and Kasumi's.

Kasumi paused, straightening her broom up to look at her little sister with innocent curiosity, "Leaving so soon?"

Once the front door was thrown open, Nabiki halted in her progress, turning her head over her shoulder, a cheeky smile on her face, "I'm trying to avoid Akane's lunch." Although a frown did occur on Kasumi's features, she did nod her head in acceptance upon hearing this, politely urging Nabiki to carry on with a small wave of her hand.

Nabiki didn't need a second invitation.

She was gone like the wind.

Another added responsibility Kasumi would benevolently see through to the end; teaching her youngest sister how to cook. Akane had a strong interest in cooking, she always had. The youngest Tendo, much like her oldest sister Kasumi, also shared the desire to be a traditional house lady, but often just came off as… unusual.

It didn't help matters when her best friend appeared to like her sister's cooking more than hers, even if he didn't outright say so. His facial expression was more than enough in this instance.

Turning her head back to the direction of the stairs at the sound of more descending footsteps, Kasumi gave her approaching youngest sister her signature smile of infinite kindness, "My, good morning imouto. Did you sleep okay?"

"I slept great oneesama!" Akane smiled brightly, her attire pretty much consisted of the one Nabiki was wearing, only with the additional blue wrist-high jacket.

Seeing Akane in such high spirits, Kasumi offered the girl a delightful drone with her ever-present smile glued to her face.

"Did Nabiki leave already?" Akane enquired.

"Yes," With her smile now off of her face, Kasumi attempted to explain Nabiki's reasoning for leaving without her in a way that wouldn't hurt Akane's feelings, "She said needed to see…" Akane tilted her head cutely to the side at her sister's slurring speech, "-The principal." A look of confusion adorned Akane's face, "Vice principal."

Akane made an O with her mouth before shaking her head, "That girl, she could've waited for me. Now she's gonna miss out on my cooking!" She smirked, "Well I guess that means more for Naruto!" She held up her hands, clenching them into fists, eager for the challenge to make a dish Naruto would enjoy, "This time I know I'll get the ingredients right!"

Kasumi could only offer her little sister another smile as she silently wished her (and Naruto) all the best.

XxX

(Elsewhere – Naruto's apartment)

XxX

Naruto's apartment wasn't anything out of the ordinary; just a simple nondescript two bedroom apartment. He had the barest necessities like a medium television, a cheap, second-hand white refrigerator, a white microwave - also second-hand - a used white stove, a white kettle, a white toaster, and a white cheese grill, all of which were bought second-hand.

In fact, almost everything Naruto owed barring the clothes in his (second hand) wardrobe was second-hand. From his single bed, to his single set of chest-draws, to his wardrobe, and to his living room furniture such as a single black two seated sofa, a coffee table, and a stand for his television. All of the blond's furniture had all been used before the blond had even laid eyes on them.

The moral of the blonde's dilemma was simply money was not easy to get your hands on.

Well at least his apartment was mildly furnished, so there was always that. Even now, at the crack of dawn or whatever time it was, Naruto was using one of his used-before-furniture to count ramen.

"_Zzzzzzzzzzzzz_…" Naruto snored loudly. Sprawled out messily on his single bed, with his orange sheets falling off of himself, which revealed his orange boxes, drool slid shamelessly out of his mouth, "Sixty-seven ramen, sixty-eight ramen, sixty-nine ramen, seventy ramen…" Naruto counted, mumbling his lips.

Not even the sound of rattling metal could arouse the blond from his slumber, or that squeaky sound his door made whenever he or someone else had ventured through his door, or the huff of an annoyed feminine voice - no, no, no, he wasn't getting up for the world-.

"Naruto!"

Wait. Was that Akane-chan he could hear?

"Naruto!"

There was her voice again, followed by the slamming of his front door, then the inevitable approaching footsteps.

"You'd better not still be in bed, knucklehead!"

At Akane's warning, Naruto drowsily reached for his sheets, drawing them over his head just before the inevitable light coming from his now open door could penetrate the darkness of his room.

A deep, mischievous snicker rang out inside of his head, "**Wherever you go, there's always one tsundere to keep you whipped, eh Naruto?**" Kurama said teasingly.

'As a memorial to Uncle Bee; shut up, fool,' Naruto mumbled back mentally, scowling at the mocking laughter of all the bijuus echoing throughout his head. He just knew he was going to earn Akane's fury for this one.

"Really?" Akane deadpanned, a handbag hanging from her left shoulder, and her fists hammered on her hips, "Do you plan on sleeping through the whole day?"

"Not here."

"Uh-uh. Then why can I hear your voice coming from underneath your bed as well as see your bare legs?" Akane pointed out with an expression as clear as day in the form of annoyance on her face.

The sound of the birds chirping in the distance was her only answer.

"Uh-uh. As I thought," Akane said, deepening her scowl, and stomping over to Naruto, "C'mon! School isn't going to be open all day, you have to get up!" She said in a demanding tone, grabbing the sheets on the blonde's bed in an attempt to pry them off of his person.

"No. Don't wanna!" Even though she couldn't see the deity level ninja's face the blue haired young woman was sure he was pouting underneath them while simultaneously keeping a tight grip on his blankets.

"Ugh! Quit being such a baby, Naruto!" Akane commanded, her face scrunching up with the excess force she was exerting in trying to tear the sheets off of Naruto.

"No! I won't! You're just gonna yell at me." Retorted Naruto, "Frankly, It isn't worth the effort. Not when I can just stay here and sleep all day, haha! Then I'll stuff my face with ramen!"

Akane abruptly quitted in her endeavour of relieving Naruto of his sheets, "I can't believe you!" She stomped her foot on the ground, "Fine! Stay here then! See if I care if you get detained! I'll be happily chowing on cooking better than ramen!" While she knew Naruto loved no food better than his precious ramen, she also knew the blond would take the bait.

Case-in-point Naruto finally threw the covers off of his head, revealing a tired look in his eyes, and his messy spiky Super Saiyan-blond coloured hair, "Eh?" Was Naruto's oh so intelligent response, "What are you talking about? No food's better than ramen!" He said with a dopey, roguish smile on his face.

"Then come to school and find out." Akane countered, hands back firmly on her hips.

Naruto's suspicious gaze fell upon his friend like a police officer eyeing a thief, "Oh no, you're trying to trick me. Aren't ya? Admit it! I got your number." Akane ended up rolling her eyes at her friend, "Besides that I ain't got time for school! If I go, I'll just end up getting an ear-full from you after I rearrange that loony samurai-guy's face."

"I wouldn't give you an 'ear-full' if you would just quit engaging upperclassman Kuno, Naruto!" Akane retorted.

Naruto sat up fully on his bed, crossing his legs, a frown marring his face. Akane simply ignored the fact that he was only in his boxes, "Hey! He starts it though," He grumbled sourly, "I mean if I don't deal with the guy he'll just keep on harassing the both of us!"

"Then just ignore him!" Akane suggested in a tolerance sort of manner, making the blond increase his frown.

That was her answer to everything; just turn a blind eye and blank the ones bugging you.

"That's a lot easier said than done, Akane-chan," Naruto said, feeling noticeably deflated, as noted by the sigh which escaped his lips.

Seeing Naruto's stubbornness put to rest for the time being, Akane allowed her anger to take a back seat for a patient, but otherwise stern expression, "Well you're going to have to try," Akane comforted, walking over to the side of Naruto's bed to take a seat nimbly, "Otherwise the teachers will eventually decide enough is enough and throw you out of school."

"Then what?"

"Well, you'd end up working in a fast food restaurant for minimum wage for one," Akane said with a smirk despite feeling righteous fury swell up inside of her at Naruto's nonchalant response to her warning of him getting booted out of school, "Then you'll never get the chance to leave this place." She gestured to all around them, "I'm sure you don't want that, do you knucklehead?"

He really didn't. The sharp look of realization that appeared on his face complete with widened eyes spoke volumes, "Mannnnn," Naruto drawled out, "I really wasn't thinking of that." The blond never thought. Never. And Akane knew that fact just as well as she knew the back of her hand, but besides that it seemed she was going to emerge victorious from this war.

"So are you coming to school?" Akane's smirk could've made Tsunade's proud.

Naruto sighed, resigning himself to his defeat, "Got no choice anyway. I sort of promised Kasumi I would be at school with you yesterday," He stated, lazily crawling off of his bed, and to his feet, "Just lemme have a quick shower and we'll be good to go, k Akane-chan."

"Good!" Akane declared triumphantly, basically allowing her adrenaline with her victory over Naruto to glide her over to the door, "It's a good thing I came over early, eh Naruto. Otherwise I don't think anyone would want to sit next to you if I had come over any later," Akane was just looking _too _innocently cheery now.

"Yeah. You're the best."

"Humph. And don't you forget it."

XxX

(Later)

XxX

Furinkan High School had its good points, but sometimes its low points, yet in this scenario one could find the blond moodily making his way to school with his friend in tow, not wearing the official school uniform of Furinkan High School, but his own personal clothes picked out of his wardrobe.

It was one of the finer things he could think positively about regarding his school, the fact that none of the teachers or the vice principal sought to make it a rule to wear school uniform. They tried to encourage students to wear their official uniforms, to which most seem to do, probably because they had strict parents.

Delinquents tended to show up in their street clothes more often than not, though, like Naruto, who wore a long-sleeved orange dress shirt, over a sleeveless white tank top, a pair of medium blue jeans, his old black shinobi toeless-sandals fitted neatly on his feet, and his eyes were clad in a pair of black sunglasses to help keep the bangs out of his eyes.

"Honestly," Akane groused out in a miffed fashion as she and Naruto sauntered alongside the canal. She idly noticed Naruto steal a brief glance at a redhead casually ambling on the thin fence prohibiting people from entering the canal, "Are you ever going to wear your uniform at least once?"

Naruto huffed, straightening his school bag coolly slung over his shoulder, his glare darkening in the direction of a familiar chakra signature, "Well she isn't wearing her uniform," He muttered like a kid who'd been told not to do something while another kid was doing the exact same thing but getting away with it.

Akane passed a blinking gaze at the redhead, but quickly returned her furious pout on Naruto, "That's not the point, Naruto!" Her screech elicited a flinch from the redhaired girl, who nearly fell off of the fence-line, but her expert balance held her up.

Once Ranma spun around, she ended up giving a certain whisker-faced gaijin a widen-eyed gaze, 'It's him,' She narrowed her eyes, a surly expression forming on her face with the remembrance of her earlier defeat at the hands of Naruto coming to her mind, 'Mr Big Shot, eh. Uhhhh, he can shove that fluke up his butt. It was nothin'.' Ranma told herself, crossing her arms.

When she looked back she found Naruto and his blue haired lady friend still approaching her, though with the way they were bickering back and forth Ranma figured they were anything but friends.

A devious idea formed in her head, 'Ahh. That could work,' She smirked, flicking the bridge of her nose with her thumb, 'Alright, Goldie-locks, it's payback time.' She took a deep breath, before bending down in a squatting position with her hand positioned on her cheek, trying to look innocent.

She even batted her eyelashes to feign a sparkling radiance of happiness.

Once Naruto and Akane stopped right by her, Naruto turned his head slightly away from his school friend, using his eyes to look up in the redhead's direction, "What do you want?" His tone clearly indicated he never had any time for this.

"Awww, I'm hurt Goldie locks. 'N here I thought we had such a deep connection," Ranma teased, 'Ack. I could'na been any cheesier had I packed down a truck load of the stuff. Man, I jus' hope the sap will be stupid enough ta fall fer my ploy,' Ranma mused, grimacing mentally.

"Huh? Goldie locks," Naruto said, looking unimpressed with Akane glancing at the two of them curiously, "Whatever happened to whiskers?" He didn't miss the small cringe the redhead in front of him underwent.

"It's either that or rat-face," Ranma expertly swayed away from the topic of whiskers potentially reminding her of one of her greatest fears, and in the process she received a glare from Naruto. Though that wasn't what caught her attention; it was the fuming of Naruto's blue haired lady friend.

'Sucker! Oh snap, I should get myself my own reality show with the roll I'm on. Now I jus' hafta play the waitin' game. Any minute now, 'n I betcha Miss Angry Pants will smack Goldie locks six ways ta Sunday!' Ranma boasted to herself.

"Aw, shut up!" Naruto commanded, turning away from Ranma. He was definitely not a mouse. If anything he was a mighty tiger, because that would piss off Kurama real good.

Naruto felt his glare slip off of his face at the sight of a raging Akane, "Hey, Akane-chan? What's up?" He asked in an inquisitive tone.

"Who is she?" Akane demanded with her hands stamped on her hips, giving the smirking redhead a pointed look.

'Worked like a charm!' Ranma grinned in a winning fashion, snickering.

Naruto just seemed confused by Akane's sudden anger, "What? Nobody!"

"Well she seems to know you real well!" Akane retorted.

"Oh, Me 'n Goldie locks are tight alright," Ranma spoke up, seeing this as her chance to put the final nail in the coffin. With a hop, the redhead fell nimbly from the fence to the annoyed glares of Akane and Naruto, "Ya can say we're closer than two buds can be," Ranma sent a suggestive wink at Akane, causing her to gnash her teeth and clench her fists.

Ranma just expertly tamed her laughter before it could erupt from her mouth to look in Naruto's direction, putting on her best seductive tone, "Right, _pal_."

"Damn it! Would you stop doing that?" Naruto yelled indignantly, and by this time Akane had lowered her head with her entire body shaking from the radiating fury coursing through her veins as if she was powering up.

Ranma blinked her eyes in mock innocence, "Whatever d'you mean lover-boy?" Throwing her head back, Ranma placed the back of her hand to her forehead to put on the pity act, "Aww, and I thought the magic between us meant more ta ya than a magic lamp with a genie in it ta grant ya any three wishes ya want too," She sighed in an obvious, overly dramatic way, "Guess I'm jus' another fish in the sea ta ya, eh Goldie locks."

"I knew it!" Naruto flinched at Akane's bellow, "Nabiki was right all along!"

"Akane-chan!" Naruto tried. Ugh. Nabiki was evil and Naruto knew it. But no one would believe him. To the people who Naruto was trying to reveal Nabiki's devilish nature to, he was like a small child crying wolf.

"Save it!" Akane sharply pivoted around on her heels, "You can stay here with your new friend and die for all I care! I'm going to school! Humph!"

"But wait! She's lying! I only met her yesterday with Kasumi! You gotta believe me! Believe me!" Naruto shouted in a pleading manner, but Akane just huffed and continued to march away from him.

Naruto immediately turned his irritation to the cause of this, "You bitch!" And Ranma was just grinning in a cocky fashion at him.

Well, she was smirking at him until she found herself on the receiving end of a forceful tackle so fast she couldn't even see the blond move. All she felt was her back slammed up against the fence with a ferocious Naruto staring fiercely at her with a raging fiery inferno in his eyes.

"It was a joke! A joke! Can't ya take a joke?!" Ranma yelped with a bead of sweat rolling down the side of her cheek. She could feel her feet leaving the ground with a pair of knuckles grinding into her chin, 'R-Rats! G-Goldie l-locks is strong! I… can't get him off of me!' Ranma thought with a strained expression on her face.

"I don't like being laughed at!" Naruto roared. With a twist of his heels, and an effortless pull of his arms, Naruto sent Ranma hurtling towards a brick wall like a full on missile.

"Kyaaaa!"

A shriek of terror erupted from Ranma's throat and tears flew from her eyes, before she exploded head first into the solid concrete wall, not only catching the retreating Akane's attention but also causing debris dust to scatter throughout the air.

"Huff, huff," Naruto wheezed, the rush of adrenaline leaving his system for the time being, "And stay down!"

"Naruto!" Akane stomped back over to Naruto with a pout, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Naruto folded his arms across his chest, his eyes squinted as his disdain for Ranma only grew, "She was asking for it I tell you!" He opened up his eyes to give the dispensing dust a scowl, "She was trying to make us go at each other's throats, Akane-chan!"

"Well you didn't have to throw her into a brick wall, dummy!" Akane shouted in a scolding manner, turning a worrying gaze to the victim of Naruto's merciless punishment, "You went too far, Naruto! What if she's hurt, huh? Ever think of that?"

Naruto let out a derisive snort, "So what? Who cares? The asshole deserved it!" As the dust settled to reveal a ferociously glaring and bruised Ranma, Akane released a contemptuous puff, straightening her head before walking away from Naruto, "What? What'd I do now, Akane-chan?" He complained, setting his eyes on the glaring Ranma.

"Damn you!" Ranma coughed out.

"Hey, are you okay?" Ranma gazed at the sound of Akane's sweet enquiring question to find Akane gazing down at her with a smile on her face. She reminded Ranma of that Kasumi-lady from yesterday, "I'm sorry about my knuckleheaded friend. He's just a grump, feel free to ignore him!" Akane suggested sweetly, bending down to offer the girl a hand.

Ranma blinked her eyes, doing a double take. She contemplated whether she should or shouldn't accept Akane's hand, because after all she did more or less gloat in front of her that she and Naruto were an item.

'I think I'm gonna barf,' Ranma thought. Rats, she degraded herself to flirt with a jerk of _masculinity_ *gagging sounds* and for what? To get her ass jammed into the wall like a pancake! This blows!

"Huh?" Akane said, a little deterred with Ranma's response, or lack-of, she should say.

Ranma blinked her eyes one more time as if it was like an imaginary pinch to make sure she wasn't dreaming, "Oh," Ranma returned with a sheepish grin, putting her hand on Akane's one, 'Guess I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.' Akane smiled, pulling the redhead to her feet in such an effortless manner, it proceeded to leave a surprised, bizarre expression on Ranma's face, 'Yikes, that's sum arm she's got. Is she like the she-hulk or sumthin'?'

"Sorry," The apologetic-sounding Akane laughed awkwardly, waving her hand in a placating gesture in the hopeful attempt she could ease the tension off of the redhead's shoulders, "My friends say all the time that I don't know my own strength."

"I'll say," Naruto mumbled nonchalantly in the background, yet was ignored by the two ladies.

"Meh. No biggie. I can hack it. No problemo!" Ranma assured confidently, but cringed from a surge of pain which coursed through her body, "Kyaaa!"

"Be careful!" Akane recommended more harshly than she had originally intended, while she steadied the redhead by taking her arm and swinging it over her shoulder, "You still haven't recovered from a certain… _someone's _throw," She growled with an emphasis on the word 'someone' while giving a glare in that _someone's _direction, "Just take it easy, okay!"

"Yeah, good lookin' out," Ranma said in a rather weak dejected tone of voice, 'Aw, man! This blows! How could I let Goldie locks wreck my ass this bad!?' If Pop ever found out she had got her shit wrecked in he would be so disappointed, 'I'll just hafta invoke my rematch clause 'n make sure I wipe the playground with him the next time we duke it out!' Yeah. Then she would be the best again, 'Sides, If I had sum hot water on me Goldie locks woulda been nothin' ta me!'

"Okayyyyyy," Akane drawled out, a little unsure of what to think of Ranma's snickering other than to gloss over it entirely, "Anyway, I'm Akane Tendo," Akane introduced herself with a smile, putting a thoughtful expression on Ranma's face. "What's your name?"

"Tendo?"

"Yes," Akane confirmed, looking at her potential new friend with a playful smirk on her features, feigning a threatening tone, "Is that a problem?"

"Oh no," Ranma replied in a jesting manner, having caught the gist of the pleasantry exchange Akane was offering her, "It's jus' I think I mighta met yer sis, Kasumi Tendo," This earned Ranma a blinking look of confusion from Akane, "Name's Ranma Saotome by the way. It's nice ta meetcha."

And suddenly it all came together like a complete puzzle.

"Ranma!" Akane gasped out.

"Huh? Is it sumthin I said?"

Akane sent a heated glare at Naruto, "Why didn't you tell me this was Ranma!"

Naruto just stabbed one of his hands into his pockets, using one to continuously support his two-strapped backpack, "What's the big deal? I don't see the problem here." Naruto mumbled, ambling over to the two girls.

"Well you could've told me you know. I hate being the last one to know something!" Akane whined.

"She kinda has a point there Goldie locks," Ranma agreed, a teasing smirk on her face.

Akane just gave Ranma a scrutinizing gaze. She couldn't tell whether the redhead was _unbelievably _courageous, or just a straight-up moron for trying to antagonize Naruto. After seeing how Naruto effortlessly made a gaping hole in the wall with Ranma's body, it was as clear as day that Naruto could destroy Ranma with both of his arms tied behind his back.

Did Ranma want a beating or something?

Annoying Naruto _was not _in her best interest.

"I know if I were her I wouldn't wanna be left outta the loop either," Ranma continued her witticism, "Or the last one to the party, y'know?"

"What did either of you want me to say?" Thankfully, Naruto took it all in stride, "Something like this, 'Hey, Akane-chan! There's Ranma, the girl who your dad planned to pawn either you or one of your sisters off to, believe it'." Naruto quipped, not missing Ranma flinch and send an angry glare at him, 'Hmm. I wonder what she's so angry about.'

"Grrr, stupid daddy," Akane growled sourly, forcing her ire to take a backseat so she could offer her new friend an explanation, "Sorry, Ranma. My stupid daddy planned to marry you to either me or one of my sisters without even knowing you! Can you believe that?"

"Yeah. Pop hurled my butt from China ta here while keepin' his lips zipped the whole way."

"Humph. I guess that proves we both have a couple of jerks for daddies."

"Yer tellin' me; they're both nothin' but a pair of A-class assholes."

XxX

(Twenty minutes later)

XxX

"Giddy up!"

Skin met skin in an audible slap.

"Don't get slackin'!"

She could feel the string on her hand.

"Why don't cha put sum more horsepower in yer pace?"

She loved it.

"Hey, are ya even flooring it, Goldie locks?"

She happy slapped him again.

"Why? Do? I? Gotta? Be? The? One? To? Carry? Her!" Naruto managed to growl out his question despite the fact that every word which flew from his lips earned him several happy slaps to his head from the cheery redhead riding on his back. It didn't hurt him but it left him seriously annoyed, "This isn't fair, damn it!"

Six more thunderous strikes of the palm were drummed off of Naruto's head.

"Hey! I said five words that time!"

"Nuh-uh, Goldie locks! Ain't no loophole fer ya by stickin' two words together!"

"Aw, screw you, smartass!"

"Oh quit your belly-aching. You were the one who injured her, so you can be the one to carry her to the school's infirmary, idiot!" Akane found it increasingly difficult to be miffed with her friend since she enjoyed seeing Ranma happy slap Naruto.

"I told you she started it!" Naruto protested, earning himself six more happy slaps from the redhead who he was giving a piggyback ride to.

"Where have I ever heard that one before?" Ranma inquired with a wry grin on her face.

Akane couldn't stifle her giggles, "Oh lighten up, Naruto. Aren't you always the one who's telling me I need to loosen up, and have fun?" Akane shook her head, holding her handbag just below her wrist with her two hands, a smile on her face, "Honestly, that sounds pretty ironic. Wouldn't you agree, Ranma?"

"You betcha I do!" Ranma voiced her agreement cheerfully, "Goldie locks bet'ta start taking pages outta his own book."

"Hey, I'm not saying not to have fun," Naruto said with his eyes squinted in annoyance, with his head getting drummed eight more times again, per word, "Just don't poke at me to do it." Nine more slaps ricocheted off of his head, "To hell with the technicalities already!"

Ranma blew Naruto a raspberry, happy-slapping him another six times.

"Oi, you, don't make that face." Akane chirped commandingly. Looking ahead, she realized they had more or less reached their destination, "We're here anyway."

"Great. Now I get the chance to endure the snore fest coming up, because that's just what I've wanted to do ever since waking up, whoopee doo," Naruto groused sarcastically, though a smirk crossed his face at the feel of a familiar 'chakra-signature.' 'Well, looks like I got a head to smash through the wall. That'll be fun.'

Naruto's vision was blacked out by the hands of Ranma as she elevated herself higher on the blonde's back to get a better look at the school, "So that's Furinkan High School," She observed.

Furinkan High School was a plain four story high building that had a clock-face positioned in the centre. Like many other standard schools, it had a metal sliding gate in between the concrete walls some ways away from the actual school building itself, seeing as the entire yard was very wide.

"Meh. It don't look all that to me. Betcha loads a' chumps who couldn't throw a proper punch ta win 'em a meal go there," Ranma said, hearing a derisive snort come from Naruto, who noted Ranma had an ego the size of Las Vegas.

"You wouldn't be too far off there," Akane had a similar ego to Ranma's, the girl sounding rather annoyed thinking of the second rate fighters Furinkan High School had to offer, excluding her and Naruto in this category, "The icky boys here all have as much skill as I do in my little pinkie... combined. Upperclassman Kuno's the only one to watch out for."

Ranma nodded her head, absorbing all the information like a sponge would gobble up water, "Wait. Hold up, so yer a martial artist too, Akane?"

"Yep!" Akane was looking too proud of that fact. "I'm still nowhere near Naruto's level, but I did singlehandedly beat down a bunch of boys every day… well, that was until Naruto came along and put a stop to them attacking me on a daily basis," One might have thought Akane would've been relieved that the group of perverted boys was no longer targeting her for her affections if it wasn't for the bitter expression she sent Naruto's way, "I could've dealt with them on my own Naruto!"

"We've been over this a thousand times, Akane-chan," Naruto said with a sigh, not feeling Ranma happy slap him this time because she was using her hands to cover his eyes, "It was better that I dealt with 'em! I nipped the whole 'beat Akane-chan-and-win-her-as-a-girlfriend thing in the bud. Sheesh. I thought I was doing you a favour."

Akane obviously didn't appreciate the effort because she huffed and looked away from Naruto.

"Oh well. Looks like it's show time." Naruto just knew a nosey Ranma had curious eyes honed on his golden hair, so he lazily lifted up his finger and pointed it at the main entrance gate, "Loony-boy's front and centre for an ass-whooping."

"Loony boy," Ranma blinked her eyes, looking to where Naruto was pointing. Not seeing anything at first Ranma was prepared to write Naruto off as crazy. That was until a guy calmly ambled out from the side of the wall, surprising Ranma, 'Hm. That's one hella nose Goldie Locks has got if he sniffed him out from behind the wall.'

From the way he was geared up, Ranma could tell he was a samurai of sorts, at least a mock one; a light blue kimono held closed by a white sash, a dark blue hakama, and his feet were clad in white socks and wooden sandals. Though perhaps the most eye-catching samurai-gear the young man had on his person was his weapon of choice. There wasn't a single metal sword on him as one would expect a samurai to wield, but instead he wielded a plain wooden sword.

He held himself with an air of both benevolence and condescension about him.

"Ah. For if it isn't thou most worthy adversary, the foul sorcerer Uzumaki. For what treacherous means as thee used to bewitch thou beauteous Akane Tendo. Thou, myself, can only hope the damage done to the beauteous Akane Tendo is not irrevocable. Thou must hurry, the beauteous Akane Tendo is in need of a saviour." The mock-samurai said.

An odd expression appeared on Ranma's features, "S'up with samurai boy over there. He sounds like he's trying ta pull off a shakespear."

"Yeah. That's Kuno for you in a nutshell," Naruto mumbled, "The guy's a total idiot. He's convinced himself I've tricked Akane-chan into being one of my precious people and that he must save her from my 'evil ways'. Ugh. I don't get a moment's rest unless I put him to rest for the entire day."

"Aw, I'm sorry ta hear yer on cleanup duty, Goldie locks," Ranma said mockingly, patting Naruto on the head, "Mebbies ya oughta consider giving this one ta me. I'll have loon-boy thrown ta the wayside without breaking a sweat. Heck. I won't even hafta bust out the big guns on his butt!"

"I can handle him myself, but thanks anyway."

"Naruto," Akane's stern voice halted Kuno and Naruto in their tracks, "I thought I told you not to fight upperclassman Kuno anymore. You're gonna end up maiming him one of these days, knucklehead."

Naruto shrugged, "My hands are kind of tied here, Akane-chan."

"Bu-."

"Fear not, beauteous Akane Tendo, for thou, myself, have been training. I shall give nothing less, but my complete all to see this barbaric swine put in his place and saved thee from his treacherous ways. This, I swear, for I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High: Tatewaki Kuno!" Kuno declared melodramatically.

A flash of blue lightning abruptly struck the sky, causing Ranma to flinch.

"This guy's nuts!" Ranma gaped, feeling a pair of strong hands encase her wrists, "Huh?"

"And that's why I need to beat him down." Naruto said.

"Are thee ready to face thy penance for thy bewitched ways, swine?" Kuno asked with a battle-ready gaze aimed in Naruto's direction. He straightened himself, legs spaced apart with his wooden sword held steadily in front of himself.

After a nod came from Naruto, Ranma found herself flying skywards, and all from a simple flick of the hands from the very person who was carrying her, "Kyaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Ranmaaaaaaa!" Akane screamed in fright, her eyes wide at her now soaring friend. She didn't even get the time to complain to Naruto about mistreating her friends, seeing as she was forced to brace herself or risk falling on her backside from an explosive shock-wave that blew rocks from the ground and into her face.

"Kyaaa." Regaining her composure, a eyed-wide expression appeared on Akane's face upon seeing Kuno's sword swing blocked by an otherwise immobile Naruto's arm, 'Fast.'

"Ha. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you really were training to beat me, huh," Naruto taunted with a gleeful smirk on his whisker-marked face.

"Foul knave! The beauteous Akane Tendo is in need of saviour. I shall smite thee and see to it that she shall be rescued!" Kuno declared, bringing his sword away from Naruto's arm. "This next move shall see thee slayed where thee stand!" Bringing his left elbow up to his shoulder, Kuno straightened his sword on its side and bent his knees.

"Burūsandāatakku (Blue Thunder Attack)!" One thrust quickly became two, then three, then four, until Kuno was firing multiple air cannon-like jabs like a broken tennis ball machine launching tennis balls at will, only much faster, "Atatatatatatatatatata!"

Kuno's motions were little more than a blur to a gaping Akane, who watched Naruto casually dance to the sides with his head tilted upwards, not at all fazed by the destruction the shockwaves of Kuno was creating.

They were completely scarring the earth behind Naruto, also leaving fairly huge chunks in any surrounding buildings unfortunate enough to be caught in the crossfire of Kuno's fierce attack.

"Begone I say!" Kuno commanded, feeling exasperated upon seeing his attack rendered useless on Naruto, but not all deterred in the least. He was still forced to stop his relentless barrage on Naruto and the environment upon getting the wind knocked right out of his sails, forcing him to gasp audibly.

"Na. I'm good. Now, how about _you _make yourself gone if you don't like looking at this awesome mug!" Naruto grinned, planting his foot on Kuno's shin, then gluing his other one to his stomach. Using the unnecessary leverage to his advantage, Naruto leapfrogged into the air, plummeting his feet and his body-weight into Kuno's abdomen, not only smacking him to the ground but also making blood fly from his mouth.

The force of which Naruto supplied to his double leg stomp to Kuno's gut bounced the mock-samurai off of the ground, with Naruto still above him.

With a smirk on his features, Naruto stepped off of Kuno, rising him into the air with his left foot as if he were a soccer ball, before keeping Kuno suspended in the air with a right knee.

Seamlessly pivoting on his heels, the blond jinchuuriki left the ground with his right leg moving over his head and zoning in on Kuno, smashing the mock-samurai so tremendously hard that even if Kuno was shot out of a cannon, he still wouldn't have soared away from the duo with as much intensity as Naruto's overhead kick had given him.

Before Naruto could crash land on his back, he was able to perfectly flip round and land on his feet. Despite the glare which his friend had sent him for his brutal annihilation of Kuno, Naruto simply held out his arms with a grin on his face.

"Kyaaaaa." Ranma screamed, falling nimbly into Naruto's arms, "W-What?"

"And that's the end of that chapter."


	5. The Show Must Go On!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Ranma 1/2**

* * *

**Chapter Four **

**The Show Must Go On!**

"How long is it gonna take?" Whined Ranma, sitting in the reception office on one seat lined up next to four with Akane right by her side, their backpacks settled neatly by their feet on the floor, "Does Mr Antsy Pants in there always needs ta have a twenty minute therapy chat with Goldie locks before he can run the ants outta his pants?"

A moody glower formed on Akane's face while her hands remained neatly folded on her lap. After she and Naruto had taken the bruised Ranma to the infirmary, the nurse had asked if Ranma was a transfer student-of-sorts seeing as she had never seen her before.

One would expect the redhead to simply say, "No way!" And carry on in her merry way, yet that didn't happen. Instead she fumbled for an answer, rapidly shaking her head from side to side as if it would jumbo a magical, convenient answer for her.

Whether the blond actually liked having her around for Akane's sake or he simply pitied her, Ranma would never know, being that he blurted out that she was only now transferring to this school starting from today in a nonchalant manner, which immediately earned him Akane's fury.

The girl was so kind Ranma couldn't help but cling onto her.

"Ugh. I'm not sure what that knucklehead and vice principal Harou need to discuss! The idiot never tells me!" Akane loured, "For all I know they could be plotting to rule the world!"

"Hm. Don't ya need ta have a brain fer that?" Ranma quipped with a smirk.

The redhead's self-satisfied smile was mirrored by Akane, "Woops, how could I forget?" She chirped, her sarcasm not lost on the pigtailed fighter, "I can't even imagine how that idiot would go about taking over the world," She sighed, more for show than anything else, "Good thing he has vice principal Harou to be the brains to his brawns."

"Heh. Then it's Pinkie and the Brain two-point-o," Ranma continued on the trail of mocking Naruto and the vice-principal with a snicker.

Akane was still on the same page as her, "I wonder how many times they'll fail."

"Hmmm. 'Bout as much as the wild coyote and Sylvester fail to snatch birdies," Ranma smirked, "Actually, I take that back. Put Coyote's and Sylvester's losses together, times the total number a' times they've fallen flat on their faces by, hmm, let's say a thousand, and then you'll hit the jackpot!" Ranma released a mock-awed noise, "Whoa, that's a whole lotta times those losers will crash 'n burn trying to overthrow the world. At this point I'm jus' gobsmacked that they ain't burned from the inside out!"

Akane giggled, playfully knocking her shoulder against Ranma's, allowing it to stick there so she could put her head on her newest girlfriend's shoulder. Yuki and Sayuri would love her, too, this Akane was positive of, "Oh Ranma, you're so funny," Akane complimented the smartass redhead.

"Gee. Thanks," Ranma returned, rather shyly, being that she wasn't at all used to interacting with her own age group. Friends-deprived as she was, the redhead valued any-and-all forms of companionship, even on a minuscule level.

Hmm. Perhaps Goldie locks had done her a favour by flinging her pops away to Kingdom Come – even if she couldn't for the life of her get on her hands on some hot water…

Ranma was lost without her pops.

Akane eased off of the redhaired young woman's shoulder, allowing the hilarity to drain away out of her system to discuss a serious matter with Ranma, "You know, Ranma, as much as I'm happy that you want an education, _unlike some people _I know,-" Her voice took on a sharp edge of annoyance, though she quickly banished it to make way for a comforting tone, "-It isn't too late to turn around and leave. I wouldn't want you to think you're obligated to start here just because Knucklehead said you're a transfer student."

"Meh." Ranma shrugged, folding her arms behind her head, "It's not like I got anythin' better ta do."

"What about your daddy?" Akane probed, a concerned expression coming to her face, "Won't he be worried about you?"

Ranma blew off that by making a farting noise and sticking her tongue out, "Ha, heck no. If Pops, by chance, is out looking fer me it's probably only 'cause he wants ta shove an engagement in my face!" She pouted, crossing her arms underneath her gorgeous bosom, "Come ta think of it, I ain't all a' sure myself why Pops even had this engagement cooking up in the works, when he made it clear girls are weak, st-."

The volume of shattering concrete cut Ranma off, eliciting an instinctual stiff small movement out of her, and a wince from her throat. With extended eyes of sudden shock, the redhead slowly turned her head in the direction of the noise, losing the colour in her face at the sight of Akane's fist wedged cleanly into the wall.

She gulped. The murderous intent was filling the room like an unbreathable solidified substance. The redhead felt running out of the school building to get as far away from the erupting volcano that was Akane Tendo as possible would've been in her best interest, yet she was frozen by the malice radiating off of the fiery, passionate girl in shades!

"A-Akane!" Ranma yelped spinelessly.

"Oh that sexist pig!" The fierce young woman roared. If she had chakra, the room would've been reduced to wooden and concrete smithereens. She didn't have chakra, but her tremendous killing intent was still scaring the pants off of Ranma, "I don't care if your father is some hotshot martial artist, I'll beat the stuffing out of him if he even so much of thinks lesser of me just because I'm a girl!"

"Yer sure are reaching fer the stars," Ranma intoned, though her sarcasm went amiss by the passionate preaching young woman, 'What a load a' hot air she's got stuffed up in her noggin. How does Goldie locks even cope with her?' She _almost _felt sorry for the poor bastard - key word being _almost._

'Hehe. It's gonna be hella fun ta blow up Angry Pants here and watch her explode on Goldie locks,' Ranma thought deviously, smirking in a mischievous manner, 'Throw me into a wall, will he? Well let's jus' see how he likes having Akane on his butt like the she-hulk on a mission!'

Let it be known hell had no fury like a woman's scorn.

Ranma blinked owlishly from the sudden starry-eyed, determined smirk Akane sent her, "Ranma, I understand why you don't want to go back to that sexist pig who has the nerve to call himself your _daddy, ugh!" _The tainted words rolled off of her tongue like poisonous venom, "I think you're very strong to have tolerated your icky father without having resorted to the stuff a boy would've done. You're a good person, Ranma!" Akane complimented with a sweet smile.

It felt very backwards to Ranma in some ways, "Uh-huh. Thanks, I guess," At first she mumbled her appreciation with clear uncertainty in her voice, then afterwards her crossness showed, "What's that ta supposed ta mean anyway?!"

Akane blinked innocently, "What do you mean, Ranma?"

Ranma bristled, finding her own rage slowly, but surely bubbling to the surface, "Bout stooping ta the stuff a guy would do, _duh."_

Being that it was a (quote-on-quote) 'girl' who she was talking to, and not a guy, say Naruto, the redhead's rudeness was blatantly ignored by the martial artist-in-training. Instead, she gave off what she thought was a disarming laugh, "Oh, you know, boys!"

"O yes, of course. I know, 'cause I'm Mr flippin' know-it-all, huh? That's why I flippin' asked ya!" The rude-girl snapped sarcastically, her eyes lowering in boredom as if her amusement in a game was waning thin, "Why don't cha fill me in on the blanks anyway."

Akane viewed the raging inferno that was Ranma Saotome with a blank look of curiosity, not being able to comprehend why her friend was so mad. Sure she had spoken ill of a guy's mentality, but what normal traditional, moderately powered martial artist wouldn't after getting ganged up on by a group of boys who had deluded themselves that they could be her boyfriend if they had somehow subdued her?

The only boy who Akane had ever known to be a somewhat respectable and decent male human being had been her best friend, Naruto. Sure there was Doctor Tofu, but he was in love with her oneesama, Kasumi. She felt sorry for Doctor Tofu, because he could never talk to her properly, due to his shyness, and had to bare the heart-breaking torture of seeing the woman he 'loved' grow closer to Naruto.

Her heart went out for him. So, putting her own feelings on the shelf, Akane sought to help Doctor Tofu out by taking Naruto off Kasumi's hands, though nowadays she wondered was that such a good idea. Naruto wasn't a ladies-man by any means, but he was an idiot who didn't realize the effect his words had on people. The way he subtly complimented Akane on her femininity, something of which she was very insecure about from the get-go, left butterflies in her stomach.

It wasn't even like he was trying to get with her either, being that he had straight-up told her this in a blunt manner after catching her fist when she had tried to lunge at him.

In Naruto's mind, he was just complimenting a friend.

Before she knew it Naruto had become one of her closest friends.

She would do anything for Naruto; just like she was sure the blond would do anything for her. He was different from the other boys.

'It must be because of the way her icky daddy raised her,' Akane rationalized, giving the pouting redhead a calculating gaze, 'He must have filled her head with the nasty lie about girls being weak and that she must act all boyish otherwise she'd be weak! _Ugh, that pig_! I hate him!' Akane felt a deep seed of hatred swell up in the pit of her stomach for Ranma's father, despite not knowing the man personally.

Ranma blinked when both of her hands were brought up in a soothing grip, glancing oddly at Akane's hands, "Oh Ranma, I'm so sorry, I had no idea that pig of a father you have has influenced you so badly, going as far as to have you refer to yourself as a icky boy."

"I know what I said, damn it!"

"Well don't worry!" Akane declared resolutely, earning herself a bizarre look from Ranma, "I'm going to help you, because that's what friends are for, right Ranma!" Akane chirped, gigging.

'Aw, man. Now she's a gal on a mission!' Ranma moaned mentally, putting a finger to her temple to contemplate to herself, 'Should I tell her my secret?' If she did that she probably wouldn't be able to wind her up by making Akane believe she and Naruto had a fling going on.

It was just so funny getting Naruto into trouble with Akane so sue Ranma!

When a squeaky sound echoed throughout the air, followed by a mass amount of smoke spewing forth into the reception, Ranma and Akane ended up with their fists attempting to plug up hard coughs escaping their throats.

"Ack! Pee you! What that's smell?" Ranma asked with a grimace, "It smells like someone laid an egg in there 'n it hatched to reveal it was a stink bomb! Either that or Dumbo 'n Doofus in there decided ta put their plan into action!"

The dull thumping sound getting closer and closer let both girls know someone was approaching. Looking to the direction of the open door leading to the principal's office, Ranma exhaled a sigh of relief upon seeing it was Naruto who was sauntering out of the room.

"Well it's 'bout flippin time, too!" Ranma yelled brashly, "What? Did'ya and dumb-dumb finally settle on a plan ta overthrow the world?" She hopped to her feet with a challenging smirk on her face, "Well you'll hafta get through me first pal. 'N I'mma tell ya this, I was only taking it easy on ya the first time around. Bet'ta start pickin' 'cause you're taking an all-expensive paid trip back ta America!" After Ranma's quip ended, the redhead winced from the soreness of her back.

"Ranma, take it easy!" Akane recommended, standing up to support the redhead with her arms wrapped around her waist, "The nurse said you're only free to walk around if you've got supervision!"

"Aw, man, this sucks!" Ranma complained, glaring up at the blankly watching Naruto, "What?! If ya got sumthin' ta say, Mr Big Cheese, then come right out and say it!" Yet Naruto didn't say anything; not at all. His eyes just lowered in a half-lidded way, with a lopsided, silly grin crossing his features. If Ranma was being honest with herself, she would admit Naruto made her skin crawl.

"Hmm. Goldie locks," Ranma started, unsure how to put this, "Ya kind of giving me the creeps," Even Akane didn't know what to make of her friend's odd behaviour. She was, however, annoyed like no one's business when Naruto plucked out one of his hands, delicately running his fingertips through Ranma's hair, "Hey! The heck are ya doin'?"

"Such pretty red hair," Naruto mumbled cheerily, showing the confused girls a toothy grin.

"Uh-uh. Did'ya inhale happy gas while ya were in there, Goldie locks, or do ya jus' gotta fetish fer red?" Ranma quipped questionably, only getting a goofy guffaw from the cheery-looking Naruto caressing her hair, "Oh-kay, I guess I can say that's a bit a' both." She concluded dryly, but immediately felt grossed out when a masculine whisker-tattooed cheek was pressed up against her sulky smooth cheek with a pair of strong arms embracing her, "Hey, would-cha get off of me, ya brain dead moron!" Ranma demanded, trying to wriggle her arms free.

"Ahhhh! Naruto, what are you doing?" Akane shouted, flying off into a rage, "Let go of her now, knucklehead!" With her killing intent once again engulfing the room, basically strangling the terrified redhead, Akane flew from her position to get behind the-high-on-life Naruto, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and desperately trying to pull him away from Ranma.

"Ugh! I said let go of her, idiot!" Akane commanded, her face red from the stress of trying to pry Naruto from Ranma, but it was as if the blond was a rock because no matter how much Akane pulled, Naruto would not budge. Not even a little. "What's wrong with you?"

Akane was knocked back from the Ashura-reincarnation pulling away from Ranma, who was still quivering from Akane's murderous intent. Having been thrown back so suddenly, and against her will no less, Akane was in no position to gain control over her own momentum, made all the more evident by her rapidly flailing arms and wobbling form.

"Kyaaa!"

The youngest Tendo sputtered, aimlessly trying not to fall over, until a tender grip on her wrist halted on her fall in its tracks. Like a magnetic pull, Akane was sucked into a hard muscled chest so fast she ended up putting up her hands as if it would cushion the impact.

"N-Naruto!" Akane said, shyly turning her head away from Naruto, clearly not used to the close proximity the two of them happened to be in, "What are you doing? Someone might see!" Someone other than Ranma, who seemed more content to slow her beating heart down rather than watch Naruto and Akane spoon each other.

Naruto's face morphed into a huge smile of goofiness, "You gotta be more careful, Akane-chan. You could've fallen and hurt yourself, you know. And I wouldn't want one of my precious people to get hurt. No siree, not on my watch!" Nodding sagely to himself, Naruto distanced himself from Akane to journey out of the reception office.

An almost eerily-like silence settled in the smoke-clouded room; the kind of quiet a crowd of unwilling spectators would get after inadvertently witnessing an honourable showdown of guns wielded by two determined gunmen/women. The silence was so deathly and prominent that even if a minuscule sized pin-nail dropped onto the wooden tiled flooring it would echo out to immense proportions.

Once Ranma felt the last remains of Akane's killing intent leave the room she put her observational skills to good use, scanning Akane after the youngest Tendo's close interaction with Naruto. She looked uncomfortable and remarkably flustered.

Ranma's teasing predator instincts were kicking in now.

"So, ya 'n Goldie locks seemed ta be getting _real _cosy there, eh Akane," A starry-shaped sparkle gleamed in the redhead's eye from watching Akane flinch, 'Gotcha. Now ta go in fer the kill,' Ranma snickered, sounding very much like a mischievous little rascal in the recess of her mind, while Akane fidgeted nervously, "Hey, don't mind me. It's all fine 'n dandy, I was jus' wondering if yer two needed me ta buy yer a room fer the night."

"Ranma!"

Ranma grinned in a manner which gave Akane the (terrified, to her) feeling that it would quickly become her shtick: mock innocence.

"I don't hear an _object."_

"But I don't even like Naruto in that way!"

"That's what they all say."

"It's true!"

Instead of simply rebutting Akane with an immature 'Nuh-uh', the cheeky redhead chose to rub in what she believed was a definite fact in Akane's face in a way that could be considered even more childishly simplistic than just a straight-up no to someone who had told her the opposite.

She brought it back old school with a teasing song that would make anyone her age palm one's own face just out of the sheer ludicrousness of seeing someone else their age with the mentality of a six year old.

"Akane and Goldie locks sitting in a tree – K. I. S. S. I. N. G! - first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Akane and Goldie locks with a baby carriage!"

Akane held a finger to her temple as if it would soothe the aching headache she could feel coming on.

"Not another Naruto."

"'N since yer ain't objected, I'll rest my case."

"Ugh."

Ranma grinned.

She was gonna love teasing Akane and Naruto.

XxX

(With Naruto)

"Aw, shit." Naruto groaned, slowly trudging through the hallways, and climbing up the stairs on his way to the top floor, where his class was, mostly so he could clear his clouded head. After the buzz of being high worn off, it left his head rocking as if he had fallen off of a mountain.

"Stupid, doc; he could've waited 'till I had left first before lighting up a smoke. He knows how sensitive I am to that stuff. I didn't even touch that stuff, but I 'till felt like nothing could bring me down to earth."

When he had reached the top floor, Naruto gave a careless shrug to no one in particular, "Oh well, at least that ramen fantasy I got outta it was worthwhile. Hehehe. I was swimming in barbeque pork ramen," Naruto giggled, his backpack hung by his mouth since that where his two hands were, "Oh man! If only I could take a bath in ramen! That would be awesome!"

An idea spontaneously flashed in the deep, empty abyss of his 'brain' like a bright light bulb, and all thanks to Akane-chan.

On days where the sole survivor of the Uzumaki clan had wanted to skip school and do an lie in – which was like every day – Akane would tell him if he studied hard enough in school to earn himself phenomenal grades the time he graduated, he could finally leave the crap-hole that was his apartment and get himself a real posh suite – the kind of places where a _badass_ would live in.

The martial artist kept reminding the shinobi of his goal to leave his apartment and better himself in life with a simple, "If you want out of here, then come to school," being that she had told him a million times earlier during his first few weeks of school if he came and studied phenomenally, he could be rolling around in the big bucks in just a few years.

Lots of cash meant lots of worthwhile stuff Naruto could splurge on himself, like buying a ramen Jacuzzi or something.

"Yay!" Naruto yelled chirpily, "I'm gonna bust my ass off in school to earn me top marks in all classes, so I get me a ramen Jacuzzi!" Now this was a sight for sore eyes, _Naruto_, aka the number one delinquent in school, sprinting to class as if his life depended on it, "Ramen, ramen, ramen!" The Child of Prophecy sang.

The world must be coming to an end.

After Naruto basically teleported with his outrageous level of speed, the unusual hair-coloured Uzumaki shinobi skidded to a stop outside of a door marked 418, "Alright!" Grinning widely, Naruto gripped the doorknob, swinging open the sliding door to be met with the deadpan stare of a pink-suited man as if he had been waiting for Naruto to do that.

"Yay, the number one ninja Naruto Uzumaki is late for the show, but is always ready to go," Naruto boasted.

Most of the other students allowed silence to reign supreme in this instance to just gaze at the blonde haired shinobi bizarrely, with only two adolescents clearly not on the Naruto-is-crazy-bandwagon not doing such. One was waving cheerily at Naruto, and the other just politely gave Naruto a flick of his wrist in greeting.

"Hehe." Naruto chuckled heartily, straightening his school bag on his shoulder, and rubbing his nostrils with his index finger, before switching his attention from his acquaintances to his unenthused teacher, "What's up, teach? I'm here to rock!"

"Mr Uzumaki," The teacher groaned flatly, knowing he was too old for this, "You're late…" He seemed to drone off, a listless gaze in his eyes, "Your excuse."

"You know, the usual." And Mr Slowpoke did know too, since the vice principal Harou had informed him already that Naruto would most likely be a tad late showing up to his class due to their 'meetings,' "Stuff."

"Very well," His teacher accepted with a drawled out grunt. "Take your seat."

"You got it coach!" Naruto began contently cruising to his desk, though he stopped to look over his shoulder at his teacher, "Oh, and don't worry about me dropping off today, coach! I'm pumped to ace this class, believe it."

The teacher's snort was the very definition of, 'Yeah right.' "Yeah." He said lowly, allowing a few seconds to pass for a pause to linger in the air, "That'll be the day."

Naruto pouted grumpily, but otherwise made his way over to his desk positioned right next to the window, where his only male acquaintances happened to be seated close by to him. One was sat right next to his desk with the other one sitting in front of him.

"Naruto, my man!" Daisuke was the first one to greet the blond being that he wasn't the one who was seated right next to Naruto, and that Hiroshi and Naruto were directly seated behind him. Though, like Hiroshi, Daisuke wore the official Furinkan High School uniform for boys, a navy blue blazer jacket with gold buttons, matched by trousers, and posh black shoes on his feet.

"Hey, guys," Naruto said, holding out an extended arm with an open palm to receive a couple of sideways high fives from Daisuke, followed by Hiroshi seamlessly, "How's it going?" Naruto took his seat next to Hiroshi's, carelessly allowing his backpack to drop to the ground.

Daisuke turned around on his chair, leaning his elbow on the back of it with his eyebrows wiggling up and down in a suggestive manner, "Be honest with us, Naruto, you know you can. We're pals," He grinned, "Right?"

Naruto laughed slightly, setting his elbow on his desk to rest his cheek on his palm, "You better believe we are!"

"In that case," Hiroshi said, his own wide grin mirroring Daisuke's at Naruto's admittance to them being friends who could spill their juicy secrets to each other, "You have to tell us!" He firmly stated, a pointed index finger extended and a ludicrous serious expression on his face.

"Eh?"

"You weren't really with the vice principal, were you, Naruto? You were with Akane, enit!" The excited Daisuke declared as if it were a fact of life.

"Eh?" The blond just glanced at the two expectant boys oddly, who both gaped and turned towards each other.

"He did!" Hiroshi gasped with a gawk.

"Eh?"

"You sly dog!" Daisuke complimented.

"Eh?"

"Dude, you're so in there!" Hiroshi chirped with a massive goofy grin.

"Okay."

"You must teach me oh wise one!"

"And me!"

'So that's what they wanted to know,' Naruto internally said, a dull expression on his whisker-marked features, 'Oh brother,' He just hung his head with his two acquaintances beaming brightly at him.

"Ahem." The teacher's clear of his throat got Daisuke and Hiroshi to stiffen their postures, and instinctually spin around to face his flat expression with their hands cupped together on their desks, and their backs straightened upward in a synchronized order, "Zip it."

"Yes-."

"-Sir!"

Daisuke started, Hiroshi finished.

They had clearly been hanging around each other for far too long.

Once the teacher had turned back around to face the chalkboard, Hiroshi took his chance to get Naruto's attention with a tap on his arm, a mission which he proceeded in, "Get me Akane's sister's number, I know you're close to Akane's family. So you can put in a good word for me. Can't you?" Hiroshi whispered with a victorious grin which just screamed, 'You can trust me!'

"And me."

Naruto shook his head, casually taking off his glasses and shifting his attention from the two women-seeking-young men to the window.

'Well, they're better than no company at all.'

And they were nice people.

They get an okay in Naruto's book.

Believe it.

XxX

(A Few Minutes Later)

XxX

"Mr Uzumaki."

"Zzzzzzz-. *pop* Eh?"

"You were dozing off."

"H-Huh? What? You sure about that coach?"

"That I am." The dubbed Coach said in the same listless tone as he had been using for as long as Naruto could remember, "To my knowledge, I recall a certain rowdy, loud-mouthed self-proclaimed 'ninja' bragging about passing my class with flying colours," He gave his class a low, deep belly chuckle, "How ironic. Wouldn't you…" He paused, purposely slurring his speech with a half smirk, "Believe it…"

A chorus of awed-filled gasps echoed out from the majority of the class, except from one gobsmacked shinobi.

O…o

"Wow. Mr Fujimura just baited Naruto!"

"Ha! My man Naruto'll kick his ass!"

"He'll be so in there with all the girls for that!"

"As if!"

"Yeah. I'm not interested in a criminal."

"Jerks!"

"Pervs!"

"Do you think Uzumaki'll really fight Fujimura-sensei, Sayuri-chan?"

"Hmm. Well considering the fact he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, I say that's a definite possibility."

"Hehe. Yeah, in some ways, I wonder why Akane-chan even stays with him."

"I know! She's so gorgeous. She could get any boy she so desires!"

"Yet she stays with a hooligan like him."

"Ooo. It's like a love story of a princess and a farmer!"

"So romantic!"

Both of Akane's girls – who could in some ways be considered the female equivalents of Naruto's Daisuke and Hiroshi – finished simultaneously, dreamy looks on their eyes.

Naruto snorted in bull-esque, not at all amused in the least at Akane's girlfriends' ridiculing of him or at Fujimura's little jibe at him using his own catchphrase, "Oh no you didn't just go there, coach!" Naruto roared, shooting up to his feet while rolling up one of his sleeves, "You want summa th-."

The slamming of the door cut Naruto off, "Don't even think about it, Naruto!" Akane's thunderous voice slicing through the tension depleted any fight Naruto had in him.

The martial artist carefully walked into the classroom supporting a limping redhead, whom own shapely hips, and busty breasts got her ogled by a huge portion of the male populace of the class, and even a few females.

"Akane-chan!" Yuki and Sayuri greeted their girlfriend cheerily.

Akane returned their affection with a fond smile, though quickly discarded it to put back on a stern mask to calm Naruto, "Fujimura-sensei has enough on his plate without having to deal with you, knucklehead! So you better behave yourself, got that!" Sayuri and Yuki were simply left in awe at Akane's ability to ground Naruto.

"B-But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but," Naruto repeated aimlessly, but he knew he wasn't winning this one, so he dropped back down on his seat in a grumpy manner, arms crossed over his chest, "Okay, just don't have a cow!" He pouted, but despite his chatty mouth Akane still breathed a sigh of relief.

"Wow, Akane-chan's amazing!" Sayuri complimented.

"She keeps him so well-grounded!" Yuki added.

With a dull expression on his face, Naruto felt a nudge on his right side, causing him to turn his head to see what Hiroshi wanted. Needlessly to say, he was left uninterested by the tears pouring Hiroshi's eyes, "Dude, you're so in there!" The typical everyday student gave the shinobi a thumbs-up.

The shinobi decided to humour him, "Guess so," Naruto mumbled with a shrug, leaving it at that.

Akane huffed, straightening her shoulders to respectfully give their homeroom teacher her full attention, voicing an apology on behalf of Naruto, "I'm sorry about knucklehead over there, Fujimura-sensei."

With the exception of Daisuke and Hiroshi, the male-populace snickered mockingly at the blonde's expertise, while the female-populace – aka the fan-girls - of the class all squealed cheerily at Akane.

Naruto was able to silence most of the males of the class with a deadly glare, though he couldn't put a stop to the girls awing over Akane. In fact his glare over darkened at the sight of a little redhead's taunting grin, 'Humph. It's not _that _funny, I don't know what she's smirking about!' He sulked moodily.

'She's got ya whipped real good, enit Goldie locks,' Ranma's thoughts were directly solely on Naruto, and though he could do many things, like stop a guy from dying with a simple touch, or even glide through the very clouds themselves, he could not read minds, yet didn't need to in this instance.

Ranma's teasing grin told him all he needed to know.

Fujimura-sensei hummed; although either Akane's mind was playing tricks on her, or she could've almost sworn she saw Fujimura frowning. It was hard to tell being that his face was so often just a mask of static strictness, "Hm." He got Ranma's attention as he gave her a scrutinizing gaze, "Who might this be?" As Ranma rose her fist up to her chest to confidently introduce herself, she was halted from doing so by Akane drawing her attention towards her with a tap on her arm.

"What gives?" Ranma inquired.

"Let Fujimura-sensei finish first, Ranma?" Akane said, giving Ranma the benefit of the doubt since it was her first day here.

Ranma blinked, "Eh? He's not done yappin' his gums?" While most of the males in the classroom winced at the redhead's ghetto speak mechanisms, the girls just seemed to be grateful to have another tough girl around school.

Akane just nodded the answer to Ranma's question, prompting her to turn back around to face the flat stare of Fujimura.

"Yes…" He said in a dull fashion.

The hidden guilt swelled up inside of Ranma's gut upon being graced with the knowledge that she had interrupted a slow talking teacher, even only inadvertently.

Ranma rubbed the back of her head in a sheepish manner, "Sorry 'bout this," She attempted to rid herself of the guilt attacking the recess of her mind with an unsure apology.

"Hm." Fujimura let out flatly, the silence lingered for a couple of seconds, "Never-mind," Again, another pause, much to Ranma's blinking curiosity, "You are?" Ranma opened her mouth to speak but chose to simply wait to see if the slow-talking teacher had another thing to say, "And why are you two fifteen minutes late?"

'S'up with Slowpoke? Did he get outta the wrong side of the bed or sumthin?' Ranma mused, and since he hadn't spoken up again she figured it was her turn to speak, "Ranma Saotome, first day."

Akane dipped into a small bow, "I'm sorry for our tardiness, Fujimura-sensei, but Ranma needed to go see the nurse first because a certain _someone _threw her into a brick wall," The proverbial bright yellow light of accusation was settled over Naruto's head whom found himself on the receiving end of a lot of flat looks.

"Eh? Why's everyone looking at me?"

If possible the deadpanned stares of the students deepened.

"Aw, screw you guys! Why do I gotta be the scapegoat?!"

"Naruto!" Daisuke whined comically, tears running down his cheeks, "How could you?"

"And to think I thought you were so in there." Hiroshi mumbled his disappointment with a shake of his head.

Naruto could only cement his hand on his cheek with his elbow pressed on the desk, a scowl on his whisker-tattooed face, "You know, you guys are a couple of jerks."

"I see." Fujimura said, closing his eyes, choosing to ignore the boys, "Will you be fit enough for the remainder of the lesson?"

"Course!" Ranma assured haughtily, "A little shove into a pile a' bricks ain't gonna be 'nuff ta keep me down ya' know," She winced silently from a rush of pain coursing through her body, but still managed a strained, confident smirk, "Yep, just say the word ol' Slowpoke 'n I'm good ta go."

Fujimura let out a low growl, "Smartass."

"She's so brave!" Daisuke gushed.

"I wonder if I can get in there," Hiroshi contemplated, fishing his cell phone out in the blink of an eye.

"Get in line, buddy, because I'm getting-."

"-Her number first!"

"Damn it! Stop stealing my lines, I'm getting her number!"

"No, I am!"

"No, me!"

"Me!"

Akane silenced all the perverted boys with a menacing glare, causing them to whimper audibly, while Ranma just chuckled tauntingly.

Ranma didn't particularly like being a girl, but it turned out she _loved _taunting boys, rising their hopes to new heights that losers like them could get a fine piece of ass like her, only to ruthlessly crush their hopes with an innocently teasing line such as, "Woops, did I forget ta tell ya, I ain't on the menu."

Revealing her birth gender to any boy thick enough to believe they had actually managed to convince her to let him take her out on a date was another fun thing she liked to do. Oh! That one gave her lots of kicks, watching a boy freak out with the scary realization that he had been hitting on the same sex as him left Ranma guffawing so much her insides would start to hurt.

"Very well," Fujimura murmured, inadvertently bringing a close to Ranma's underhanded thoughts, "You may take your seat," He grunted for a good few seconds, as if he was attempting to clear his throat, "Class won't be finished for another two hours," He explained for Ranma's sake.

"Thank you, Fujimura-sensei," Akane said appreciatively, dipping into another bow to which the teacher hummed off. Once she stood up straight she graced her newest friend with a sweet smile, "Come on, Ranma, I'll show you to your seat. You can sit next to me if you want."

Ranma gave a quick scan of the classroom, spotting two girls dressed similarly to Akane waving them over, 'Must be her buds,' She guessed, eyes still roaming around the room to come to a stop on a whisker-tattooed young man, seeing him idly looking at the window as if he and he alone was seeing something no one else could.

A flash of inspirational brilliance hit her.

"Well, actually," Ranma said, her mischievous snickers earned her a blinking look of confusion from Akane, "I'll park my butt in the space behind Goldie locks."

"What? Why?" Akane questioned, not quite being able to comprehend Ranma's decision, "Why would you want to sit near Knucklehead for, Ranma?" She raised her voice with a pout, eliciting gasps from most of the students barring Naruto and the boys, Daisuke and Hiroshi.

Naruto was clearly too busy with his head in the clouds to pay attention to what was going on, and his acquaintances were squealing cheerily that such a pretty girl was going to be sitting by them.

Ranma offered the perplexed Akane a shrug of indifference, "Whatever he's seeing out there I want in."

"But Ranma-."

"Please," Fujimura said, cutting off Akane, "May you two take your seats."

Ranma gave the sulking Akane a cheeky, bright smile, sweeping Akane's arms off of her person to straighten her backpack, "Well, ya heard the man," She jerked her thumb in the direction of her seat behind Naruto, "Ya go that way, and I go this-o-way."

"Oh, fine then!" Akane finally relented with a hard, frustrated sigh, but despite her annoyance at her friend's desire to sit elsewhere she was still consideration enough to offer her some advice with a batch of concern, "Just promise me you'll be careful getting over there. K."

Ranma nodded without hesitation, "Will do."

"Ohhhhh! She's coming over here!" Daisuke drooled, feeling time slow down witnessing Ranma limping over to them.

"I'm gonna be so in _there_!" Hiroshi grinned.

The two everyday students winced from the sharp, piercing glare Akane sent them, then cold sweat ran down their faces from the warning the aforementioned youngest Tendo gave them, "Don't even think about it!"

'I wonder how Sasuke's doing.' Naruto idly mused, a bored look on his face as his palm supported his chin.

After Sasuke had quickly tracked Naruto down when they first arrived here in this dimension, the Indra-reincarnation vowed he would find a way home so they could seal Kaguya, but that was a while ago, a good long while ago too.

"Hm." Naruto felt a pair of fingers flicking rudely off of his skull, his senses immediately telling him who was right by his side, so he averted his attention away from the window, and to a smiling redhead, "It's you," Naruto said with a neutral expression, "You okay? Is something bothering you?"

"Just wanted ta let ya know it looks like we're gonna be neighbours, buddy," Ranma replied in kind, hiding her disappointment at having not annoyed Naruto with her flick off of his head.

Naruto gave Ranma a questioning stare but she only tossed her thumb behind herself in the direction of Hiroshi and Daisuke whose wide grins were all the confirmation Naruto needed.

"Well, okay then," Naruto said, "Anything you need feel free to ask."

"O, you can count on it," Ranma said, her gleaming eyes gave Naruto the impression he didn't know what he had bargained for, but he would soon find out.

'Hmmmm. I don't like the look of that,' Naruto thought cautiously, defensively eyeing Ranma slide her backpack-straps out of her arms, before taking her place behind the blonde's own seat. With Ranma no longer in view, Naruto could clearly see Hiroshi giving him a thumbs-up with tears in his eyes.

"Dude, you really are in there!"

"When am I ever not in there to you?" Naruto said, more to himself than to Hiroshi, a deadpan look on his face. While Fujimura begin his lesson, Naruto rested both of his arms on his desk, using them as a makeshift pillow for his head, 'Well! I might as well get some shut eye until lunch time.'

"Okay, class. Kindly take out your textbooks and turn to page forty five." Fujimura commanded.

Excluding Naruto - while the majority of the class covered their desks with their school bags to bring out their textbooks, a hand went up into the air, "Yo, teach," Ranma called out in an unconcerned fashion.

"Yes, Miss Saotome." He growled inwardly to the reference of his chosen occupation, 'Another one.' A dark glare formed in his eyes, which were honing in on Naruto like an automatic missile launcher, 'One day,' His thoughts reflected the gloomy fierce stare in his eyes, 'You'll get yours, Mr Uzumaki.'

Ranma cringed at the reminder of her current gender, but managed to suck it up; it would all be worth it in the end, "Ain't got a book." Ranma explained.

"Hmm." Fujimura droned, opening up a drawer, before fishing his hand in there, "You're in luck, I have a few in stock."

"Whoopee doo to me then," Ranma said sarcastically.

"Indeed," He stalled, looking at Naruto, "Mr Uzumaki!" He raised his voice to get Naruto's attention, though was rather disappointed when the boy merely lifted up his head slightly, a listless expression on his face.

"Eh?"

"Since you seem so bored, why don't you make yourself useful by bringing Miss Saotome her book?"

The shinobi straightened the upper part of his body completely, giving his arms a good stretch, while letting out a yawn, which came out prematurely due to the spike of killing intent the blonde's senses picked up radiating from the martial artist. He bashfully turned his head to the sight of a glaring Akane.

"Na-ru-to!" Akane gritted out, intensifying her glare with every lettering of Naruto's name which slid begrudgingly from her lips.

"Whoa, Akane-chan's scary," Sayuri whispered sheepishly.

"I almost feel bad for Uzumaki," Yuki murmured, much in the same fashion as Sayuri.

"Oh boy, me thinks I'm in trouble," Naruto said, although he dreaded the inevitable scolded he would get from Akane, he still laughed humourlessly, "Hehe." He scooted out of his seat and looked over his shoulder, seeing Ranma grinning teasingly at him, "Leave it to me, Ranma! I'll have your book to ya in a jiff."

"Well ain't ya the gentleman," Ranma chirped sarcastically, leaning her elbows on her own desk, intertwining her fingers together to act as a makeshift resting place for her chin, "I betcha must get all the birds falling at yer feet, right maestro?"

Naruto cringed, "No," He nervously spared a glance at an ultra-fuming blue haired Tendo, "What makes you say that anyway?"

"Oh 'nuthin!" Ranma beamed, "I was jus' wondering what I should call ya, Johnny-on-the-spot or Casanova?"

Naruto shrugged to Ranma's supposed dilemma, "Johnny-on-the-spot sounds good." His neutral response earned him a surprised flinch, followed by odd blinking from the Saotome heir.

Ranma nodded casually, making a shooing motion with her fingers, "Then hop ta it." The blond shinobi saluted her, before marching off to fetch her new textbook, "Moron," She muttered, keeping it underneath her breath so only she would hear it.

Naruto completed his task to get Ranma's book to her in record time, unceremoniously dropping it on her desk, "One textbook hot on the rocks," The blond declared in a joking manner.

"Ta," Ranma mumbled her appreciation.

Naruto gave her a firm nod, and then retook his place by his own desk, shaking his arms out as if loosening the tension within them. As he moved his arms to the surface of his desk, it clicked in his head that he was missing something, 'Uh-oh. I better get my own book out to make it look like I'm studying.'

With a sheepish giggle escaping his lips, Naruto lifted his two-strapped school bag from the floor, and to his lap, so he could unzip it, 'Now let's see here.' He fished his hand into his bag, 'No, no, ah! Bingo!' He pulled out a bright red book out of his bag before dropping it carelessly to the floor again.

'All right! It's a good thing I don't study, otherwise I wouldn't have been so sure I even had this thing on me or not!' Grinning sneakily to himself, Naruto opened up his textbook to a random page of a huge obese guy wearing old fashioned posh clothes, then placed his book on his desk to act as a cover for his resting head.

'Hehe. I'm so smart!' Naruto boasted with his head perched on his desk, snickering. He took in a few breaths, willing himself to relax, 'Now I can get back to counting ramen in my sleep, believe it!'

Before the darkness could fully carry him away to that awesome place known as the realm of sleep and relaxation, he felt a rough object bounce off of his spiky blond hair, causing him to mumble his lips, and scrunch his face.

Upon opening his eyes, Naruto saw a screwed-up piece of paper on his desk, "What's this?" He wondered, sitting up straight and gripping the balled-up paper in his hand. He unfolded it with a perplexed scratch to his hair, smoothing the paper out to make out the words on it.

*I know your secret*

With a deadpan look being written on his face, Naruto positioned his elbow on the back of the chair, and shifted his body, so he could interact with a smirking redhead face to face, "Really?"

"Mr Uzumaki." Fujimura said sternly, drawing Naruto's attention to the front of the class, "You know the rules, no talking in class," He jerked his arm in the direction of the classroom's door, "Buckets."

It left Naruto speedily poking his index fingers in the culprit's direction, who was just whistling innocently, "Eh? Wait! It's not my fault I swear it! I was fram-."

With a dumbfounded expression being painted all over his whisker-marked face, it fell on the blond-haired young man that he would be getting a free pass to skip class.

"Yeah, you're right. What was I thinking?" Naruto asked with a sly smile and a cheeky wink.

The blond picked up his sunglasses and left his now vacant seat in one smooth motion, "Buckets it is, then! Heh! That will show me real good, coach!" Marching contently towards the exit, humming a jaunty tune to himself, he completely disregarded the odd inquisitive looks of the other students and a grumping Akane.

XxX

(Tendo Dojo)

XxX

Soun Tendo, martial arts extraordinaire and master to the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts, was many things.

A coward – sure; after all why take the option to fight, only to damage yourself if there was another, more simple, far less painful option to take?

A sloth – well, why do something today that you can do tomorrow? It helped when your daughter was an extremely independent strong young woman due to the fact she had followed _your _training program.

Overly dramatic – perhaps, but what single father wouldn't be? Bottling your emotions up was quite foolish if Soun Tendo said so himself.

Too chirpy – He had to put on the happy face for his three lovely daughters now to give off the illusion everything was going to be okay despite the loss of their light.

The darkest, most depressive day of Soun's life was the death of his beloved wife. Oh, how could fate be so cruel, throwing him and his family such a tragedy at such a high point in their lives? Akane had just grasped walking so well to the point she'd run all over the place, buzzing around so jovially it warmed her family proud.

But then the dark time hit like an abrupt period. Mrs Tendo was rushed into hospital after collapsing spontaneously in the kitchen while tending to her housewife duties. The doctor deduced that she was terminally ill, and that even their best medical doctors would not save her in time.

Soun didn't care. He demanded they try everything within their power to save his precious wife, but it seemed even Soun's wife had accepted her inevitable fate.

It filled Soun with an overwhelming sense of sadness hearing confirmation from his wife's very own lips that her demise was approaching, yet he stubbornly denied it. He grabbed her hand, dramatically vowing her that she would live no matter the cost.

And thus was the founding of the guilt that pegged at Soun's soul when the doctors informed him the very next day his wife had given up the fight for survival, the illness had won.

The loss of his wife was so great it destroyed any inspiration Soun once held for the art. This wasn't to say he didn't hold love for martial arts, and his school in general anymore, he just couldn't bring himself to train or dedicate his all into finding all styles, be it pro wrestling or the ways of the ninja, Soun used to pick up what he could from those styles to merge them with his own.

After all if he couldn't even accomplish his goal of safely curing the illness which took his dear wife then how could he even hope to take his school to new, unreached, glorious heights?

_He _couldn't fulfil his goal, but a younger, more invigorated heir could.

He needed Saotome's son to marry one of his lovely daughters, so he could carry on their legacy. Even before his wife died, Soun had been well aware of his age. He knew eventually as time goes on, he'd soon lose his power as old age claimed him.

Soun Tendo – current master of the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts – was many things, but a liar, he was _not_. He was positive Ranma was a boy, _she…he _had to be. Ranma just had to. Saotome wouldn't play a joke on him in a matter of such great importance as this!

No! Never! Soun would not believe it to be so!

Saotome knew as well as Soun did that their school was slowly dying out after they had *ahem* 'disposed' of the founder of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts.

Though at a time they would've loved nothing more but to blossom the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts' reputation, they knew their limits, as _humans. _Humans grow old and frail, that was a curse of being human. The one positive about being human was that humans could reproduce, thus passing down their knowledge and skills to their progenies, so they could continue on their legacy.

It was decided even before Ranma or anyone of Soun's daughters came into fruition that Soun and Genma would marry their kids to one another so they could carry on their parents' legacy.

Akane was a great martial artist and all, but in this stage and age the males dominated in all categories. People would be more inclined to study elsewhere, under what they believed to be a more competent male teacher rather than risk studying under an inferior female instructor, in their biased opinions.

It was sad, but no matter how much Soun trained Akane he still needed a male heir, for only a male heir would truly take the Anything Goes style to new heights.

'Saotome, where on earth could you be old friend?' Soun contemplated, taking a drag of a lit up cigarette. He had only just woken up, finding himself covered in a blanket with a pillow resting underneath his head.

After waking up Soun retrieved his cigarettes from the hidden compartment in the living room and moved to position himself on the edge of the porch, sitting in seiza there with a cigarette held in between his fingers, finding the inhale of tobacco momentarily coursing through his system soothing.

It was exactly what Soun needed in a time as stressful like this, the time of deep contemplation. _Oh, the horrors! _But a last it must be done.

Oh how could God's almighty divine will be so ruthless to him? Waa! It made him want to cry, but no! He wouldn't shed a single tear, not when his precious daughters needed a strong father around the house.

Another drag was needed to settle his rampaging emotions threatening to spiral out of control. It was as if all of his current worries were being lifted off of his shoulders, but sadly, the moment of tranquillity was only temporary.

"Did Saotome get… side-tracked along the way here?" Soun felt a deep, cold fear weighing the equivalent of ten hippopotamuses drop lifelessly inside of his empty, tunnel-like, stomach, with the sound echoing out for miles.

From what he could recall of last night's mini controversy, Kasumi and Naruto didn't run into a 'middle-aged' man, but a panda, as stated by Soun's lovely daughter, Kasumi.

"I say, wasn't there a panda on the back of the postcard Saotome sent me," Soun prodded. Admittedly, it was quite the ridiculous thought; his old friend – Saotome – as a _panda. _How would he accomplish such a feat of transforming himself into an animal?

"Haha," Soun chuckled chirpily, "What an absurd idea that is, Saotome as a panda!" That was about as believable as the evil master suddenly reappearing as a changed man. That was impossible. After all, one couldn't teach an old dog new tricks.

But Soun still couldn't shake the feeling he was missing something. It was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't quite get it. It must have had something to do with that letter, because after all, why would Saotome send a postcard with a specific picture of a panda on the back if he wasn't allied with the chinese animals?

"Hmm. Perhaps I'll check that letter Saotome sent me one more time," Soun decided, placing his cigarette in his ashtray to pat himself down, trying to tell by touch alone what part of his gi he had placed the postcard inside of, "Now that's odd, I could've sworn I had it on me." Soun picked himself up off of the ground and made his way into the living room.

"Now where'd I put that blasted thing?" Soun enquired rhetorically, clear frustration lacing across his brow. He scattered from one place of the living room to the other, with his hands a blurring motion the whole time, sorting through their valuables in the hope he could find what he was looking for.

"No," Soun stressed, a hand grasping the side of his head, "Where could it be?" Realizing there was one place in the living room that he hadn't checked, Soun dropped to his knees, crawling over to the table to search underneath its confines using his hand.

"Ah, father. You're awake." Soun paused in his searching for Saotome's letter at the sound of Kasumi's relieved, cheery voice. Glancing up, Soun found his eldest daughter standing in the entrance of the living room with a basket full of clothes in it.

"Ah, Kasumi-dear," Soun said, rather startled by Kasumi's sudden appearance. He struggled to explain his actions, "I was just looki-." Though he realized in the long run the explanation didn't matter being that he could just ask the oldest Tendo sibling had she seen the letter Saotome sent him.

"Never mind, dear," Kasumi blinked curiously at her coughing father, "You wouldn't happen to have seen Saotome's letter, have you dear?" Soun gave his daughter a hopeful, chirpy wide grin.

A look of understanding drowned on Kasumi's face, "Oh, Mr Saotome's letter," The Tendo patriarch just managed to hold himself back from squealing happily upon seeing Kasumi's smile of tenderness, "I placed it in your studies."

"Oh thank goodness," Soun breathed a sigh of relief, "I'll go take a look at it now."

"How come father?" Kasumi enquired, a blink of innocence catching Soun's eyes.

Soun stepped beside his daughter, "Well, it's," He paused, finding it difficult to put into words to piece together his theory, "I have a hunch that nice fellow you and Uzumaki-kun met with Ranma-_kun_… yesterday may, in actuality, be Saotome himself," Soun explained, calm for the most part other than cringing slightly at adding an honorific more suited for males than females on the end of Ranma's name.

"You mean Mr Panda?" Kasumi queried.

"Yes, that fellow," Soun confirmed with a straight-face.

"Are you sure, father?" Kasumi enquired softly, not wanting to come off as rude to her father by bluntly telling him his theory sounded quite farfetched, "He was only a nice panda."

"-A panda that was with Ranma-ku… _Ranma _around the time you and Uzumaki-kun met hi-. _Her," _Soun pressed on, hastily correcting himself.

His near-slip-ups were not messed by his innocent daughter, who gained a small knowing smile on her face, "Father, I think," She paused to sugar-coat her statement to her father, "-You may still consider Ranma-chan as a boy," Soun's wince was all the confirmation she needed, "Why is that? Do you still want one of us to marry her?"

"Kasumi, why I never would've imagined such a day would come!" Soun exclaimed dramatically, though after a moment's thought, he nodded his head in understanding, crossing his arms over his chest, "Well, I suppose I'm partly at fault for not telling you of the legacy Saotome and myself had been building before any of you, my lovely daughters,-" He cooed with a chirpy smile, "-Were even born. But, regardless of the fact of whether you had knowledge prior to our decision to carry on our legacy through our children, it _must_ be passed down to our children. The Anything Goes School of Martial Arts is near extinction, dear. Saotome and I will do everything in our power to see to it that our school lives on for many happy and joyous years to come… even after our deaths."

"Oh father," Kasumi sighed lightly, fidgeting a little to avoid her tiring limbs falling asleep.

"I hope you understand, dear," The blank, bland expression that quite obviously betrayed none of Soun's thoughts or emotions were more clear than a thousand words explaining precisely the same point.

He meant business.

"But father, I really don't want to marry a younger girl," Kasumi reluctantly confessed, her voice little louder than a murmur.

"Nonsense! If Saotome can hide as a panda, then I see no reason why the lad wouldn't dress up as a girl!" Soun reasoned happily, smiling victoriously. He didn't even need a reason for why Saotome and his 'son' would pose as an animal and a female. Just knowing they did was more than enough for him.

"I would much prefer to marry an older man," Kasumi mumbled her admittance.

"Then Nabiki will have to marry the lad!"

"Do you really think Nabiki-imouto will have any desire to settle down with one man, father?"

"Ah! Good point! Well that just leaves Akane-de-."

"Naruto-kun won't like that."

Soun cringed, slumping his shoulders, while glancing depressively at his daughter's bland expression, "Oh! How could fate be so cruel?" He moaned in exaggeration, sobbing.

"I'm sorry, father," Kasumi whispered in an apologetic fashion, wishing her hands were free so she could offer Soun a few comforting strokes on the back. She just continued to murmur soothing words to her sniffling father, "Things may be look bleak now, but I'm sure the future holds many happy moments for us all, so please don't be sad."

Soun rubbed his eyes, straightening himself, "You're right, dear. There's still always Nabiki-dear. Although she may not like the lad right now, but I'm confident she will if Ranma-kun proves he's a well-mannered lad with lots of,-" money, "A-Assets," He filled in the blanks sheepishly, "Yes. Why, she might even grow fond of the lad!" He ended with an optimistic chirp.

Kasumi could only sigh deferentially at her father, "Oh father."

Soun nodded his head firmly, "Now if you'll excuse me, dear, I must head to my studies to check the letter Saotome sent me. I'm sure he would've been here by now had you and Uzumaki-kun not met Ranma-kun yesterday."

"Naruto-kun wouldn't hurt Mr Saotome."

"Then why hasn't Saotome arrived here yet with Ranma-kun? What was the panda doing with Ranma-kun in the first place?" Soun attempted to reason. He didn't want to challenge his precious daughter, being that he could never find it in him to castigate anyone of his beautiful daughters, but he was desperate to prove a point.

Kasumi smiled, "Well they were fig-." Her smile fell off of her face, a reluctant look of sad acceptance taking its place.

"I hope I've made my point clear, dear," Soun said, his voice mild.

"But maybe Mr Panda and Ranma-chan were sparr-." Kasumi stopped her defence when a remembrance of Naruto protecting Ranma from Mr Panda's sneak attack flashed through her mind. Even she knew, one simply doesn't throw themselves in harm's way in a practise match.

"Yes, dear."

"It's nothing, father," Kasumi conceded, forcing a smile on her face.

Soun nodded, feeling self-assured, "Splendid," He began dawdling away from his oldest daughter, "Then it's settled! I shall have Saotome and Ranma-kun here in a week… I hope. Fear not! This is the beginning of a happy future for Ranma-kun and Nabiki-dear, I can assure it!"

"Of course, father," Kasumi agreed dutifully, waiting until her father's footsteps were out of earshot before letting out a sigh, "Oh, I do hope father won't be _too _disappointed in me for debating with him in this matter," Kasumi pivoted on her heels, traipsing towards the kitchen, "I do hope father won't be too sad if Nabiki-imouto doesn't want to marry Ranma-chan."

She would cling onto the small hope that her father would forget all about chosen heirs and heiresses to live a happy life.

XxX

(Furinkan High School)

XxX

"Hmm-mmm, on bucket-duty, yes siree. And I'm gonna do my very damn best at it!"

Another one of the finer points of Furinkan High School, standing outside of the classroom holding two buckets filled with cold freezing water. Score!

The oddly hair coloured shinobi of the traditional redhaired Uzumaki clan had to use every last ounce of willpower coursing through his veins to keep himself from doing a crazy, silly victory dance in the hallway-.

_Sike_.

Oh! Who was he kidding? He did dance and more, all to give Fujimura a reason to leave him outside, instead of recalling him into class to be apart of the snore fest. _Boring_!

Would he be getting a scolding from Akane-chan? Well, yeah! That's obvious, but is the eventual ear full from Akane worth it to miss one boring lesson?

Hell yeah!

You better believe it!

Not to say he didn't _try_ and pay attention in class, being that he told himself he would, it was just so _boring_. This school was almost exactly like the academy, with the only difference being a big one, and one that Naruto didn't particularly like.

No training. At all.

Normal blows.

Learning to fight like a badass ninja in the academy had easily been the best part for Naruto in his tedious time in the academy. That was what Naruto dreamt about in his sleep back in his early childhood years; going to the academy to be taught to run off walls, learn cool jutsus, kickass fighting styles, and other cool stuff, yeah!

But then the handwritten stuff came up, ugh! Just thinking about studying was enough to sour Naruto's mood. It was so lame; right up there with _chakra control_, sitting perfectly still with a green leaf on his forehead. _That!_

Though, if he was being reluctantly honest with himself, Naruto would admit the day when he and his fellow delinquents sprinted out on Iruka after the chunin-coach had instructed them to keep leaves on their foreheads using their chakra as a way to help improve not only their control, but also their concentration, held a special place in his heart.

'Yeah. We really slacked off back then,' Naruto thought with a sigh of fond reminiscence. He remembered the day, as if it was only yesterday, of him and Kiba reading manga in the training hall, with Choji stuffing his face with crisp, and Shikamaru… Heh. He was just chilling, and that was putting it mildly.

The guy was probably riding clouds in his sleep.

Those were the days.

Before nostalgia could truly submerge Naruto in its endless sea of memories, a rough cushy object bounced off of his whisker-decorated face, abruptly covering his sunglasses-clad eyes, and obscuring his view of the window displaying the wonderful outside world. With his face as blank as a cleaned up chalkboard, he picked up the sounds of shuffling followed by a thud.

"What's this?" Naruto wondered, finding his answer himself just by turning his head downward, "Hey, my schoolbag!" This, now this right here meant a good sign; the indication that class had ended. Booyah!

Naruto turned his head at the sound of an annoyed huff, grinning widely at Akane. She was flanked on one side of her by Ranma, with the other two girls, Sayuri and Yuki, standing directly behind them. Only now did Naruto take notice to the students rapidly filling the hallway to head elsewhere, "Hey, Akane-chan!" He greeted perkily.

"Oh, now you want to talk!" Akane questioned with her fury increasing, making Sayuri and Yuki grin nervously behind her.

Naruto winced, silently wishing he could at least knock the taunting grin off of Ranma's face, "Well… you se-."

"Just save your excuses for the jury, bub-!"

"-'Cause the judge's already declared ya guilty!"

Akane rewarded the quick witted redhead with a prideful smirk, "What she said!"

Naruto held out his arms to the sides, disappointedly shaking his head from side to side as he basically folded in this round, "So, I guess it's lunch time, huh?"

Akane fumed, "I bet you would be happy about that huh!" It was more of a hard, tough statement than a question.

"Can't lie there," And Naruto easily admitted such in a simple relaxed fashion. He turned his head to the left with a look of understanding being painted on his face, "So I'm guessing the guys went on without me, huh?" Ranma lifted an eyebrow, looking like a cute little kid with a face of curiosity.

How did Goldie locks know the guys from his loon squad had headed in that direction?

"Obviously!" Akane just groused, "Honestly, if you wasn't too busy zoning out you would've known they decided to play soccer in the playground! They were waving their hands in front of your face Knucklehead!"

Now that look of surprise which appeared on Naruto's face was worth more to Ranma than a trip back to China, "Woops," He knew he goofed, 'Was I _that _out of it?' He shrugged, 'Oh well, it's not like I wanted to play soccer or anything. I would rather just chow down on some ramen now,' He chuckled.

"No matter, I'll catch up to 'em later," Naruto decided, bending down to swoop up his backpack before coolly positioning it on his shoulder, his typical easy-going foxy grin on his face, "I'm starved," Turning his back on the ladies, Naruto rose his hand up, "So if you don't mind I think I'll be go-."

"Not so fast _you_!" Akane curtly demanded, washing Naruto's face clean of any anticipation or happiness, leaving an expression of clear lack of response.

"S'up?" Naruto asked.

Akane stiffly turned away from Naruto, tossing a thumb in a grinning redhead's direction, "You're taking Ranma with you!"

Ranma casually ambled forward, "Looks like ya'll have someone sitting at yer table Goldie locks," She quipped in a teasing fashion.

Naruto's head fell to one side with a clueless look, "Eh?" Akane rolled her eyes, "Not that I'm not happy that you want to eat with me but… why?" Naruto enquired, arms now crossed over his chest and eyes squinted, searching for the right words to phrase his explanation, "Yeah, let's go with that? Why?"

Ranma just offered him a shrug, "Akane said ya chow down on the rooftop, right?"

"Right."

"Seems like a swell spot ta stuff yer face in ta me, and yer my ride anyway, so yeah," Ranma laughed as if she knew herself she wouldn't buy this even on her worst day, though she looked at Naruto with a shining gleam in her eye, "'Sides, a little one on one sounds right 'bout up my alley, now. Whaddya say, _Romao,_" Her taunting lecherous tone may not have gotten her desired response from Naruto, it was still enough to get Akane to whirl on her with a disbelieving expression on her face.

Sayuri and Yuki's expression could basically be related to two audience members viewing Jerry Springer front row-and-centre.

Naruto, for the most part, let out a long drawled out hum, complete with his patented squinted eyes he did whatever he was in deep contemplation or just outright frustrated. He came up blank even with Akane's heated glare honed in on him.

"Alrighty, then," Naruto said, pivoting on his heels so his back was facing Ranma, "Hop on the Naruto express."

"First class here I come," Ranma joked with a smirk, leaving Akane sputtering aimlessly, while Yuki and Sayuri both let out anticipated noises which left Naruto perplexed, 'Just like hopping on a bike.' Ranma thought warily to herself, positioning her hands on Naruto's shoulders. With a quick deep breath, Ranma hopped once, ignoring the surge of pain to instead clamp her legs on Naruto's hips.

"You okay? Did you have any problems getting on?" Naruto questioned.

"Yuuup…_ Just craptastic_ up here!" Ranma said in a high pitched voice, mustering up a pained grin and a shaky thumbs-up, "Heh. I hardly even broke a sweat." When Naruto nodded, Ranma dropped her smirk to glare grumpily at the top of her carrier's crown, 'Just ya wait, Goldie locks. Wait 'till I'm finished with ya. Ya'll be begging me ta cover my tracks! Hahahaha! There's just no stopping this crazy genius!'

"Cool," Naruto said with a grin, Akane settling for a moody scowl, "Now we can get going!" Excitement was surging all through Naruto who couldn't help, but start humming a chirpy tune on his starting few steps to the cafeteria, "I'm hungry, and only a fresh served heaping batch of ramen can settle my hunger!" He drooled.

His declaration of ramen caught Akane's attention whom expression symbolized that something had clicked within the recess of her mind, "Oh, yeah! That reminds me!" With her anger pushed aside, Akane rose her arm up, "Hey, Naruto!" She called, dropping her arm to reach into her handbag.

Naruto stopped, half turning his body to get a look at Akane fishing through her handbag, "Yeah, Akane-chan?" He said inquisitively, "What is it?" He winced silently from a neatly wrapped up small rectangle object shoved into his face, "Oh, it's that..." He laughed humourlessly, "Yay."

"I made you lunch!" Akane declared cheerfully, a sweet smile on her face.

Ranma covered her mouth with her two hands, trying to strife her snickers upon picking up on how bipolar Akane was, 'She's 'bout as two-sided as a coin.'

"Mmm, yeah," Naruto said, a nervous sweat building up on his face, "I… err, hmm."

"Well!" Akane probed hastily, her smile still glued on her face.

"It's, uhm, not that I don't want to try your cooking, Akane-chan," To Ranma's curiosity, Naruto took two steps back, holding up his hands while still offering his confused friend a sheepish grin, "I-I… uhm… ya' know, just had a craving for ramen. Otherwise I would totally chow down on your cooking any day."

Naruto gave Akane what he hoped was a winning smile.

It didn't get bought. Buying his explanation was the furthest thing on Akane's mind. Instead, she lowered her head with an almost sad look on her face, "So that's it huh?" The blond winced sharply, folding up his lips, "You'd still prefer to stuff your face with _your precious_ ramen then save yourself some money by eating the cooking _I_ worked hard to make… just for you!" She got teary-eyed, eliciting sympathetic expressions to appear on the faces of Yuki and Sayuri, whom both stepped up to flank her on either side to comfort her.

"It's alright Akane-chan. He doesn't know what he's missing."

"Yeah. Jerks like him never appreciate anything."

"N-No!" Naruto was quick to attempt to clear up any misunderstandings, "It's not like that… I swear!"

Akane gazed back up to look at Naruto, her sadness leaving the stage to make way for her fury, which came sliding back out on its knees in full effect, "What is it then?"

'Flipped!' Ranma smirked, her cheeks puffing up from the failing attempt to hold in her snickers, 'He's getting taken down a harsh trip down guilt-lane.'

"It's just…" Naruto weakly tried.

"It's just what!?" Akane bellowed. The stubborn girl shot out her arms in a forward motion with a stern look, "I worked hard to make this just for you, knucklehead! The least you could do is try it!"

"Yeah! You should be grateful to have someone as kind and well talented as Akane-chan looking after you, Uzumaki!"

"Jerk!"

Naruto held a palm to his forehead, wincing at the bento box practically shoved in his face while Akane expectantly waited for him to take it, her firm stance never yielding, "Alright, already," The blonde folded, grasping the box with both hands, before pulling it away from Akane, "I'll just stuff my face with this, then." Naruto relented, failing to hide the disappointment in his voice, 'There's just no winning against Akane-chan.'

"You're damn right you will!" Akane stated as if it was as true as the sky being blue and the grass being green. While Naruto let out a sigh, Akane looked up at the redhead perched contently on his back, a smirk on her face, "Oh! And I'll be checking with Ranma to make sure you've eaten every last bite mister!" Her tone went sweet as she addressed Ranma, "I'm sure I can count on you for that, right Ranma?"

"Oh, do you even need ta ask?" Ranma said with her own smirk.

"Nope!" Akane chirped, "You hear that, Naruto? I've got my eyes on you!" She smirked in an exceedingly arrogant manner.

Naruto sighed, "Fine," He mumbled, offering up a painfully obvious sheepish laugh, "I… didn't even... _want_ ramen anyway. Yup. This is all I need…" He gave Akane what he hoped was a reassuring grin but apparently she saw right through it since she huffed, looking away from Naruto.

With a sigh, Naruto turned around, dawdling away from the girls, "Let's get going Ranma."

"Heh. I betta buckle up then!" Ranma gushed jokingly, "'Cause the first stop's the cafeteria!"

"Eh?"

"What? Did'ya think you were the only one who could eat a horse?" Oh that was _so_ cute. Sike! "Betta think again, bud. I got 'nuff room in this gut a' mine ta pack away a mansion! Now I wonder what I should go fer that can satisfy me?" She made a show of placing her finger to her chin, humming in thought, "I know," An excessively wide wry grin developed on Ranma's face, "Yep. I know just the thing that'll do the trick."

The suggestive way Ranma was talking left Naruto with a dreaded feeling deep in his gut as a reluctant expression of realization appeared on his face, "Hehe. You don't mean…" He swallowed hard, not wanting to finish his sentence in case by some miracle Ranma wasn't contemplating on choosing his all-time favourite meal as her meal of choice.

"Hey, yer not as dumb as you look."

That confirmed it.

Now Ranma just had to play the waiting game with an expectant smirk on her face.

"In three, two, one…"

"Nooooooooooo!"

Ranma snickered.

"Okay! That's never gonna get old!"


	6. Cat Out of the Bag

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Ranma - If I did own Naruto, he would emulate Yusuke Urameshi, not Son Goku.**

**Standard****.**

* * *

**The Eternal Burden **

A small, barely noticeable, sigh of resentment escaped the money-loving young woman's lips. With the proverbial chip hanging over her shoulder, Nabiki coolly sauntered through the halls of Furinkan High School with a wad of notes in hand now that recess was in play.

Of course Nabiki wouldn't be spending her own easy-earned money on food, what did people take her for? She had her cash-cow Kuno-baby to give her such petty things, though more recently the aspiring samurai had been waning on her nerves.

There wasn't much which could ruffle the ice-cold gold digger's feathers. She intended to take most things in stride, be it a failing grade or her father falling sick, none of that mattered to Nabiki Tendo.

There were only two things that annoyed the middle Tendo sibling.

A: When someone – presumably someone all about the muscle - went against her, like Naruto, for as smart as she was, she was little more than an ant to a warrior of Naruto's calibre. It didn't matter whether Naruto ranked below average on the school exam board, over ten points higher than Kuno, while she ranked dangerously close to the top, all that was thrown to the wayside when he could simply overpower her if she tried any funny business with him.

Nabiki cleverly tried to do Naruto a favour by giving him the rooftop as if she owned the school, and even got Kuno off of his back… temporarily, but returning her 'kind gesture' with an I.O.U was the last thing Naruto had intended for her. Instead, Nabiki was shoved up against the wall with a pair of strong hands entrapping her throat.

Nabiki knew right there and then while Naruto's love for Akane gave her little sis a pass from his murderous intent, likewise his mutual respect for Kasumi gave her big sis the same privilege, someone like her had no such luck against the blond haired young man. Naruto didn't like her, and didn't feel inclined to not rise his fists against her, especially if getting physical could get her off of his back.

No matter which angle Nabiki looked at it she could not manipulate Naruto like the other fools around this school, he'd too much power, and that irked her to no end.

Point B was very simple yet so prominent - when anyone caused her income from her betting pools to dip. Nabiki despised losing money. She could honestly say she'd prefer to sell off a member of her own family if it meant keeping her money intact.

This was why she felt nothing but frustration for her cash-cow, Tatewaki Kuno at this very minute. Of course, as was par usual, she rounded in a few bets with the students of Furinkan High to see how long Kuno could last against Naruto, but most had already started to clock on that Kuno wouldn't get anywhere against Naruto, except a free trip to the nurse's office.

Heck if it wasn't for Akane pleading with Naruto to go easy on Kuno, Nabiki knew the mock-samurai would've already been put in a coma by the powerful shinobi. No matter how annoying Kuno or any other boy for that matter was, Akane could just not stand to see them _too _badly injured.

Nabiki deduced that was why many boys lusted (after) her little sis, because her inner beauty _partially _matched her outer beauty.

Despite the somewhat 'advantage' Kuno may have had in his battles against Naruto, less students actually took part in Nabiki's hosted bet of the fight then they did last time, which all meant her finances was steadily, _declining_…

Nabiki took in a minuscule, disguised sigh through her nostrils to school her emotions, keeping her poker-face firmly in place over her features.

It wouldn't do any good to lose her cool in front of her pawns now, would it? She just needed to stay calm and think things through strategically…

"Nabiki-sama!"

Nabiki stopped her wanderings through the school at the call of her name. Coolly turning her head over her shoulder, Nabiki spotted two non-descript girls running up to her with clear urgency cross their brows. Despite them being her 'subordinates' Nabiki showed no concern for the two girls' exhausted states.

"Report." Instead, Nabiki went straight to business.

The girls immediately straightened from their bent over at the waist positions with their hands on their knees to slow down their rapidly beating heart rates, "T-There's a new transfer student!" The ponytailed, black haired girl said, still winded from the running she did to catch up to Nabiki.

So far, Nabiki's eyes held a mild interest and she gave the two a nod of her head, "And who might this student be? To be more specific, what gender is this mystery student? What age group is he or she in? Has he or she found a group of friends? Those sorts of things," Nabiki explained, a small, sly smile forming across her face, "Please, don't be shy now. Information is one of the key factors in rising up the financial ladder."

The girls glanced nervously at each other, feeling a little uncomfortable with their leader's predator tendencies.

"Well," The bespectacled twin braided, light brown haired girl said, starting off the practiced synchronized briefing, "From what we could gather, the student appears to be a she."

"-And she's in your sister's class-."

"-And appears to have a mutual friendship with Akane-san-."

"-But she was last sighted with Uzumaki, madam."

Nabiki gobbled up all of the wonderful information with a smirk, "So," She practically marvelled what was to come, "Little sis appears to have competition for her man."

"Umn. You could look at it like that." The twin-braided girl reasoned.

Nabiki droned contemplatively, "Name."

"Ranma Saotome."

For a brief moment the girls were almost sure they saw a touch of surprise lift open Nabiki's eyes, but just like the Flash, it was gone, her half-lidded, predator look returning, "Ranma Saotome, you say," The girls blinked.

"Yes," The ponytailed underling confirmed, "Do you know of her already, Nabiki-sama?"

Nabiki graced her subordinate with a sarcastic smile, "Oh. I do fear that's going to cost you," She almost chuckled when the two flinched, before wincing in remembrance. Nabiki never gave information out unless it was for a high price. And when she in return received any info of value one should expect her to use it to bring in more money.

"Uhhh… never mind, Nabiki-sama," The twin-braided girl spoke for the ponytailed one.

Nabiki shrugged, offering her employees two words, before coolly ambling down the hallway, "Suit yourself."

The two fell in stride with their leader, "Nabiki-sama, if I may," The ponytailed girl winced from the expectant look Nabiki gave her from the corner of her eye, "I meant do you have plans for us to take in bets to see who Uzumaki will end up with: Miss Saotome or Miss Akane, madam."

Ah. There was something Nabiki couldn't charge them for receiving; their task. After all, who ever heard of a boss taking in payrolls from his own employees for them to do their _actual_ jobs? The thought was absurd when put like _that. Well played, _Nabiki couldn't help but silently applaud her flunkey's quick thinking. Still, there were other ways she could benefit of relaying their task to them.

Nabiki tapped the bridge of her nose, "Tut, tut. That's for me to know, and for you to find out," As if sensing her underlings' slow descendent into sadness, she threw them a bone, "At ease, girls. I think it's about time I decided to pay my adorable little sis a visit," Nabiki declared, her voice taking on a sardonic chirpy tone.

A stiff nod let her lackeys know to follow her lead, to which they did, both of them paying no mind whatsoever to the dark, amused smile which engraved itself on Nabiki's lips, complete with a shadow looming over her eyes. She truly looked like someone whose only pleasure was the misery of others.

'Now to get the show on the road, the seed of doubt must be planted in little sis. _How challenging._'

_Not._

This was going to be a field day.

_xXx_

**Cat **

**Out **

**of **

**the**

**Bag**

_xXx_

_(_Elsewhere - Location Undisclosed - With Naruto and Ranma)

xXx

"Mm~hmm. Now _this _hits the ol' hunger spots!"

Naruto glared at the play-acting redhead from where he was perched on top of the elevated door leading to the rooftop, the hot heat from the radiating sun only proceeding to further escalate his temper.

Damn it. He wished he would've dropped Ranma off somewhere else the moment he took her to the cafeteria to pick up her ramen. Of course the two were graced with numerous whispers and gossips coming from the other students seeing Naruto carrying the new girl – piggyback style – on his back, not that the two really cared about that.

A quick glare from Naruto, Furinkan High's top warrior, silenced them all.

"Okay, now you're just milking it," Naruto said, hardening his glare at the smiling redhead.

Still with chopsticks in her mouth, the redhead particularly relished the taste of noodles mixed with pork, onions, and lettuce with a purposefully drawled out pleasurable hum, "What do you mean Goldie locks?" She asked in feigned ignorance, dipping her chopsticks into her big ramen-filled plastic cup to _slowly _stir the broth, "I thought I was just sayin how tasty this ramen is," She wrapped the noodles around her chopsticks, making sure to lift an extra big piece of pork on it before bringing the food towards her mouth with an, "Aaaaah."

_Ouch. _

To the blonde's ever loving increasing frustration, he had to watch the cheeky rude young woman excessively sickle on the sweet taste of broth-induced noodles and pork. The martial artist greedily delayed the swallowing to unnecessary relish the taste the chewing brought to her taste-buds to really drive home the point to Naruto: I'm eating your favourite meal. Ha-ha!

"_That!_" Naruto roared furiously, pointing an index finger at the now swallowing redhead, "You're just pretending to like ramen so much to rub the fact that I haven't got any ramen in my face! Aren't you? I'm on to you," The whisker-faced shinobi declared confidently, though moaned silently from a content burp which echoed through the air from Ranma's mouth, 'Ohhhh. What I wouldn't do for a little taste of ramen.'

Ranma skilfully twirled the chopsticks, "O, now why would I do that, Goldie locks? It's not like ya didn't trip me into a wall or 'nuthin."

Naruto gave the redhead a dry squinted eyed stare, "Trip, huh?" He pried his eyes open a bit to catch the angry, fierce look the haughty martial artist sent him, "Don't you mean how I threw your _bitch _ass to the curb?" He probed, giving Ranma a silly, wide grin.

"Aw, get over it. It was 'nuthin but a fluke."

With the opportunity presented, Naruto was determined to turn the tide in Ranma's corner, "And what about yesterday?" His smirk never left his whisker-marked face, "You know, when I flicked you down with my two fingers alone?" He cupped his ear with his hand and turned it in Ranma's direction as if offering her a microphone, "Yeah, I guess you're right. That was just a _one-off _too, huh?"

"Can it!" Ranma warned.

Naruto retracted his head, crossing his arms over his chest with a victorious smile on his face, "Ha! Looks like I won this round, hey Ranma?"

"Ya ain't won nuthin' yet!" Ranma was still very much clinging onto the small rope of hope that she could emerge victorious from this war like a rabid dog, "Just wait 'till I get finished with ya, Goldie locks," she was smirking in full now, "Case ya didn't realize, those first two _practice _rounds we had were '_nuthin _but a warm up, fer us ta get ready fer the real fight. Come game time you're going down. Hehe." She snickered in an exceedingly overconfident manner.

Naruto could only offer the egotistical martial artist a shake of his head in passive disgust, "Okay, guess I can't argue with you there," He seemingly agreed, allowing time to age the self-satisfied grin on Ranma's face, "I just wonder how much that stick up your ass cost."

And just like that the smirk on Ranma's face evaporated, to be replaced by a defensive frown.

"More than yer pad!"

"At least I've got one."

Ranma flinched, more at the implications of Naruto's retort, than the actual comeback itself, her eyes blinking dumbly at the grumpy-looking young man. The shinobi merely jerked his head to his right, prompting Ranma to look to her left, but all she found was her stuffed up backpack.

"Could just be me, but it either looks like you raided the clothes store or you packed to take a trip around the world," Naruto said, whiling his head back to Ranma to level her with a half-lidded glance, "What's it gonna be?"

Ranma pouted, crossing her arms with a dismissive, snotty noise escaping her lips, "Aw, mind yer own beeswax!" She grumbled, "I'm A-Okay without you sticking your nose into things your Gaijin-butt ain't even a part of, so mmm!" She childishly stuck her tongue out at Naruto.

"Is that between begging for money and living in trash-cans?" Naruto enquired. Surprisingly, from the heated, electrifying glare Ranma sent him, she missed the earnest in Naruto's voice and eyes. Instead, the redhaired Uzumaki-looking young woman unfolded her arms, picking up her plastic-cup of ramen and harshly beginning to dig in once again.

Naruto sighed, taking his own chopsticks from where he had left them; right on top of Akane's cooking, 'Oh boy, oh boy,' His voice sarcastically rang out in the recess of his mind upon looking down at the dish Akane had prepared him; shrivelled up, dry pawns, next to a mini mountain of messy rice, lettuce, chunks of fish chopped up abysmally, and he didn't even want to know what those dark green dried up mini balls were.

The blond lifted up his chopsticks in between his fingers, 'Well,' Naruto mused, scooping up a piece of rice and a pawn in his chopsticks, 'It looks tasty enough, I gotta give her credit for that,' He brought the food close up to give it a full squinted eyed concentrated stare, 'Meh. Don't knock it 'till you try it I guess,' The chopsticks drove into the dark entrance that was Naruto's mouth before the shinobi began to take a few experimental bites.

"Hm?" With delicious, tasty noodles hanging from her mouth, Ranma had to quickly slurp them up, or risk spitting them out from the tatters coming from her throat upon seeing Naruto cringe. She had to block her mouth with both her hands in order to have a decent shot of silencing her chuckles when Naruto's face began to turn a sickly green.

"Looks like someone shoulda got a doc's note this morning," Ranma said in a witty manner, sending the shinobi a mocking grin.

Naruto couldn't even be bothered to return the annoyingly taunting smirk a glare, since he was busy trying not to throw up, "Akane-chan's great at a lot of things, but cooking…" He clamped his hand over his mouth, forcefully re-swallowing the food wanting to come back up, "Cooking isn't one of 'em."

"Aw, you poor thing," Ranma sarcastically comforted Naruto, reaching over to pat his head until he swatted her hand away, pouting at her, "Too bad, you know, 'cause if you had me as your chef I guarantee you'd come back running ta me with drool falling from your trap, begging yours truly fer seconds."

Naruto looked incredulous, "You can cook?"

Ranma nodded, looking proud, "I sorta had to, ya' know. It was either between me or my old man ta decide who cooks back when we were hitting the road. And Pop's cooking…" Ranma shuddered, "Let's just say I would rather take my chances stuffing my face with mud and worms than tryin' his cooking. No thanks."

The blond appeared mildly interested as he chewed on this information given to him by Ranma. With her presence still lingering around here in Japan despite her plans to head to China only yesterday, he had figured her to be highly dependent on her father, but then again maybe that was wrong of him to assume that of her without knowing her.

"So you spent most of your life hitting the open roads with your dad, then," Naruto assumed.

Ranma nodded, not sure how the conversation had turned civil, but was secretly glad to have a guy-to-guy talk with another guy, "Yup! And lemme say, if you think you've seen hard ass training then you ain't trained 'till you've undergone Pop's military training camp."

"Oh. I think I've endured my fair share of training." Naruto assured, taking another hard bite of the seafood made for him by Akane, scrunching up his face at the sickening taste of it hitting his throat.

Ranma smirked.

"Ya sure 'bout that Goldie locks?"

"Try me."

"Okay. Did any of your training include being tried ta the front of a moving train when you couldn't even keep up with a moving truck?"

Naruto dropped his chopsticks, widening his eyes while he began inadvertently choking on his food, much to Ranma's amusement, but instead of insisting the struggling blond, she pressed on.

"Or how 'bout dodging a bunch a' pissed off bees?"

Naruto was still busy trying to beat his stuck food down his throat and towards his digestive system by batting his fist against his chest to really reply to Ranma's question.

"And if that wasn't 'nuff ta make ya think twice 'bout Pop's training program, then how does getting dangled from a tree rolled up in… _fuzzy-butt_s' food fer a mob a' angry fur-balls ta try their luck at getting ta snack on ya fer grub!"

Naruto's face was practically purple from the lack of air, yet Ranma's smirk continued to grow.

"How's that? Does that hit any alarm bells?"

Naruto had gulped down his food hard, inhaling as much in relief as it was from shock, "No way, your old man really put you through all that!" Ranma gave him confirmation in the form of a nonchalant nod, "Holy hell, and I thought my sensei wasn't training me enough! Compared to you, I easily got the better end of the stick."

Ranma looked like she was in her own little world before Naruto even finished his sentence, "Now I can't even go near… c-c-ca… fuzz-balls," She managed in a low, stuttering voice, with evident fear in her eyes.

Her voice was not only still heard by Naruto, but it also triggered a remembrance in the shinobi's head, "Wait, fuzz-butts? Don't you mean cats?" An idea popped into his head upon seeing Ranma cringe, "Oh," He smirked mischievously, "You're afraid of cats, huh?" He laughed, joyously clapping his hands together, "Oh this is rich, little Ranma's afraid of the little bastards."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"AM NOT!"

Ranma roared stubbornly, huffing with a sweaty face while Naruto levelled her with a suspicious gaze.

"So," Ranma feared the probing casual tone of Naruto, "Say, metaphorically speaking, If I," He confidently jerked a thumb at himself, then made a ram sign, "-Were to transform myself into a little fuzz-butt _you _shouldn't be afraid," He smiled, half silly, half self-satisfied at Ranma's pouting determined expression, "Right?"

"Hell yeah! Ain't no fuzz butt in the world can scare Ra-. Wait. What 'bout a tranfor-?"

"**Henge no Jutsu (Transformation technique)**!"

"Henge no wha-?" Ranma started, being cut off from an eruption of smoke coming from Naruto, making her cough horribly, "Ack! What in the heck did that cooking do ta your stomach Goldie locks, 'cause all sorts a' wind's coming from your butt?"

"Meow."

Ranma fearfully shrank back as if her life depended on it at the characteristic content crying of a small feline animal, "C-C-C-C-C-C-C…" She stammered loudly, not realizing in her scramble to get away from the dispensing smoke containing the dreaded creature from her worst nightmares she had accidentally spilled her ramen; not that she cared for food anymore in the least.

Her only hope was for whatever was in the cloud of smoke _wouldn't _be a dog's worst enemy.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," Ranma repeated aimlessly, trembling at the very core. Mentally, even if she wasn't a religious girl, she prayed to whatever god was up in the big white sky known as heaven that she wouldn't have to run away from a furry demonic four legged feline.

The cloud of smoke finally faded away.

The end result was, god blows.

"Meow," The devilish 'creature' Goldie locks had majestically switched himself out for purred contently, cutely lifting up a paw to give a friendly wave to the frozen pigtailed martial artist.

To Ranma, that 'cat' might have well had been the devil itself charging up a continent-destroying energy beam for all the fear it gave her, "Kyaaaaa!" Pivoting on her heels, Ranma floored her speed to the max, all in the hopes of getting away from the cat that effortlessly kept pace with her all the way. Her aching back and bruises burned, but she managed to ignore the injuries Naruto gave her earlier in the day to keep on running, "Get it away from me, get it away from me!" She cried.

The scene looked oddly amusing; a couple of blurs, red and grey, spinning around so fast they created a complete – full circle - whirlwind twister.

"Okay, okay, okay, Goldie locks!" Ranma screamed desperately, "I get it, I get it! You've made your point already, just make it go away! Pleaseeeee!" She stopped dead in her tracks when a light, soft, pillow-like object landed delicately on top of her head.

Ranma trembled, slowly turning her eyes upwards to be met with the mischievous ocean blue eyes of her tormentor.

"Meow."

A bloodcurdling scream of immense terror shattered the peace of chirping birds, startling them so much they flapping wings could be heard as they took to the sky, determined to get out of the danger zone, "Kyaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The cat fell from its perch on Ranma's head, but as soon as its four legs touched the concrete floor, it immediately erupted in a burst of smoke, clearing up to reveal a chuckling Naruto.

"Hahahahahahaha!" The blond held his stomach with his arms, his guffaws threatening to knock him over, "You should see the look on your face," While Ranma stood with her head lowered, tears of laughter sprung to Naruto's eyes, "You looked like a little scaredy cat… no pun intended."

After lifting his sunglasses slightly to wipe his eyes, Naruto figured it was time to reap the rewards of his prank on Ranma, unless, by some miracle, she had a retort for him, which he highly doubted she did.

"Come on," Naruto insisted cheerily, looking at the silent Ranma with his typical jovial attitude full on display, "You gotta admit it was a little funny, haha. You were hightailing it away as if a tiger was after you," His next set of laughter only lasted a few seconds when he quickly realized Ranma wasn't joining in with him.

In fact, she wasn't doing _anything_.

That was, alarming.

Maybe the redhead was just giving the blond the silent treatment.

Naruto shrugged, "I'm gonna finish off my meal, don't know about you thou-." He stopped himself when he spotted Ranma's ramen cup tilted over, and tucked on the side of his collar nervously, "Oh, that," It all made sense now. Naruto could understand anyone's ire if their ramen got spilled over.

Heck, someone who knocked someone else's ramen over was basically asking for a beating.

"My bad," Naruto said lamely, rubbing the side of his neck. He sighed once he still never got a response from the unresponsive Ranma, "Look, I'll make it up to you sometime okay. Not now, because I'm kinda broke. But someday I'll b-."

"Meow."

"Eh?" Naruto instantly whipped his head in Ranma's direction to give her a strange look, yet the redhead only raised her head, her eyes narrowed into small slits, imitating a cat's, her cheeks were a little puffed out with a small, perpetual cute grin on her face, and she lifted up her hand as if it was a paw to give Naruto a wave.

"Meow."

Yin Kurama lifted open his massive red slitted eyes to watch this in Naruto's mind.

With one hand on his hip, the Super Saiyan-looking Uzumaki gave a scratch to his scalp, "Alright, I know that last one might have been a wee bit overboard, but there's no need to act like a cat, Ranma," Naruto stated, walking over to stand in front of the purring Ranma, "I mean it's not gonna work."

Cat-Ranma suddenly bent down on all fours, giving the blond a violent hiss.

"Hm. Okay, let's try a different approach," Naruto said, in an odd bland tone of voice. With that, Naruto brought his knuckles down hard on Ranma's head, getting her to let out a terrified 'meow' before shrinking away from Naruto, "What's gotten into you?"

Naruto took another couple of steps towards the strange redhaired girl, but all she did was lift up her backside while on all fours, as if she really was a cat, and hissed threateningly at him.

"Uh-uh," Naruto said, giving Ranma a bizarre look, "I think I broke her."

"**Aw. She's so cute.**" Despite Kurama's extremely rare show of pleasantry coming out, the other biju and Naruto only dryly nodded their heads in response, "**You should keep her, Naruto**."

"**Trust you to say that!**" Shukaku bitched.

Kurama formed a giant fist out of his paw, placing it against his cheek to give his brother a half amused glance, "**You don't say? I forgot rat-dogs had such a great **_**alliance **_**with an even greater animal,**" He sarcastically said, making Shukaku scowl, "**Well, isn't that just **_**fantastic.**_"

"**Shut up, and go back to your fur balls, fuzz-butt**!" Shukaku grumbled.

"**Oooo, what a comeback,**" Kurama sardonically applauded, "**I can only imagine how long it must have taken you to come up with that one. Yes, truly you're an**_** inspirational-figure **_**to **_**under-rats **_**anywhere.**"

"**Ugh.**"

"**Aw, and now daddy-boy's throwing a tantrum**."

"**I hate you!**"

"**I love you too.**"

"**Ugh.**"

Kurama's snickering was the last he heard before he tuned out the mental connection linking the blond with all the Bijus in his mindscope to focus on bringing the angry seething cat-Ranma back to reality.

"Now, Ranma," Naruto started, slowly treading towards the hissing young woman who backed away with each step he took, holding up his hands in a placating gesture, "There's no need to act like some fur-ball, so stop whatever defence mechanism you've got going on and we can continue…" Not with eating, "-With our day."

With one last hiss, Ranma lunged at the guilty-looking blond haired young man with a textbook spring-boarded elevated leap of her limbs, taking a slash at his head, to which he majestically dodged by vanishing in one instance and reappearing in the next; only a few inches from his original spot.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Naruto raged, shaking his fist at the possessed redhead upon asking her his rhetorical question. Of course he knew what was wrong with her; she was bat-shit crazy, attacking him like that in her condition. Granted, he had put her in that condition, but oh well, she had it coming to her. Easy.

"Stop this, Ranma. You're going to hurt yourself," Naruto insisted in a pleading tone of voice, but Ranma only unintentionally swayed her backside at Naruto, triggering the perv in him as a drop of blood fell from his nose.

"Ah, baby. That's right. Work that thing," Naruto grinned, leering Ranma. He only snapped out his ogling of the crazy female when she leaped sky high into the air. By the looks of it Ranma was clearly trying to jump over the fence and head elsewhere, "Oh no, you don't!"

Luckily, Naruto was on hand to stop her; with a quick accelerated burst of speed, the blond disappeared from his place, materializing airborne in front of the recoiling Ranma. With a snap back fist delivered to Ranma's cheek, the blond hammered her into unconsciousness, sending her sleeping form launching towards rooftop-level.

The shinobi vanished from his position up in the air to the ground once again, holding out his arms for Ranma to fall into place, to which she did, sure enough.

Naruto hugged the unconscious beauty close to his body, closely examining the lovely mark on the cheek which he had smacked in with his fist to bring her cat rampage to a screeching halt. She would surely have a swollen cheek come tomorrow morning.

_Just beautiful, _it wasn't like he didn't enjoy getting nagged at by Akane-chan for trivial matters, such as getting himself to school, now she really does have something justifiable to bitch at him about.

Damn it all.

"I wonder what _that _was all about anyway," By that he meant Ranma's mind vacating the vicinity to be replaced by a cat's brain.

It reminded the whisker-faced shinobi of the three times he had lost control of Kurama's chakra and gone full on berserker; the first time being between a sparring match gone all sorts of wrong against Pervy Sage - the second time being when Orochimaru told him his brother Sasuke was his bitch - and the last time was when Pain put Hinata in a near death state after the girl had professed her 'love' for him.

This girl, Naruto couldn't stop the fond smile from spreading across his face at the small similarity shared between the two, although her burst of immense invulnerability seemed to come more about of a defence mechanism of sorts, either than a living being comprised of pure energy.

If the latter was the case, then either he or Kurama would've sensed it immediately, easy.

"Well, whatever the case how your cat-thing came about, Ranma, one thing's for sure," Naruto said, slowly kneeling down to settle Ranma down, his eyes beginning to free roam over her gorgeous body, "Your dad's an asswipe for putting you through that kinda training…" His words trailed off, his eyes ogling Ranma's jugs.

"Wow," There wasn't much say in this instance, so he fell back to a simple compliment, "They look really nice."

A sudden, sneaky thought popped into his head, and with it on his mind, he gently lowered himself to the ground on his knees, resting Ranma's head on his lap. With a grin of mischievousness on his face, Naruto slowly descended his open palms towards Ranma's busty puppies. Since Ranma was asleep, she wouldn't mind if Naruto helped himself to a little treat.

If she did mind Naruto molesting her, she would need someone to inform her she was groped in the first place, and the last time Naruto checked, it was just her and him. Naruto's lips were obviously going to be zipped, so Ranma would be blissfully unaware that Naruto basically sexually assaulted her in the long haul.

What Ranma didn't know, wouldn't hurt her.

"Phew. These _also_ feel _nice."_

Yeah… this was a good idea.

XxX

(Elsewhere – Nerima-zoo – with Mr Panda)

XxX

Out of all the places Saotome – aka Mr Panda – could've been sentenced to, a zoo wasn't all that bad.

It was as if God from above had personally decided to reward him for all his hard work.

*About time to!*

The journey of enlightenment had been long and vicious, but little by little he watched his son grow from the baby-faced, pip tweak toddler he once was, into a man. Though there was still much work to be done on Ranma to really perfect his metamorphosis from a man with a few spoiled brat tendencies, to a true fearless, honourable _man-among-men_.

Saotome could not stress how disappointed he was in his son for refusing to come along peacefully to Tendo's to marry his daughter - or was that one of his daughters? Hmm. Saotome forgot. It had been a long time since Saotome had spoken to his old friend.

It was just one of the many sacrifices he'd had to take in order to dedicate his all to completing his son transformation into the _man-among-men_ he was destined to be – and is still destined to be just that...

…A Godly, honourable man, not only feared, but also envied by all other men; the most desirous man ever. A man other men want to be and the only men that women want to be with. Of course he would never cheat on his _carefully_ handpicked wife *insert first name here* Saotome.

Ahhh. Saotome had it all planned out.

*And I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that meddling blond boy,* His swiftly held up sign read from his position comfortably perched on his side in his cage. Around the man-turned-panda was a ton of bamboo sticks.

A shiver of fear ran down Saotome's spine just thinking of the gaijin who had effortlessly blasted him down the road so tremendously hard, it left Saotome too injured to even move. He was easy picking for that group of maniacs to carry him away to this luxurious zoo.

"Gwah." He sighed, sounding more like a growl, *Though I suppose I can't really fault the boy,* He flipped his sign around before discarding it to pick up a bamboo stick. While he majestically materialized another sign out of thin air with his power of 'fuck off, logic', he chomped down on the bamboo stick, *Hohoho, I have all the food I could possibly want here.*

In all honesty, Saotome didn't expect he would enjoy being trapped within the boundaries of this cage so much, but lo-and-behold, this had been his paradise so far.

And to think it all started yesterday, when Saotome had woken up and shaken off his concussion to find a sea of bamboo sticks basically over-flooding his cage, and just at a time when he had been heavily contemplating – in his sleep – of his master plan to escape this cage and make his way to the Tendo Dojo.

One of the zoo-keepers saw this and approached Mr Panda with a sly smile. He told him this was all the gaffer's doing and that there would be plenty more where that came from if the meeting he was scheduled to have today with the gaffer went well.

*If I play my cards right I could be living like royalty in here!* He flipped around his sign with a gleeful expression on his face.

Why not? To Ranma's father, a talented, ass-kicking panda like him basically getting the chosen-one treatment made a lot of sense when one thought about it rationally.

This zoo really knew how to treat their animals, from hampering them, to getting them their favourite non-human-related course dishes, giving them massages to keep them loosened, the works…

This place was literally a Godsend paradise.

Saotome jolted up into a sitting position at the combined sounds of rattling metal, and creeks of rustled steeled bars.

Sure enough, someone was coming in flanked by two average, unremarkable looking security guards. His skin complexion was tanned, which oddly resembled the colour orange, though his skin-colour matched his darkish red hair, styled in a ponytail held together by a black-coloured bandana.

Both the manner of which he held himself and his choice of garments clearly indicated this guy thought of himself as the '_Big-cheese' _around this district; a medium grey blazer jacket over a dark pink dress shirt with the three buttons undone, medium grey pants, a pair of red shaded sunglasses covering his eyes completely, and a posh pair of brown shoes fitted on his feet.

"Mr Panda, is it?" The man asked, his voice a sulky smooth one oozing confidence. Taking the risk of leaving the guards' sides, even only slightly, the rich-looking guy leaned his head closer to Saotome, lifting up his sunglasses with his index finger to show Saotome a familiar pair of blue eyes.

His heart twisted at the thought of Ranma, but he pushed it to the back of his mind.

*Please!* Saotome held up a sign with a sheepish expression on his face. While he flipped his sigh around to reveal more words, he brought his free claw up to rub the back of his head, *Mr Panda was my father's name. Call me Genma.*

With their bottom lips sticking out, the guards nodded their heads, impressed by the panda's ability to name itself and crack jokes.

"Ah, I like that!" The man said, putting his sunglasses back down, "Genma-baby, you're gonna go far in this world."

Genma discarded his sign to bring out another one smoothly, *Thank you.* He turned his sign around, *Now what do I get? I'll have you know I was the best panda of the bunch.* With the bizarre expressions of those gathered honed on him, he threw away the used sign he had to bring out another one with a wise air about him.

*Just something to keep in mind.*

"Yes, I see." The man said, taking in the unnecessary info regardless, "With that out of the way we're gonna be in business!" By that he meant _he _was gonna be in the money.

*How so?*

The man grinned hugely, though there was a smugness about it which smelled off, "Of course, of course. You're gonna be one of my main stars, Genma-baby, it's only fitting you know your role. But first I think I'll start with introducing myself," Genma blinked while the guy coughed into his hand, a dramatic air about him, "The name's Rio, aka Rich Rick, Double R for short. And, as you should know already, I own this dump and a circus along with other well-known establishments in Nerima."

*Okay, Double R.* Genma flipped around his sign with a strange look on his face. He threw that one away, and lifted up another sign, *Where do I fit in all this?" He flipped his sign around, *In your mad scheme, that is?*

"Ah. Straight to business, I like that. Alright. Here's the thing, you don't want to stay here, do you?"

*I don't?*

"Yeah. You're too high profile to be in a _slum _like this, you get me?"

*Yeah! I am!*

"How about I get you a gig that suits a panda of your talent?" Double R suggested, a smirk on his face.

*Sounds good!*

"Gooooood," Double R drawled out the word tastefully, as if savouring the word on the tip of his tongue, "Genma-baby, I guarantee you _won't_ regret this. I give you my word that you'll have your all needs attended to, everything you could possibly want will be at the tip of your fingers."

*More bamboo sticks!*

"Hehe. An request to-."

*And sake!"

Double R and the guards gave the demanding panda clear looks of befuddlement, "What could a panda possibly want with alcohol?" The guard on Ricky's left voiced their one and only unspoken question.

*Pandas like sake!*

The two guards looked confusedly at each other, then back at the panda who had a stern expression laced across its face.

"Well, whatever. Easily done," Rich Rick assured, his words brightening the Panda's expression, "Anything else?"

*Oh! And I want more food, preferably some fried chicken and rice!*

The guards looked weirdly at the gleeful-looking demanding Panda, shared a glance with each other to confirm their thoughts mirrored the other, and gazed back at Genma, "Pandas eat chicken?"

*Kentucky Fried Chicken is the nutriment of all thriving martial artists!* Genma's new sign read. The guards blinked bizarrely at his exaggerated, wise expression, *I mean… uhh, thriving pandas! Uhm, err, yes. Pandas. That's what I meant to say!*

The guards shared a glance with each other as if to communicate in their own unique tongue.

"You know what?" Rio's head was shockingly cool regardless of all the oddities that the strange panda recently dubbed Genma was showing. He was either feigning ignorance under the guise of inquisitiveness for the sake of the conversation or was just plain dumb, "Why don't I just give you your very own suite?"

*…*

*…*

The guards gasped, with highlighted, bordering on ludicrousness, gaping expressions on their faces at seeing such an privileged luxury offered to this otherworldly panda.

*Oh!* Genma's expression could be related to a kid in a candy store. With how bouncy his posture was, it was difficult to make out the words on his sign before he flipped it around, *I like that one! Let's go with that!*

"Excellent!" Rio applauded, the guards staring in stunned debrief at what had transpired.

"I can't believe it…"

"What a lucky bastard…"

Genma snickered as if he was a mischievous little rascal, *I got it going on!* He bragged, whipping up his wooden sign to depict his mildly conceited expression.

"Amen brother," Ricky agreed, spinning on his heels, "Now if excuse me, Genma-baby, I must be bidding you adieu for now. Fear not my good panda-man we'll get ya out of this slum first thing tomorrow morning. You have my word, from one man to a next." To Genma, he may as well as given him the key to the city as his word-of-honour.

*I trust ya!* Ricky turned around to see he had Genma's faith fully contained in a bag.

"I'm touched," Ricky said conceitedly, eliciting a sheepish expression from Genma before he ushered the two guards to follow him, "Come along, gentlemen. This meeting's on hold until we get my man in a suite. You may leave his cell open as a sign of my trust." The guards grumbled their obedience, obviously still sore that this lucky panda gets the luxury treatment before following Double R out of the now open cell.

*See ya around!* Genma's sign read. He was practically drooling out of the mouth from what was to come, *I…I…I can't believe it! This is a gift from the heavens of the Gods themselves!* He cheerfully exploded, flipping his sign around. He discarded that one to let everyone, humans and animals alike, know of his excessive joy.

*A life of retirement! Say it isn't so!* He probably shouldn't put that on his sign in case he jinxed fate, *Oh. Wouldn't want that,* Genma had an apprehensive, nervous, expression on his face.

So it seemed fortune had smiled upon him and Genma couldn't have been happier. Work was hard, he would much prefer to sit in his cosy suite drinking free booze, watching free television, deploying his special Saotome attack to wolf as much chow as humanly, (or ungodly) possible, taking a dip in a hot Jacuzzi after a horrid freezing cold shower transformed him into his cursed form, and finally getting a good night's rest in a comfy bed.

*Luxury at its finest. Nothing and I _mean nothing _could spoil this moment.*

Whenever one says such a frequent set of reassuring words something usually occurs to sober the mood.

This time was no different.

A bored expression of indifference painted on the face of a black-haired, pigtailed-styled youth flashed in Genma's mind.

*Boy,* Genma's eyes held a not so uncommon mixture of sadness and worry, "Gwah!" *What am I worried about? M'boy will be fine!*

After all, he was a man.

XxX

(Elsewhere – Location Unknown)

In a clearing located in the region of China stood a fairly tall, but slender light-skin toned young man. His facial features clearly suggested he was still in the common rumbustious teen years, though that wasn't to say he was like that. His name and boast wouldn't fit in the same sentence unless the word *doesn't* was in the middle.

If one looked real close at his spiky black hair they would not only see a blue tint to it but also notice the two bangs framing his face.

His garments consisted of a dark blue stylish eagle-patterned Kimono that had a white-and-red fan on the back, crimson red hakama-pants, and a pair of blue sandals on his feet. Perhaps the most significant piece of clothing on the young man's person was a pair of dark blue sunglasses with blue tinted lenses covering his eyes.

"Alright." He said, his voice set in a deep, gruff tone while his face was locked in an stoical mask despite the bead of sweat rolling down his cheek, "I think I've finally lost that purple-haired maniac." Really. Now how had he gotten himself into this? Just... Oh, god. Okay. That was the last time he stopped to help out a pair of targeted fools. It had caused him nothing but trouble, "I haven't got the time to start rebuilding the Uchiha-clan. I still haven't made any progress in my mission to find a means of escaping this dimension with Naruto," He almost chuckled at the irony of the situation.

Naruto - Mr optimistic - was just chilling in Japan, seemingly having accepted their defeat while he was out here putting in work to get back and seal off that bitch Kaguya!

Since when did he become the starry-eyed shinobi of the two.

"Sasuke-airen!"

Oh. Since a rabid fangirl started chasing him to the ends of the earth for his hand in marriage.

Wait. Something about this scenario seemed off.

Oh yeah. This was barely any different to the times girls in Konoha were pining for his affection. The only difference now was this 'fangirl' was about a hundred times more powerful than the regular fangirl with an equal tenacity to match her Jounin-level strength.

"You ready to marry your Shampoo, yes?"

"No! Leave me alone you psycho!"

"Aw. Sasuke-airen shy, yes?"

"I'm not shy. I just don't like getting harassed."

"Oh. Then Sasuke-airen marry Shampoo, yes?"

"No."

"Yes?"

"No."

"Yes?"

"No."

"..."

"..."

"Sasuke-airen come back to Shampoo's village. Shampoo make her airen her best dish."

Sasuke sighed hard, using his index finger to knock up his sunglasses to reveal his sharingan/rinnegan eyes.

When all else fails, pull out the genjutsu card.

* * *

**So Kaguya has cemented her place as one of the WORST villains of all time. Period. When a villain's demise is assured by Sakura-baby - she's a woman too - then you know she sucks donkey balls... nuff said. **

**What a boring, completely out of the ass, fight. **


End file.
